


Texas State of Mind

by palominopup



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Country Singer Cas, Country singer Dean, Cowboy Dean, Gay Sex, M/M, Past Castiel/Meg Masters, Recovering Alcoholic Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-09-14 07:01:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 69,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9167449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/palominopup/pseuds/palominopup
Summary: Dean Winchester was once an award winning country music star, but fame came too early. Now, he’s fifteen years sober and owns a ranch in western Texas.  He’s happy with his life. He has horses, a nice herd of cattle and so what, if he’s alone. He tells his friends that he’s happily single. Back when he was touring, men and women threw themselves at him – but he knew they only wanted him for his fame.Cas Novak just won his fifth CMA award. He loves singing, but the touring was getting old. Living in a bus nine months out of the year was slowly destroying his creativity. He hasn’t written anything new in over a year. Then he hears an old song on the radio. He vaguely remembers the handsome singer and wondered whatever happened to him. Before he knew it, he'd written a new song. The only problem was…it was a duet. A duet that could only be sung with a voice like Winchester’s.After locating the man’s ranch, Cas makes a surprise visit. Will he be able to talk Dean into joining him on stage after all these years? Will the two men find what they’ve been looking for all their lives – someone to share a future with?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I offer a special thank you to Sega64 for her help with this one.

 

Cas Novak took his final bow, his guitar slung over his back. The crowd’s response was deafening. As soon as he walked off the stage, his smile disappeared. His band and the roadies were already breaking down the instruments and sound equipment. “Good show tonight, Casadesus,” Gabe, his brother and manager, said with a slap on Cas’ back. “Sellout crowd.”

“Are we leaving tonight?” Cas asked, removing his Stetson, so he could slip the guitar strap over his head. He handed the Martin off to a stage hand.

“Yep, gotta be in Shreveport for tomorrow’s show.” Gabe handed Cas a towel to wipe the sweat from his face.

“I’m tired, Gabe. When is the next break?” This tour was taking its toll on Cas. They’d done ten cities in fourteen days.

“After the New Orleans show, you’ll have three days before we do the rounds in Texas.” Three days. It wasn’t even worth going home. Not that home was anything special. He had a nice mansion near Nashville that Gabe picked it out for him a couple years ago. To Cas, it was just a place to sleep.

“I’ll be in the bus,” Cas said, stepping around his brother and heading down the corridor leading to the area where the buses were parked. Knowing what was waiting outside, he put the hat back on his head. A tall chain link fence kept the fans from getting near the buses, but it didn’t stop them from calling out to the singer. Cas plastered on another smile and waved before boarding his bus. His driver, Balthazar was sitting on the couch watching television. He glanced up and paused the program.

“You're home early, Darling.” The Frenchman had been driving his bus for the last four years and they’d become friends.

“I didn’t feel like hanging out with the guys tonight.” Cas took off his Stetson and tossed it on the small table he used to eat, write music, and answer his fan mail. “I’m going to go to bed. Gabe said we’re leaving tonight, so don’t let anyone disturb me.”

“Too late,” Balthazar shrugged and pointed towards the back of the bus where Cas’ bedroom was located.

“Meg?”

“Who else?” Balthazar chuckled and unpaused the television. Cas counted to ten and strode into the bedroom. Meg, his keyboard player, was sprawled across his bed, wearing nothing but a pair of panties and one of his shirts.

“Hello, Lover,” she purred, stretching to show off her body to its best advantage.

“Not anymore, Meg. You need to go.” Cas began unbuttoning his shirt.

“Come on, Cas, you’ve been all stressed out and tense lately. Let me help.” She sat up, tucking a strand of her dark, wavy hair behind her ear.

“Meg, please, just…” He dragged his fingertips through his hair. It was damp with sweat. He wanted a shower. “…damn it, can’t you just move on?” It only happened a handful of times right after Meg joined the band. He’d been in a bad place and just needed a warm body. Meg was good for a roll in the sheets and she didn’t want any entanglements. She’d spread her legs for some of the other band members and even Gabe had gotten a taste. If she wasn’t such a good musician, he would have fired her a long time ago.

“Move on? You act like we were engaged or something.” She stood and began to pull on the pair of red jeans she’d worn on stage. “I just want to fuck, Cas, not have your babies.”

“I know, but I just don’t…” What? Cas didn’t know how to finish his sentence. He was just tired of life on the road. Tired of the groupies that were willing to drop to their knees to service the country music star if he even smiled in their direction. Mostly, though, he was tired of being unable to create.

Meg took off Cas’ shirt, leaving her nude from the waist up. He wasn’t the least bit interested. “Your loss, Cowboy.” She tugged on a tight t-shirt and walked towards the narrow doorway.

“Don’t go out chasing dick. We’re leaving tonight as soon as the buses are loaded.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered, leaving his room. Cas fell back across his bed, knowing he was too tired to sleep. With every CMA Award win, Cas lost more of himself. He knew it sounded ungrateful to complain about a life some people would kill for, but he missed being able to write music and lyrics. The last hit he had was written by someone else. With a frustrated groan, he got up and finished undressing.

After his shower, Cas pulled on a pair of gray sweats and got into bed. He picked up the thriller he’d been trying to finish for the last week, but it didn’t hold his attention. He reached for his phone and opened the Pandora app. Lacing his fingers behind his head and crossing his ankles, he let the music do it’s magic.

_**Well, the midnight headlights blind you on a rainy night** _

_**Steep grade up ahead slow me down makin' no time** _

_**But I gotta keep rollin'** _

_**Those windshield wipers slappin' outta tempo** _

_**Keepin' perfect rhythm with the song on the radio** _

_**But I gotta keep rollin'** _

 

_**Ooh, I'm driving my life away** _

_**Lookin' for a better way for me** _

_**Ooh, I'm driving my life away** _

_**Lookin' for a sunny day** _

Cas recognized the song, though he hadn’t heard it in years. The singer’s baritone had a sensual quality that Cas found he liked. He looked at the screen. Dean Winchester. The name was familiar. He swiped his finger across the screen of his phone and typed the name in the Google search bar. Cas stared at the dozens of images of a young man, probably in his early twenties. He was a beautiful man and there was an impish sparkle in his eyes as he smiled for the camera.

The first link was Wikipedia. Apparently, Dean Winchester was a rising country star about fifteen years ago and suddenly disappeared from the public eye. According to the website, he’d been only twenty-three when he fell off the media’s radar. Intrigued, Cas opened up link after link. An hour later, Cas stared at the ceiling, contemplating what he’d found out.

The young singer’s first CD went platinum. He was touring the country, but gained a reputation of being a heavy drinker. There were records of bar fights and even an arrest. That’s when the story ended. Even the images of the man were out of date. He had really fallen off the face of the earth.

The humming of the bus’ tires soothed Cas’ mind and he was almost asleep when he sat straight up. Quickly, before the thought drifted away, he raced into the living area and sat down at the table. He opened the box of blank sheet music that had been mocking him for months. Picking up the Ovation he used to write songs with, Cas began to compose and soon got lost in the melody.

When the bus stopped at three a.m. to gas up, Cas was finishing up the lyrics. Balthazar looked in at him from the driver’s area. “Weren’t you whining about being tired?”

Cas looked up and grinned. “I just wrote a song.” Balthazar’s eyebrows rose. Only his driver and Gabe knew about his yearlong inability to write.

“Good for you. I guess the producers will get off your back now.” Cas hoped so. The record execs were careful not to piss him off because he was their cash cow, but they’d been unhappy with his lack of original songs.

***

It was barely eight, but Dean was already sweating. The hay was loaded in the back of the ranch’s trailer and ready to be hauled to the barn for storage. Benny, already shirtless in the dry west Texas heat, motioned for Dean to pull the truck forward. He closed the gate and crawled in next to Dean. “It’s not even fuckin’ July yet. We’re in for a bad summer, Boss Man.”

“Yeah. This afternoon, we need to check the stock tanks. And we’d better pray the pond doesn’t dry up.” Water was expensive when you were running a spread like Dean's. Unrelenting dry weather could make or break a small ranch.

When the truck stopped in front of the hay barn, both men got out and started the strenuous job of unloading the bales and stacking them for the winter months. When they were done, Dean squinted at the sun, guessing it was close to eleven. “Might as well eat lunch now.”

They got back into the truck and headed back to the field where the baler was sitting idle. Bobby, Dean’s godfather, pulled off his baseball cap and whistled. “Hotter than Satan’s ass crack out here,” he complained as he climbed down from the tractor. “We breaking for lunch?”

“Sure are,” Dean answered, pulling a cooler from the bed of the pickup. He’d packed sandwiches and bottled water that morning. He passed them out and the three men sat in the shade thrown from the tractor. Dean reckoned they had a couple more hours of baling before he could get to the stock tanks. Dean could hear his prize herd of Texas Longhorns lowing in the distance. Chewing on a blade of dried grass, Dean leaned back against the tractor’s tire and shut his eyes. It would be nice to take a nap, but he couldn’t afford it.

Later that evening, Dean showered and pulled on a pair of boxers. All the chores were done for the night except closing up the barns. Bobby volunteered to do that on his way into town to see Ellen at The Roadhouse. Those two had been dancing around each other for as long as Dean could remember. Everyone he knew had a partner…a mate. His brother, Sam, married Ellen’s daughter, Jo, eight years ago. Benny had Andrea, a beautiful Greek woman he’d met at a rodeo, of all things. They had two kids already. It didn’t bother Dean that he didn’t have a special someone in his life. He was happy. The ranch and his family keep him busy.

Downstairs, he turned on the television. His DVR was full and he really needed to clean it out. He flipped through all the shows saved on the device. He made a disgruntled sound when he realized Bobby had taped some CMT show. He looked up on the bookcase by the fireplace at his Male Vocalist of the Year award sat collecting dust. Dean did his best not to think about his previous life. Some of it, he didn’t even remember. Heavy drinking had a way of doing that to you. The only time he picked up a guitar these days was to play at family gatherings and he didn’t even do that often.

Dean settled on Blue Bloods. He had four episodes to binge watch. When the third one was done, he heard the front door open and close. “How’s Ellen?” He called out from his place on the couch.

“She’s fine. Says to tell you she misses you.” Dean didn’t spend a lot of time at The Roadhouse. Being around the alcohol didn’t bother him as much as it used to, but the country music coming from the juke box was a reminder he didn’t need. Ellen kept a few of his songs on the old machine and it never failed that someone would spend their quarters on those selections while he was there. He knew if he asked, she’d remove them. He wouldn’t ask.

“Have her come out to the ranch for dinner Sunday night. We’ll grill some steaks. I’ll invite Sam and Jo too.” Sam and Jo lived and worked in the neighboring city of Odessa.

“I’ll do that,” the older man said, sitting down in one of the matching recliners and leaned back. “You always run around in your underwear when I’m gone?”

“No, sometimes I get naked and dance,” Dean retorted. “Wanna see?” Dean bounced to his feet and hooked his thumbs over the waistband of his boxers. He wiggled his eyebrows. Bobby grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at him.

“Idjit.”

Much later, the house was dark and silent and Dean was restless. He’d tossed and turned for the last thirty minutes. Working from sunup to sundown made it easy for him to fall asleep, but tonight, memories kept him awake.

He’d had it all. He was young, good looking and had a talent for songwriting and singing. His first CD went platinum and he won a CMA award. Life was good. He could have any man or woman he wanted. The price of fame was high. He partied too much and the drinking got out of control. His record label called him a PR nightmare. They covered his behavior until that fateful night in Los Angeles. Dean didn’t remember anything, but the details were told in graphic detail on Entertainment Tonight, CMT and all the country radio stations. Dean woke in a jail cell.

His career was salvageable, but he was ordered by a judge to go to a rehab facility. Six weeks later, Dean decided to walk away from his music. He bought the small ranch and began breeding Texas Longhorns and Quarter Horses. His bloodlines were sought out by people across the country. Dean didn’t have regrets, but sometimes, like tonight, he thought about the ‘what ifs’.

The next morning, Dean sent Bobby and Benny into town to get supplies while he trimmed hooves on a few of his mares. He was leading two of them back to the paddock when a bus rattled up the dirt drive. He squinted his eyes against the sun. As the black bus got closer, kicking up a shitload of dust because the damn fool driver was going too fast, Dean could make out writing on the side. “Cas Novak,” Dean read out loud. He knew the name. You’d have to live under a rock not to know about the star who shared top billing with the likes of George Strait and Garth Brooks. Yes, Dean knew the name, but he could not have told you a single song the guy sang. And he definitely wouldn’t be able to pick him out of a crowd.

He hooked his thumbs in his belt and waited for the bus to come to a stop. The doors opened and Dean glimpsed the driver, light hair, grim face. “I hope you’re happy, the bus is going to be filthy and we’ll be lucky not to have broken an axle on that sorry excuse for a road,” the driver was saying to someone behind him. The accent was foreign and snotty. Dean crossed his arms and glared. The man didn’t even have the good grace to look abashed.

“Zar, just shut up for once in your life.” A deeper voice came from the dark interior and then another man appeared on the steps of the bus. He made eye contact with Dean and Dean swallowed hard, forgetting how to breath. He was drop dead gorgeous. Dark hair, looking like it hadn’t seen a comb in weeks, but sexy as hell. It didn’t look like he’d picked up a razor in the last few days either. The aviator sunglasses had Dean at a disadvantage. “You’re Dean Winchester.”

“I am,” Dean said, not offering anything else.

“I’m Cas Novak.” The stranger held out his hand. Dean ignored it.

“I figured as much,” Dean drawled, with a nod to the side of the bus, where not only the man’s name was plastered, but his picture, as well. The other man dropped his hand to his side. Dean knew he was being rude, but he left the country music scene for a reason and he didn’t appreciate it pulling up in his driveway.

“I was hoping to talk to you.” Dean ran his eyes up and down Novak’s body. He was well built and dressed in tight jeans, cowboy boots, a white t-shirt, and a plaid overshirt. If Dean’s bold perusal made him uncomfortable, he didn’t show it.

“Unless you’re here to buy a horse or some cattle, I’m not interested in anything you have to say.” Dean heard a snort of laughter come from the driver. Novak tilted his head to the side and gave Dean a half-smile.

“I think I might want a horse. Can you show me what you have?” Dean didn’t expect that answer and it took him a couple of seconds to come up with a suitable response.

“You didn’t come here to buy a horse.”

“No, but I’m willing to do that, if you’ll talk to me.” The breeze was ruffling his unruly hair and Dean’s eyes were drawn to it again.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re selling, but I ain’t buying. So, you might as well climb back in your fancy bus and go back to Nashville or wherever else you came from.”

“I’m not selling anything. I think I’m buying a horse.” Dean could almost hear the unspoken ‘checkmate’ from the man. He set his jaw and nodded.

“Fine,” he said through clinched teeth. “I’ll show you what I have.” Yeah, he’d show the man alright.

***

The pictures on the internet didn’t do the man justice. The pretty boy had turned into a beautiful man. Cas was intrigued. Some of the links had hinted to the fact that Dean Winchester was bisexual, but there was never any proof. In another time, Cas would have asked for a taste. He had bigger plans though and it didn’t involve sex.

After he’d finished the song, he’d run his idea by Gabe. His brother was pleased Cas was able to write again, but less than thrilled about the idea of a duet. At least, not a duet with a washed up, alcoholic singer. Reba, Carrie or Miranda would have been fine with Gabe. Unfortunately, the song needed to be sung by two men and Cas had his heart set on Dean Winchester. He knew Winchester’s voice would harmonize with his perfectly.

The moment Cas finished the show in New Orleans, he’d told his band and road crew to have a nice three days off. Then he had Balthazar point the bus west. It took twelve hours to cross the huge state, but Cas used the time wisely. He called in a few favors to get the location of Dean’s ranch. When that quest was finished, he sat at the table and hashed out another song. Cas just knew their voices would sound great together. The only obstacle seemed to be Dean Winchester himself.

From the time Cas had stepped off the bus, the man had been rude. Now, he was following the rancher towards a fenced pasture. The bowlegged gait shouldn’t have given Cas filthy ideas. He shouldn’t be fantasizing about those same legs wrapped around his waist. “These are all the stock I have for sale. They are all mares with a few young colts thrown in the mix. If you want a filly, it’ll cost you. I don’t sell them unless they prove they aren’t good for breeding. I do have a few geldings that I’ll sell, if you’re just wanting a good riding horse. They’re in the next pasture over.”

Winchester stopped at a rail fence and leaned on it. Cas came to stand beside him. Several horses raised their heads and looked in their direction. Cas didn’t ride. He sure as hell didn’t want to buy any livestock. “I’ve written a duet and think you would be perfect for it.”

Cas could almost see the tension radiate off the cowboy. He made a guttural sound in his throat and spit onto the ground. “No.” He paused for a beat and then pointed. “See that blue roan out there? That colt will make a great cutting horse. He’s flashy enough for the show ring too.”

Cas released a frustrated breath. “Could you at least listen…”

“No.” Winchester nodded towards another horse. “Not sure what you’re looking for, but that mare over there…the chestnut with the white blaze and white socks on her back legs…now, she’d make a great barrel racer. Her mama was National Champion a few years back.”

There was a throbbing in his temples. The bastard was giving him a headache. “Fine, I’ll take her,” he snapped. The slow smile on the other man’s face made him see red, but he held his tongue.

“Follow me to the office and I'll get the paperwork done. You going to take her with you or have her shipped?”

“Does it look like I can take her with me?” Cas asked, his voice laced with sarcasm.

“That fancy bus looks big enough to hold her,” Winchester drawled. The man’s eyes squinted against the glare from the sun, but they were filled with mirth at Cas’ expense. Without waiting for Cas’ reply, the cowboy walked off. Cas had to hurry to catch up. He followed Winchester into the dim light of a barn and through a doorway. The office was tidy. A single window let in the natural sunlight and dust motes floated in the air. The scarred oak desk held a slim laptop and metal filing cabinets lined one wall. Another wall held several cheap bookcases. Those were crammed with books, trophies, pictures, and other odds and ends. Winchester went to one of the file drawers and pulled it out. He let his fingertips skim over the folders.

“Here we go. Have a seat,” he said, indicating a wooden chair in front of the desk. The cowboy took the cracked leather chair behind the desk and opened up the file. “Here’s her pedigree and her vet records. You’ll get a copy of all this. Her registered name is Winchester Winning Hand, but you can change it when we transfer ownership.” Winchester slid a few documents across the desk. Cas had no idea what he was looking at. “My advice though…leave her name as is, she’s worth a lot of money with my name tagged to her. My bloodlines are well known. You can call her whatever you want…”

“How much?” Cas could arrange a bank transfer and maybe donate the horse to a charity auction.

“Forty thousand…and if you want her bred to one of my studs, I can cut you a deal on the fee.”

Cas blinked at the green-eyed man in stunned silence. Forty grand for a horse? He didn’t pay that much for the classic Camaro he’d bought a few years back. Before he knew it, he’d signed on the dotted line and was the proud owner of a farm animal. Winchester was droning on and on about shipping options and Cas found himself just nodding.

They stepped out into the sunlight again and Winchester was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. “Nice doing business with you, Mr. Novak. Have a nice day, ya hear?” And damned if the man didn’t tip his hat. Cas stepped up into the bus and found Balthazar lounging on the sofa, a copy of Playboy in his hands. He removed his sunglasses and set them on the counter.

“Well, is he going to record the song with you?”

“No.” Cas tossed the envelope containing the horse’s…his horse’s paperwork onto the table.

Zar sat up and tossed the magazine aside. “You must be losing your touch. You were gone long enough, I thought you’d have him on his knees begging…”

“He sold me a horse.” Cas sat down wearily and scrubbed his hands over his face. How had he let the man goad him into buying a damn animal?

“I don’t think I heard you correctly. I could have sworn you said he sold you a horse.” Cas turned his eyes onto his friend and gave him a scathing look. Balthazar began to laugh. Soon, he was clutching his sides, almost hysterical. Cas wished he had the power to smite the man.

“Can you please get us out of here? You’re paid to drive this bus…so drive the fucking thing.” In a fit of temper that would rival a toddler’s, Cas stormed into his room and slammed the door. Angry with himself and royally pissed at Winchester, he sat heavily on his bed, hands over his face. He heard the rumble of the bus’ engine and felt the bus begin its journey down the long, dirt driveway.

The next stop on the tour was Houston. Balthazar would find them a place to stay and they’d do the eight hour drive in the morning. They had plenty of time.

Cas stared at his guitar and wondered who else had the right voice to sing the song with him. He ran his thumb over the screen of his phone and pulled up the songs he’d downloaded. Winchester’s voice filled the room.

**_Thought I was over you, thought I could start anew_ **

**_I got a new job, new friends on the other side of town_ **

**_But here you are again just like a long lost friend_ **

**_And when I touched your hand it started all over again_ **

**_I can't help myself here comes that feeling_ **

**_Just like a raging river rushing over me_ **

**_No I can't help myself here I go falling_ **

**_Head over heels falling for you again_ **

Winchester was wasting his talent. Too bad he couldn’t handle the fame and let alcohol ruin his career.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Dean watched the bus head down the driveway and shook his head. He’d have to give it to the guy, buying a horse he didn’t need or want just so he could talk to Dean. Well, Dean talked to him alright, just not about anything to do with the country music industry. He was a looker though. A walking sex dream. Those jeans fit like a second skin and really showed off an impressive package.

With a huff of frustration, he headed to the barn to put away his tools. It had been too damn long. It wasn’t like he was able to meet anyone. You didn’t troll for hookups in sale barns and Dean didn’t do bars anymore. His right hand was the only lover he’d had in…a year…eighteen months. Damn.

He was just entering the barn when the pickup rattled up behind him. Benny was the first one out.

“Was that Cas Novak? Did you get to meet him? What did he want?” Bobby was climbing out a bit slower, but he looked just as interested. They must have passed the bus leaving the property.

“Yes. Yes. And he bought one of the mares,” Dean answered, fudging on that last question.

“He came here to buy a horse?” Bobby looked disbelieving. “For what?”

Dean shrugged noncommittally. “I didn’t ask.” Time to change the subject. “Y’all get the supplies?”

“Yeah, except for the Icetight. The feed store was out, but Henry said he’d have it in by the end of the week,” Bobby said as he let down the tailgate and hefted a box. Benny and Dean joined in and they had the supplies put away in the tack room in no time.

That night, Bobby found Dean in his office on the computer. “Strange that Novak came out here to buy a horse.”

Dean didn’t look up from the screen. He’d been going over spreadsheets. “Uh huh.”

“You’re hiding something,” Bobby said and Dean heard the creak of leather as he sat down on the worn couch. Dean exhaled, saved his work and looked up.

“He wrote a song. A duet. Guess he wants me to sing it with him.”

“Did you look it over?”

“Nope. You know I’m not interested in getting back to that part of my life, Bobby.”

Bobby stood up and Dean could'nt help but notice the disappointment on the older man’s face. “Your choice.”

“Bobby…” Bobby held up his hand.

“No, you made a choice to walk away from the talent God gave you.”

“You make it sound like I even had a choice, Bobby,” Dean said harshly, pushing his chair back and standing up.

“You had a choice, boy,” Bobby replied firmly. Dean dug his fingernails into his palms to keep from mouthing off. Back then, he would have lost his temper and then drowned himself in a bottle. He used the techniques he learned in rehab to calm down. Bobby’s expression softened. “Dean, you ain’t the same man anymore.”

No, he wasn’t. The pressure his father had put on him had led to the drinking and the fighting. John was gone now. He’d drunk himself into an early grave. His father had insisted on being Dean’s manager. He’d controlled every aspect of Dean’s life and Dean, needing to please his father in any way he could, let him. John knew Dean was bisexual and that he leaned more towards men, but he refused to let Dean act on it. He’d insisted it would ruin Dean’s career. John pushed him to be seen with beautiful women. Beautiful women that could help get his name in lights. God, he'd been so unhappy.

“Bobby…”

“Dean, your daddy ain’t running your life anymore. You can do whatever you want…be whatever you want.”

“Yeah…sure. When was the last time you saw a gay country singer make it big?” Dean was bisexual, but his father labeled him gay whenever he was angry. Which was most of the time...and gay was actually the nicest term John Winchester used. 

“Novak is openly bi.” Dean’s mouth dropped open at Bobby’s bombshell.

“No way.” Bobby would know better than Dean. Dean didn’t keep up with anything regarding country music. Sure, he’d heard songs being played at the feed store, but he usually tuned them out. He caught a glimpse of singers on talk shows. He didn’t live in a cave, but this was news.

“It’s a different world, Dean.” Bobby walked out of the office, leaving Dean alone and more than a bit confused.

Bobby didn’t bring it up again. The days passed quickly. He hadn’t heard anything from Novak about his mare. Dean usually charged a boarding fee for taking care of a horse after it’s been sold, but it would mean he’d have to contact the man. Contacting Novak had the potential for opening up a can of worms.

Dean woke on Friday morning to the sound of thunder and rain pelting down on the roof. He was glad; they really needed it. Unfortunately, even in bad weather, there were things needing to be done. He grabbed a cup of coffee and looked out the kitchen window. The rain was coming down hard. He watched as Benny’s truck pulled up next to the house, mud splashing up from the puddles to mar the white paint. Time to get started.

He dressed in his yellow slicker and stepped out onto the porch. The wraparound porch was what sold him the farmhouse to begin with. He’d looked at several properties, but the house was well made despite its age. He’d done a lot of renovations, both inside and out, but the porch was awesome. He always planned to get a swing and a few nice rocking chairs, but the ‘one day soon’ had slipped by.

Dean swung into the truck and together, they drove down to the barns. Dean filled Benny in on the things they could accomplish in the foul weather and once they parked, both men jumped out. Several hours later, Dean was ready for a hot shower. The rain made the July heat feel like a hot, damp blanket. He told Benny they were knocking off for the day, and after he left, Dean left his muddy boots on the porch and let himself in the house.

Dressed in a faded pair of sweat pants and an old Dallas Cowboys t-shirt, he holed up in his office to answer emails, catch up on the ranch’s bookkeeping and do all the other crap that he never had time for. The subject line caught his eye. What does the horse weigh? Huh?

**To: DWQuarterHorses@gmail.com**

**From: CJN4bees@yahoo.com**

**Subject: What does the horse weigh?**

**I got your email address off the purchase contract. I hope you don’t mind that I contacted you. I will be home in Nashville next week for a few days and decided to have the horse shipped. The livestock mover asked about weight and I had no idea what to tell him. Could you give me a close estimate? Once he has this information, he can give me a quote. We’ve set up the tentative date for July 15th.**

**I let my attorney read the contract and there is a stipulation about reselling the animal. Could you clarify? I will be donating the horse to my favorite charity to auction off.**

**Cas Novak**

Dean leaned back in his chair and reread the email. Frowning, he began to type.

**To: CJN4bees@yahoo.com**

**From: DWQuarterHorses@gmail.com**

**Subject: What does the horse weigh?**

**She probably weighs in at 1300 pounds, give or take. I have several people who I trust to ship my horses. I can give you names and contact info. July 15th is good.**

**That’s a big donation for a charity. I have an issue with it though. You don’t know what kind of person is going to win the bid. Will they be able to take care of her? Having a horse is expensive. Will they be able to afford proper vet care? My contracts have the stipulation about reselling for that very reason.**

**Dean**

Dean clicked the mouse and the reply was sent. It wasn’t until he was ready to close it that he saw the attachment on the original message from Novak. He clicked on it and growled. It was a scanned sheet of music. Nothing said he had to look at it; he could close it and forget it. “Fuck it,” he mumbled and read the words.

 **_I saw the light_ **  
**_I've been baptized_ **  
**_By the fire in your touch_ **  
**_And the flame in your eyes_ **  
**_I'm born to love again_ **  
**_I'm a brand new man_ **

**_Well the whole town's talking_ **  
**_'Bout the line I'm walking_ **  
**_That leads right to your door_ **  
**_Oh how I used to roam_ **  
**_I was a rolling stone_ **

**_I used to have a wild side_ **  
**_They say a country-mile-wide_ **  
**_I'd burn those beer joints down_ **  
**_That's all changed now_ **  
**_You turned my life around_ **

**_I saw the light_ **  
**_I've been baptized_ **  
**_By the fire in your touch_ **  
**_And the flame in your eyes_ **  
**_I'm born to love again_ **

**_I'm a brand new man_ **

**_I used to love 'em and leave 'em_ **  
**_I'd brag about my freedom_ **  
**_How no one could tie me down_ **  
**_Then I met you_ **

**_Now my heart beats true_ **

**_Baby you and me together_ **  
**_Feels more like forever_ **  
**_Than anything I've ever known_ **  
**_We're right on track_ **  
**_I ain't looking back_ **

**_I saw the light_ **  
**_I've been baptized_ **  
**_By the fire in your touch_ **  
**_And the flame in your eyes_ **  
**_I'm born to love again_ **  
**_I'm a brand new man_ **

**_I'm born to love again_ **  
**_I'm a brand new man_ **

Fuck. It might have been a song about him and his fight with alcoholism. Hadn’t Bobby recently said he wasn’t the same man anymore?

Novak had made notations on the sheet where they would sing together and separately. Yeah, so it was a decent song. At least, the words were okay. Before he could second guess himself, he printed out the sheets.

***

Winchester’s reply to Cas came quicker than expected. His attorney did point out the clause concerning reselling the horse and informed Cas that donating the it was basically the same thing. Cas was going to have to resort to Plan B. He had no idea what Plan B was yet though. He’d avoided discussing the purchase of the horse with Gabe because he knew his brother would laugh his ass off. He should probably just write off the money and tell Dean to keep the damn thing. Not that the horse was a damn thing. Cas was an animal lover, but he was on the road most of the time and he doubted his neighbors would like a horse wandering around his lawn.

There was no mention of the sheet music. Winchester was probably ignoring it. It was a shot in the dark anyway. The cowboy had seemed pretty adamant about his lack of interest.

Cas couldn’t think of another singer that he wanted to sing a duet with. He’d been approached by several female singers over the past few years and while the songs were good, he didn’t feel it. He supposed he could do the song by himself, but the harmony was just too damn good and he felt it would lose something.

He only had two more stops on the tour before he got another break. The four cities in Texas had been to sell-out crowds and he was exhausted. They’d be home soon and would have a week to rest and relax before getting into the studio to record. Deciding he would think about the horse dilemma later, he closed his laptop.

Three nights later, Tulsa was just one song away from being crossed off the tour list. He waited backstage listening to the fans chanting, “One more song.” They knew what was coming. Cas’ biggest hit of all was _Your Man_. It was always his encore performance. His band went back on and picked up their instruments. They teased the audience a bit before those iconic chords started. Cas walked out and the spotlights found him. He smiled and tossed his hat to Meg before accepting the microphone from Ed, his bass guitarist. Meg, knowing the routine, put the hat on her head and the crowd cheered. He stepped to the edge of the stage and began to sing.

 **_Baby, lock the doors and turn the lights down low_ **  
**_Put some music on that's soft and slow_ **  
**_Baby, we ain't got no place to go_ **  
**_I hope you understand_ **

**_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long_ **  
**_Never felt a feeling quite this strong_ **  
**_I can't believe how much it turns me on_ **

Cas finished the song and blew a kiss to the audience. On the bus, he pulled off his boots and sprawled on the couch. Balthazar, having slept most of the evening, got in the driver’s seat and started the nine hour drive to Nashville. Cas was exhausted, but unable to sleep. He opened his tablet and began to check his email. He sat up straighter. There was one from Winchester. It didn’t have a subject, but it did have an attachment.

**To: CJN4bees@yahoo.com**

**From: DWQuarterHorses@gmail.com**

**Looked over your song. Good lyrics. Tempo was off at the bridge. Try it this way.**

**Dean**

Cas clicked on the attachment and opened a scanned copy of the sheet music. In red, Winchester had scrawled several notes. Cas leapt from the couch and grabbed his guitar. He played the song through with Winchester’s changes and smiled. After a few more run-throughs, he typed out a reply to Winchester.

**To: DWQuarterHorses@gmail.com**

**From: CJN4bees@yahoo.com**

**Subject: Bridge Changes**

**Thanks. It did sound a lot smoother your way.**

**Cas**

Cas wanted to ask if Dean changed his mind, but thought better of it. Feeling better, Cas got undressed and crawled into bed. He slept until the bus pulled to a stop at the gates to his home. He heard the well oiled metal clang as they came to a stop. Balthazar drove through and the heavy gates shut behind them. The vehicle stopped in front of the house and Cas gathered his things.

“I’ll see you in a few days,” Balthazar said with a brief salute. Cas unlocked the doors and looked around the immaculately styled rooms. He wondered what Winchester’s home looked like. He imagined he wouldn’t be afraid to prop his booted feet on the coffee table. In a fit of rebellion, Cas threw himself on the expensive sofa and lifted his feet to rest on the ornate wooden surface. He hated this room. The artwork was not even close to his taste, the furniture was stiff and unforgiving. The only good thing in the room was his black grand piano. He looked over at the high gloss finish of the beautiful instrument. It was the one thing he’d insisted on when Gabriel hired the interior designer.

He got to his feet and sat down at the piano. He lifted his hands and began to play a classical piece. Country music paid the bills, but classical was his first love. He'd studied at Juilliard and thought he'd become a concert pianist. Funny how life happens. His long fingers danced over the keys going from one concerto to another, his eyes closed, letting the music relieve the stress of a long tour.

His phone rang. Expecting Gabriel, Cas answered without checking the screen. “I’m not leaving the house until Tuesday.” Silence followed his words and then Cas pulled the phone away from his ear and checked the caller ID. “I thought you were my brother.”

“Okay…that’s cool.” More silence.

“The changes you made worked out well.” Cas felt like he was coaxing a timid kitten from a corner.

“Your lyrics were good.”

“Thank you.” Seconds ticked by. Cas stared down at the black and white keys. Finally, he couldn’t help the dig. “I’ve got a few people in mind to sing it with me.”

“Good.” The word was clipped. “About the horse…” Way to change the subject, Winchester. Cas couldn’t help the small lift at the corner of his mouth.

“With the stipulations in the contract, I find myself in a position to let her remain in your possession. You may use the check as you see fit.”

“You always talk like a freakin’ college professor?”

“Not always.”

“Yeah, well, don’t sweat the check. I’ll return it. I’ll chalk it up to buyer’s remorse.”

“It was more like coercion.” Dean’s rich laughter tickled his ear and he couldn't help smiling.

“How do you figure I coerced you? If anything, you were the one that showed up unannounced on my doorstep.”

“I thought…and still think…your talent shouldn’t be wasted.”

“I’ll mail your check tomorrow.” There was no goodbye and Cas winced at the abrupt dismissal. He’d pushed too far.

***

If someone had held a gun to Dean's head, he couldn’t have told them why he’d called the man. Hell, he didn’t even know why he looked at the damn song to begin with, let alone, changed a few notes around. Christ, he hadn’t put pencil to sheet music in years.

He threw his phone down on the worn sofa and let his dusty boots thunk on the scarred wooden coffee table. He leaned his head back and the breath he released was more of an annoyed huff. Who he was annoyed with, he couldn’t tell you.

The rest of the week was spent on ranch business and Dean put the singer and his forty thousand dollar check out of his mind. Saturday and Sunday were Benny’s off days and other than feeding the stock, Dean usually didn’t do much. He drove into Odessa to pick up a few personal things at the local Walmart and spent the evening with Sam and Jo.

Jo’s bump was beginning to show and Dean couldn’t help patting it until finally having enough, Jo snapped. “I’m not a fuckin’ Buddha, Dean. Jesus.” Sam tried and failed to hide his grin. It got him an evil glare from his wife and she allocated them to the back deck while she stayed inside watching some movie on Lifetime. Dean didn't want to get hit, so he didn't tease her about her choice of entertainment.

“Bobby said Cas Novak came to the ranch. That must have been a shock,” Sam said, tipping his bottle of beer up.

“Yeah.” Dean was going to have a talk with Bobby about his big mouth. He'd lay money on the whole county knowing about it by now.

“You doing okay?” Sam was there for him during those years when he lived in an alcohol induced stupor. He sat through a few of Dean’s AA meetings, offering support. Sam was also the one that punched Dean in the mouth when he caught Dean with a bottle after his stint in rehab. That was the last time he had a drop of the stuff.

“I guess,” Dean rolled the can of Coke between his palms. Sam’s beer, sweating in the warm Texas heat, didn’t even register. Not after fourteen years and eight months sober.

“Bobby said that he was just starting out playing clubs when you were…” Sam stopped. There was an unspoken rule that the two brothers didn’t bring up Dean’s lost career. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. After fifteen years, you’d think I’d get over it,” Dean said, not making eye contact.

“Dean, if Dad hadn’t…hadn’t pushed you so hard, you would have been up there with Garth Brooks or Cas Novak. You’d still be singing.” Dean knew Bobby and Sam both blamed John for Dean’s fall from grace, but he could have been stronger. John may have helped it along, but Dean’s problems were on him.

“Novak wants me to sing with him. A duet.” Sam straightened up and sat the beer down.

“Dean…that’s great news.”

“Sammy, I don’t think I can,” The thought of being on stage again. Having people in the business remember him…remember the drunk rages. Novak seemed like a nice guy…who else would buy a forty thousand dollar horse and offer to give it to charity? No, Dean would just drag the man down with him.

Later that night, in his dark bedroom, Dean allowed himself to remember the feeling of being on stage. The bright lights. The adrenaline coursing through his veins. The excitement from the screaming crowds. It came back to him in a rush. Damn Novak for doing this to him.

Bobby was spending his Sunday with Ellen. They were heading to Odessa to have lunch with Sam and Jo before doing some shopping. Bobby was so pussy-whipped. Shopping…right. Dean had no desire to tie himself down to someone who expected shit like that. No desire at all.

Dean had already done the few chores and now, the rest of the day spread out in front of him. He didn't have anything to do. Oh, he could call his friend, Charlie, and see if she wanted to ride over…maybe go for a swim in the creek near the back of Dean’s property. He chewed on his thumbnail, his eyes drawn to the guitar he’d left out last night.

With a grunt, he got up and purposefully strode past it. He let the door bang shut behind him and marched to the barn. There was always paperwork to do. In the office, he sat at his desk and reached for the mouse. A glimmer of something on the bookcase caught his eye. It was next to one of the silver cups he’d won for his prize bulls. Standing, he saw it was an iPod. Must have been left by Ben. Ben, his neighbor’s grandson, came over often to spend time with Dean. The boy’s father wasn’t in the picture and his mother, Lisa, was too busy trying to find herself a rich husband to pay attention to the kid. She’d tried to get into Dean’s bed a few times, but once he blatantly told her she didn’t have the right equipment, she’d backed off.

He picked up the small mp3 player and clicked the button. The screen lit up and Dean found Ben’s playlists. Figures the kid would like country. He sat it back down on the shelf and made a mental note to call his neighbor, Sam Campbell, and tell him to send Ben over to collect it. When he reached his chair, he paused and looked back at the small device. Pursing his lips and berating himself internally, Dean snatched it up and powered it back on. With a few swipes of his finger, he found a few of Novak’s hits. The deep, sensual voice filled his ears and he closed his eyes. Three songs in, Dean surmised that Novak had more talent than he ever did. Then again, Dean had been a lot younger. Why would someone like Novak want to sing a duet with a washed up drunk? It made no sense. Dean pulled the earbuds roughly from his ears and placed the iPod where he found it. He was being stupid. He had work to do.

Once the small pile of invoices was paid, Dean picked up Novak’s check. He’d paper-clipped it to his copy of the contract. He scrawled Novak’s address on an envelope and was ready to lick the nasty tasting strip of adhesive, but something made him stop. Growling softly, Dean left it unsealed in the middle of his desk. He found himself by the pasture where Novak’s horse grazed. A few of the sale stock ambled over to him and he rubbed their noses distractedly. Since he’d left the music industry, Dean found he loved his animals more than most people. Horses and cattle were uncomplicated. He’d tried very hard to keep his life uncomplicated and then Cas Novak showed up.

He gave a young colt a final pat and then headed to the house. He had laundry to do and meals to prepare for the week. He didn’t have time to think of the blue eyed singer.

With a couple chickens roasting and a stack of hamburgers made and in the freezer, Dean stared out the kitchen window. From there, he could make out the corner of the sale paddock. Winning Hand was grazing, her mane blowing in the warm breeze. Before he could second guess himself, he found Novak’s number and thumbed over the call icon. It was ringing. Damn it, what was it about the man?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The duet Cas "wrote" is actually a song called BRAND NEW MAN sung by Brooks & Dunn, written by Kix Brooks, Ronnie Dunn and Don Cook.
> 
> YOUR MAN, Cas' signature song was sung by Josh Turner and written by Jace Everett, Charles Christopher Dubois and Christopher Alvin Stapleton
> 
> I did a poll with a few of my loyal readers and Josh Turner was the favorite when I asked who had a deep sensual voice like Cas.


	3. Chapter 3

 

Cas was done with the tour. He was currently in the studio laying down a track for a new CD, but his heart wasn’t in it. It was a compilation of traditional Christmas songs. He was just one of several country artists to participate. When it was done, he had to work on his own music. He was staring at the words for the Twelve Days of Christmas when his phone pinged. He hadn’t saved Winchester as a contact, but he remembered the area code.

  
“Hello, Dean.”

  
“Yeah, hi. Uhm, I’ve been thinking about your horse.”

  
“Your horse. Remember, we agreed…”

  
“About that.” Cas stopped at Dean’s interruption. “What’s your schedule like for the next couple of weeks?”

  
“My schedule?” Cas knew he sounded like he didn’t have two brain cells to rub together, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why Dean needed his schedule when all he was doing was returning his check.

  
“Yeah, Novak, your schedule. You touring or what?” Dean suddenly sounded angry. Why was he angry?

  
“Why are you angry?” Never one to beat around the bush, Cas let the question fly.

  
“I’m not angry,” Dean said angrily.

  
“Apparently, I’m hallucinating then. Forgive me,” Cas said sarcastically.

  
Silence.

  
Well, just how stubborn was Dean Winchester? Cas got up and walked outside away from any listening ears. He leaned against his SUV. He heard Dean huff and a smile touched his lips. “Will you please tell me your schedule for the next two weeks?”

  
“Since you asked so nicely…I’m in the studio until the Middle of August, then I’m on tour again to plug the new CD.”

  
“Can you take some time off?”

  
“For?” Curiosity was eating Cas alive, but he’d never reveal that to Winchester. He kept his tone neutral.

  
“I have a proposition for you.” Cas couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped and he knew Dean heard it when the man sputtered, “Not that…Jeez. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  
“What a shame.” Another silence. Cas let it go until he counted to twenty-five. He really shouldn't tease the rancher, but it was fun. “What are you proposing?”

  
“You come to the ranch and learn to ride your horse and I’ll help you with the duet.” Cas grinned for a second before he replayed the entire sentence in his head. He’d only focused on the last part.

  
“I don’t want to learn to ride. And I definitely cannot keep the horse.”

  
“Those are my terms, Novak. Take ‘em or leave ‘em.” The line went dead. Just like that, Winchester hung up on him. It was becoming the norm with their conversations. Winchester will take so much before cutting Cas off. Cocky bastard.

  
Cas hurried inside and found Gabe going over paperwork with Wayne, the sound manager. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

  
“Sure, Cassiopeia.” Cas shook his head at the ridiculous nicknames his brother never ran out of. “I’ll catch you later, Wayne.”

  
Once they were in the hallway, Cas asked, “I need you to find the closest recording studio to Odessa, Texas, and book time until the end of the month. I want to finish recording the Christmas CD out there and I can start working on the new songs with some studio musicians.”

  
“Huh? Odessa? Why?” Gabe asked suspiciously.

  
“I need to be close to Dean Winchester’s ranch,” Cas said cryptically.

  
“No…no…please tell me you’ve given up on the ludicrous idea about singing your duet with that has-been.”

  
“Gabe…” Cas said with a dangerous edge.

  
“Cas, it could be career suicide. How do you even know he’ll…” Gabe stopped and slapped his forehead. “Christ Almighty, you’ve talked to him, haven’t you? Don’t let his pretty face...”

  
“Just make the arrangements, Gabe. Please, trust me on this,” Cas growled.

  
“Do I have a choice?” Gabe said, a look of resignation on his face.

  
“No.”

  
When Gabe walked away, still muttering about Cas’ stupidity, Cas took out his phone. He found Dean’s number and made him a contact. Then he began to type.

  
**Text to Dean/6:58 – Terms accepted.**

  
He pocketed his phone and went back into the studio. It wouldn’t be that difficult to change recording studios. Gabe would find some musicians to play background. Cas only had the one Christmas song for the compilation CD, and the tracks for his new one could be laid out here with the band and he could record over music. He packed up his guitar and put the sheet music into his messenger bag. He’d like to get home early tonight.

  
Cas was settling into the driver’s seat when his phone rang. He hit the hands-free button on his steering wheel. “Hello, Dean.”

  
“I got your message.” Cas put the SUV into reverse and backed out of the lot. “When are you coming?”

  
“You make sexual innuendos so much fun.”

  
“Very funny. Am I on speaker?”

  
“Hands free. I’m driving.” Cas took the road that led him past the entrance to Vanderbilt University and headed east towards the ritzy neighborhood he called home.

  
***  
“Bet your drive a Prius,” Dean said disdainfully. Hands free…who has that kind of crap. Well, Sam’s car did, but that was different.

  
“I drive a Tahoe.” A Tahoe, huh? Okay, not super douchey. And what was with the guy taking everything Dean said and making it about sex? “And to answer your question, my manager has to make arrangements so I can record in Odessa. As soon as he gets the ball rolling, I’ll fly out.”

  
Damn, he was actually coming out to Texas. The hare-brained idea wasn’t supposed to work. Now what was he going to do? “Okay.”

  
“Your enthusiasm is overwhelming.”

  
Dean wasn’t sure how to respond. He opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of root beer, popping the cap off with the opener affixed to the wall by the back door.

  
“Dean?”

  
“Yeah, I’m here.”

  
“Listen, I don’t want you to do anything you are uncomfortable with. We can pretend you didn’t ask me to come out there.” The man was giving him an out. He should take it. It was stupid and he wasn’t mentally prepared to work in the industry anymore, even if it was only to help the guy with the music.

  
“No, I’m cool. Just send me your flight info and I’ll pick you up.” Dammit, dammit, dammit. He clunked his head against the closed refrigerator door.

  
“No need. I’ll rent a car at the airport. What is the closest hotel to your ranch?”

  
“Uhm…” Dean had to think. There was a fleabag place out on 385, but most of the nicer places were on I20. “There’s a Hampton Inn about fifteen miles from the ranch. Guess that’s the only decent one close by.”

  
“Thank you. I will call when I get into town.”

  
“Yeah, sure. Bye.”

  
“Goodbye, Dean.” Damn, if the man didn’t have the sexiest freaking voice. His singing voice was great, but when he talked it was like sex…the kind of sex where you were pinned to the wall and…Dean almost dropped his root beer. That shit was all Novak’s fault…damn sexy voice making all those sexy innuendos…

  
The next day, he was riding some fence line on Jude, his big, bay gelding, when his phone belted out his ringtone, All Nightmare Long. He looked at the screen. It was Novak.

  
“Hiya, Cas.”

  
“Hello, Dean.” Dean found himself smiling at the other man’s greeting. So damn proper. “I will be flying in on Thursday.” Three days from now.

  
“What time you getting in?” Dean nudged Jude to a slow canter.

  
“My plane lands at five. I’ll come out to the ranch on Friday, if that’s okay?” So, he was going to hang out in Odessa all night by himself? Or not…Dean didn’t know if Novak had a special someone. Maybe he should have googled the singer. Not that you could believe everything on the internet, but surely the dude dated…people. It was still amazing to Dean that Novak was out as bi and still performing. Times had changed.

  
“I can meet you for dinner after you check in…Thursday.” Shit. His mouth seemed to have a mind of its own lately. Jude pranced sideways as Dean sawed on the reins. “Sorry, baby.”

  
“Baby? I’ve graduated to cute pet names now?”

  
“I was talking to my horse, Asshole.” There. That should put him in his place. Flirty bastard.

  
“Oh…" There was a long pause. "Dinner? Sounds good. I’ll call when I’ve checked into the hotel.”

  
“Sounds good. Bye.” Dean was quick to get off the call. What was it about the man that made him spew out invitations to learn to ride…have dinner…

  
Back at the barn, he unsaddled Jude and gave him a good rubdown. He was untangling some burrs from his horse’s tail when Benny strolled up. “Bobby said you were playing your guitar the other night.”

  
“Bobby needs to mind his own damn business,” Dean muttered, not looking up.

  
“Don’t be a dick. Bobby loves your ornery ass.” It only took a second for Dean to imagine Novak’s response if he were here…something about sex that would be inappropriate in mixed company.

  
“I was just fooling around, Benny. Don’t need you or Bobby reading anything into it.” He didn’t want to tell them about the duet because once Novak realized what a liability he was, the deal would be off. And he didn’t say he’d sing with Novak, only help with the song. Novak was the type of guy that would give Dean credit if the song was released though, and that's when the shit would hit the fan.

  
Dean gave Jude’s broad rump a pat and unhooked the lead. Benny opened the stall door and the horse ambled inside. Together, the two men made sure the horses all had water and hay.

  
That night, Dean fixed himself and Bobby steaks and baked potatoes. He had to tell Bobby something about Novak’s visit. He didn’t want to lie, but he wasn’t above fudging a bit on the truth. “We need to castrate a few of the bull calves, so we’ll need to get Doc Turner out here soon. Novak is flying out on Thursday to learn to ride and take care of the mare he bought. I’m taking a load of heifers to the stock sale tomorrow night, wanna come?”

  
Bobby stopped his fork halfway to his mouth. He carefully put it back on his plate. “Novak is coming here again? I thought you were just going to ship the horse to him.” Bobby hadn’t been privy to the conversations about the horse, so Dean had to get him up to speed.

  
“I was, but he wanted to give it to some charity. He said his attorney advised him against it, but he wanted to ask me about it. I told him the contract wouldn’t allow it. We went back and forth a bit, and to make a long story short…” And here was the fudged truth, “…he decided to learn to take care of her to see if he could keep her. Guess they have boarding stables in Nashville.”

  
“So, guess you’ve been talking a lot to the guy, huh?” Bobby’s gaze was unreadable and Dean realized his attempt at hiding the truth just might have made things complicated.

  
“Mostly texts…couple of emails.” Dean crammed a large hunk of rare meat into his mouth.

  
“Let me see if I got this right. Cas Novak gave you his email address and private cell number?”

  
Dean chewed, avoiding Bobby’s inquisitive eyes. When the steak finally turned to almost mush in his mouth, he had to swallow. “His cell number was on the contract. And he got my email off the paperwork. Don’t go making mountains out of molehills. It’s just ranch business, Bobby.”

  
“If you say so,” Bobby mumbled and continued eating. Dean knew he’d have to be on his toes around the older man. He was like a dog with a fuckin’ bone.

  
Thursday dawned bright and sunny. Doc Turner arrived just after nine to castrate the young bulls and run Coggins tests on the horses he had for sale. The old, black man was quick, but the noise, the smell of blood, and the strength it took to hold onto the animals wore Dean out. After all that, the testing of the horses was a walk in the park. Since he was already filthy, Dean tackled a few of the more unpleasant chores around the ranch. He and Benny mucked out the stalls and put down fresh wood shavings for the bedding. Wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow of horse shit was taken out to the edge of the fence line where it would be picked up by a composting company.

  
With an aching back, Dean pulled off his clothes, wrinkling his nose at the stench. The shower felt so good and he used the pulsing head to massage his tired shoulders. He shaved and splashed on some cologne, some of the good stuff Jo tucked in his stocking last Christmas. It wasn’t a conscious act and he didn’t realize he’d used it instead of his everyday aftershave until he was buttoning his shirt. He looked into the mirror. Why did he even shave? He’d shaved that morning. Fuck, this wasn’t a date.

 

As he walked into the living room, Bobby looked up from the couch. He whistled. “Where are you going all dressed up?”

  
“I’m not dressed up.” Okay, so he was wearing one of his better pair of jeans, a pressed white shirt, and his dress boots.

  
“Guess this means I’m on my own for dinner?” Dean felt guilty. Dinner was his responsibility, only because Bobby’s idea of cooking was opening a can of whatever and cooking it to death.

  
“Yeah, sorry. Forgot to tell you I’d made plans.”

  
“It’s Thursday. Novak was supposed to fly in today. That got anything to do with your plans?” Shit. Dean grabbed his wallet and keys off the table by the door.

  
“I’m just meeting him for dinner.” Dean escaped out the door before Bobby would interrogate him further. He walked around the side of the house and opened the garage. His baby gleamed in the fading sunlight streaming through the west facing window. He got behind the wheel and slid the key home. The motor rumbled to life and Dean felt right with the world. He didn’t get to drive her as much as he would like. She wasn’t built for ranch work. He glanced at his watch. Cas’…no…Novak’s plane should have landed about forty minutes ago. Plenty of time to get his bags and rental.

  
Dean drove straight to the hotel and parked. He took a second to check Yelp about restaurants that would be fancy enough for the likes of Cas Novak. Settling on one, he made a note of the address and got out of the car. He wasn't eager or anything, it was just there was no reason to hang out at the ranch waiting for a call. It made perfect sense.

  
Inside the lobby, he found a chair tucked in a seating arrangement near the entrance to the bar and sat down. He unrolled the latest edition of Western Horseman and started reading an article on new discoveries in equine medicine. His phone lay on his thigh.

  
He'd finished the well written piece and had moved on to the newest innovations in farriering when All Nightmare Long blared and he fumbled to answer before it disturbed anyone. “Hey.”

  
***

  
Cas tossed his bag on the king bed and started stripping off his clothes. The flight from Nashville was long and he just wanted to shower. He let the cool water run down his body and sighed contently. Dean’s comment about dinner had confused him. He knew the man was thawing somewhat, but he hadn’t expected Dean to offer to take him to dinner.

  
He dressed carefully. Black slacks, blue dress shirt and a grey blazer. He almost put on a tie, but thought better of it. This wasn’t a date. It was a business meeting. When he was dressed, he tried to tame his hair, but he’d forgotten to pack any product. He combed it with his fingers and shrugged. He’d give Dean a call and wait for him in the bar. A drink would settle his nerves.

  
“Hello, Dean. I am settled in my room and ready whenever you are. Do you want me to meet you somewhere? My rental has GPS, so if you give me the name…”

  
“I’m waiting downstairs.” He liked Dean’s rich baritone…wait…downstairs? That was interesting.

  
“I’ll be down in a minute.” Cas hung up and pocketed his phone. He tapped his booted foot while he waited for the elevator to reach his floor. When the doors slid open, he noticed a young couple leaning against the back wall. Cas smiled and, noting the first floor button was already pressed, turned to face the front.

  
“Hey, aren’t you Cas Novak?” The woman asked.

  
Cas turned and nodded. “I am.”

  
“Oh, my God, I have all your CDs. You are even more gorgeous in real life,” she gushed. The man rolled his eyes, but he touched her arm affectionately.

  
“Thank you. For buying my music and for the compliment,” Cas said, his smile remaining in place. He loved his fans…most of the time.

  
“Can I have a picture?” She was already taking her phone out of her oversized purse. The elevator doors opened and Cas glanced up, seeing Dean. The man was even more beautiful in tight fitting jeans and the white shirt. Clean shaven too.

  
“Sure.” Cas stepped off and turned back to the young woman. “Maybe over here,” he said, pointing to a brick accent wall. Her boyfriend…husband…whatever, took her phone and she snuggled close to him. He put his arm around her trim waist and smiled for the camera. Dean was watching with interest, a slight smirk on his face.

  
“Thank you so much,” she said, her voice laced with excitement as she looked to make sure the picture turned out okay. Cas knew it would be on social media within minutes. The world would know he was in Odessa, Texas, before midnight. He ran a hand through his hair. He’d wanted to keep this trip quiet. The hotel knew he was there, but they promised him it would be kept under wraps.

  
“Take it they were fans,” Dean said, gesturing for Cas to follow him. They exited the hotel.

  
“You probably had your fair share of it,” Cas responded. They were heading to the parking lot.

  
“It’s been a long time since I was accosted wherever I went. Guess dinner in public was a bad idea.” Dean stopped by a beautiful, black car. A classic…and well cared for. Cas couldn’t help but run a hand over the fender like a lover’s caress.

  
“It’ll be fine. Most fans don’t bother me when I’m obviously having a private moment.” Dean’s bark of laughter startled him and he frowned.

  
“It’s not like this is a date, dude.” Dean unlocked the driver’s side and reached over to unlock the passenger door. Cas slid into the car. The interior was just as well cared for as the exterior. He chose to ignore Dean’s comment.

  
“This is a beautiful car. What year is she?”

  
“She’s a ’67. You know cars?” Dean asked as he started the engine. The deep rumble made Cas smile.

  
Cas shook his head. “Not really. I just recognize beauty when I see it.” Cas saw the soft smile touch Dean’s lips, but the man’s eyes were focusing on the windshield. They didn’t speak again until Dean pulled up in front of a two story brick building decorated with wrought iron.

  
“Hope you like this place. It got good reviews,” Dean said, before opening his door and pocketing the keys. Cas got out and looked over the roof of the car at the other man.

  
“You’ve never been here?”

  
“Nope. I usually go for more simple places.” Cas processed what Dean said and hurried to catch up. From the back, Dean was sexy as hell. The jeans were tight on his ass and those legs…suddenly, Cas developed a kink for bowed legs.

  
“Dean…we can eat anywhere you want.” Was Dean trying to impress him? Dean walked up the steps to the second floor, where a hostess greeted them at the door.

  
“Hello, welcome to Saltgrass. Two for dinner?”

  
“Yes,” Dean responded.

  
“Dean, did you hear what I said?” Cas looked around at the dining room. It wasn’t all white tablecloths and stuffy servers, but Cas sensed it wasn’t Dean’s normal style. The place was a steakhouse, but the people sitting at the tables were well dressed – business suits and dresses.

  
Dean was ignoring him.

  
They were seated in a small alcove near the bar. The hostess handed them menus and told them their server would be with them soon. Cas left his menu on the table in front of him. Dean hid behind his. “The steaks are supposed to be pretty good.”

  
“Fine,” Cas snapped. Dean had kept him off balance from the first moment they met and Cas didn’t like it. Not one bit.

  
Their server, barely out of his teens, approached their table. “Hi, I’m Adam and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you something from the bar?”

  
“We’ll have a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon,” Dean said pleasantly, smiling up at the younger man.

  
“Yes, Sir. Right away.” He was staring at Cas, and since he wasn’t in the mood for fans, he picked up his menu and brought it up, closing himself away from the server’s eyes.

  
“He recognized you,” Dean offered, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. “See, that’s the thing I really don’t miss…the constant press of fans.”

  
“Was that why you walked away?” Cas returned the menu to the table.

  
“I walked away because I was a fuckin’ drunk. I know you did your research. I’m sure Google had a lot to say.”

  
“Was fame that hard to handle?” Cas leaned forward, his elbows on the table. He saw a small nick on Dean's chin, probably from shaving. He felt a strong pull to run his fingertip over it. No. This was business. It didn't matter how gorgeous Dean Winchester was. It was business.

  
Dean looked away, anger and pain etched into his face. “I was only twenty-two when I had my first Number One hit. I was caught between a father who wanted me to be rich and famous so he could come along for the ride, and a record label that wanted me to be the next George Strait. Wholesome, no scandals…a marketable face…I wasn’t…prepared.”

  
Cas wanted to reach over and cover Dean’s hand with his own. Just to offer comfort. He couldn’t though. Not with Dean…not in a place where everyone had a camera on their phones. The wine arrived before he could find the words he wanted to say. The server made a fanfare out of letting Dean sniff the cork. Dean wasn’t the stupid cowboy he liked to portray himself as. Cas watched as he swirled the rich, dark wine in his glass before smelling it. He took a small sip and swirled it around his tongue before swallowing. “It’s fine.”

  
Adam refilled Dean’s glass and poured some into Cas’. “Aren’t you Cas Novak?”

  
“No. I get that a lot though,” Cas lied, hoping the lack of western attire, the clean shaven face and the unruly hair would help with the fabrication.

  
“Wow, you sure look like him.” Dean was biting his lower lip to keep from smiling.

  
Once Adam left with their orders, Cas met Dean’s expressive green eyes with his own. “Fame isn’t for everyone…especially when you don’t have support from friends and family. From what I read, you didn’t have that. I was in my mid-twenties when my voice began to pay the bills. My brother and my band kept me from letting it go to my head. They still do.”

  
Dean didn’t respond. He worried his lip and Cas couldn’t help but be drawn to the movement. The buzz of conversation surrounded them, but theirs wasn’t an uncomfortable silence. “Is…was it hard to come out as bi?”

  
Cas leaned back and exhaled slowly. It wasn’t the first time he’d been asked a question like that, but he knew Dean wasn't just curious. It went deeper than that. “Yes and no. When things began to go right…the record deal…the tours…I made myself a promise I wouldn’t let it change me. I made the label aware of who I was and that I wasn’t going to hide it. Gabe, my brother…and my manager…was good. He worked with the PR people and they turned it into a positive spin. How understanding the CMA was towards the plight of the LGBT community.” Cas shrugged. “I guess it worked. It wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns though. Some of the towns in the Deep South weren’t friendly. A few disc jockeys made some nasty comments. A few rednecks tried to start some shit as a concert in Tupelo. Mostly, people have been supportive. I don’t bring my sex life on stage with me. I try to keep my private life private.”

  
“You date?”

  
“Hmmm. Define date?” Cas laughed softly. “That was rhetorical. I don’t date. In the early years, I fucked around a lot. Fans are pretty willing to drop to their knees if you’re famous enough. It got old.” Cas thought of Meg. “Lately, I just haven’t had any interest in sex for the sake of sex.”

  
“So, you want to find a nice woman and settle down? Have a bunch of kids?”

  
“Who says it has to be a woman?” Cas asked, with a quirk of his eyebrow.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean pursed his lips before answering. “I didn’t know which end of the Kinsey scale you were on."

"What about you, Dean?"

Dean straightened and felt his shoulders tighten. He took a long drink of his water. The wine sat untouched since his initial sip. Cas had refilled his glass a couple of times. At that moment in time, Dean wanted to gulp down the alcohol. He’d never been out to anyone other than his closest family members. He took a deep breath. “I’m around a four, but mostly I think I bump the five.”

  
Cas’ smile wasn’t mocking, in fact, it was warm and inviting. Dean felt his shoulders relax. “So, you’ve dabbled with women, but you prefer men in the bedroom. Let me ask you the same question then, are you looking for a nice woman to settle down with?”

  
Dean laughed softly and ran his finger up the stem of his wineglass. “No, I don’t think I’m the marrying kind.”

  
Cas tilted his head to the side and stared at Dean for a long time. Dean returned the gaze, but after a few minutes, it was unnerving. “What?”

  
“I was just thinking,” Cas said with a shrug.

  
“About what?”

  
“You’re…what…thirty-seven?”

  
“Thirty-eight,” Dean answered automatically.

  
“Still young…beautiful…obviously intelligent. A good business man…” He thinks I’m beautiful. Dean shook his head from side to side.

  
"Yeah, I’m a catch,” Dean said sarcastically. “An alcoholic who likes fucking men over women.”

  
Cas frowned at him. “How long?”

  
Dean knew what he was asking and he reached into his pocket to pull out the coin that he always carried with him. He looked at it, thumbing his finger over the raised Roman numeral. He laid it on the dark tablecloth. “Fourteen years…closer to fifteen now.”

  
Cas picked up the chip and read the words aloud. “To thine own self be true. I admire you, Dean Winchester.” Dean’s huff of laughter made Cas’ eyes narrow. “I’m serious, Dean. Remaining sober for fifteen years is something you should be proud of. You have beaten an addiction.”

  
“I just didn’t want to lose the only family I have left. Sam…Bobby…they’d leave my ass if I started drinking again.”

  
“That may have been why you got sober, but you’ve stayed sober because you are strong.”

  
“You don’t know me, Cas.” Dean couldn’t handle praise. It made him withdraw. “So, you said you got a rental. You remember the way out to the ranch?”

  
“I think I can find it.” Cas took the change of subject in stride. “What time do you want me there?”

  
“I can finish up around three. Anytime after that would be good.”

  
“That’s fine.” Dean looked at Cas and grinned. The guy was nervous.

  
“Are you scared? Don’t worry, I won’t let anything happen to you. Riding a horse is easy.” By his expression, Cas didn’t believe him.

  
“I’m not…scared,” Cas said petulantly. “I’m just not comfortable around animals bigger than me.”

  
Dean laughed and the tension that had settled over them was gone. “Uh huh.”

  
“It’s true,” Cas said with a soft smile.

  
They kept the conversation flowing while they finished eating. Dean appreciated the fact that Cas didn’t bring up anything regarding the music industry. Their topics ranged from politics to religion and just about everything in between. The server removed their plates and brought them coffee. They talked and Dean was shocked to finally look around to an almost empty dining room. He glanced at his watch. “Shit, it’s almost ten.”

  
“You going to turn into a pumpkin, Winchester?” Cas asked with a cocky grin. “Am I going to have to take one of your boots around to all the ranches searching for you?”

  
“Laugh it up, but this Cinderella gets up at five every morning.” Dean couldn’t help but laugh at Cas’ horrified expression.

  
“Five…on purpose?”

  
“I have a ranch to run. You can’t tell the animals their breakfast is late because you didn’t feel like getting out of bed.”

  
“I imagine they could get used to brunch in lieu of an early breakfast.” Cas’ face was so deadpan that Dean thought for a second he was serious, but the twinkling of his blue eyes gave it away.

  
“I’ll take it up with them in the next staff meeting.” Dean flipped open the leather folder and inserted his credit card.

  
“Dean, let me buy dinner,” Cas said, attempting to take the bill. Dean slapped his palm over it.

  
“Nope. I asked you out…out to dinner…not out…like a date,” Dean fumbled with his words and Cas gave him an amused smile.

  
“Not a date. Got it.” Cas sat back and allowed the server to collect the folder. When he returned, Dean signed the slip with a flourish and they stood. They walked to the car in companionable silence. Dean realized he liked Cas Novak. The singer wasn’t what he expected. He was smart and really down to earth. Maybe helping him out with his song wouldn’t be that bad after all.

  
***

The dinner went better than Cas expected. Dean was really funny and could converse about any topic that came up. There were a few tense moments regarding Dean’s sexuality, but Cas didn’t think it would have an impact on their working relationship. It wasn’t like they would be sleeping together, but he could definitely see Dean as a friend. Finding out Dean was a recovering alcoholic gave him a new respect for the man. All the accounts he’d read painted him as a violent drunk, but knowing Dean got help and stayed in the AA program would help him get his career going again. Cas would help him with that. He’d offer to let him open for him a few times while he got back on his feet and he’d be headlining in no time. He’d purposefully not brought up the subject of the duet or anything music related tonight and Dean really opened up.

  
The car pulled up in front of the hotel and Dean left the motor running. “Guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

  
“Yes. At three,” Cas replied and let himself out. He gave Dean a wave and shut the door. Dean waited until he was at the door into the lobby before pulling away. With a small smile touching his lips, he rode the elevator up to his room.

  
Used to staying up late, Cas got undressed and settled against the headboard to watch some television. He didn’t follow any programs, but liked an occasional movie. After flipping through some of the channels and being unable to settle on anything, he turned to pay-per-view hoping to find a decent one. There were a few newer films that didn’t catch his attention and then there was the porn that you could purchase. He rolled his eyes. He hadn’t watched a skin flick since he was in his early twenties. He could have the real thing, so why would he want to watch…wait… His fingers paused on the remote control. The actor on the screen looked like Dean. His name was Gabriel Clark and he was starring in a movie called An Angel Gets Dirty. Who names these things?

  
Cas quickly entered his credit card information. The film started with horrible background music and the acting definitely wasn’t Oscar material, but damn, the man was stunning. His partner was dressed in a white thong and had snowy, strap-on wings, but Cas wasn’t interested in him. The other man, Dean’s almost twin, was wearing jeans and a plaid shirt. As in most porn movies, the plot was questionable at best. The jist of this one seemed to be about a man who hunted supernatural creatures and he stabbed the angel. Of course, the angel couldn’t be killed with a knife, no matter how powerful. Now, the two were gazing into each other’s eyes and the hunter slash Dean's twin was stripping out of his clothes. Cas’ own cock was lengthening and his mouth stopped making saliva.

When Dean’s double hit his knees, Cas’ hand wrapped around his cock. His eyes were glued to the screen as the actor deep throated the angel. The bad soundtrack covered the sound of Cas’ hand moving up and down his shaft, his arousal making it slick. The angel gripped the twin’s hair and pulled him to his feet. The camera went to an extreme close-up and Dean’s…no…his twin’s lips were slick with spit and God…Cas squeezed his balls and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them again, the angel had the hunter against the wall, legs spread as he was fingering him open. Cas swallowed. His dry mouth was suddenly flooded with spit. There was a cut in the film and the angel, properly suited up in a condom, was fucking the hell out of the Dean twin. Cas felt his balls tightening and he groaned, “Close…close…ah…ah…ah…” Hot cum splashed over his belly and heaving chest.

  
“Fuck me…Angel…yes, yes…” Cas couldn’t look away, even though he was sated. The Dean lookalike had his palms flat out on the wall, a look of rapture on his face. The force of the angel’s thrusts had him up on his toes.

  
By the time both men had achieved their release, the cum on Cas’ torso was uncomfortably cool. He turned off the television and got up. He used a washcloth to clean himself up and returned to the bed. Still not overly tired, he checked the time on his phone and called his brother.

  
“Casticle, I was just about to call you.”

  
Ignoring the absurd nickname, Cas said, “Have you set up the studio time yet?”

  
“And salutations to you too, dear brother.” Cas didn’t respond and he heard Gabe’s exaggerated sigh. “Yes, I’ll email you the schedule. You’ve got about thirty hours over the next ten days. What are you going to do with your off time? Only thing in Texas is steers and queers. Oh, wait, you’re okay with that last one.” Cas rolled his eyes.

  
“They call it off time for a reason, Gabriel. I’m going to relax.”

  
“Is that what they’re calling it these days? I know you, baby brother. You have a thing for Winchester. It’s like when you were a kid, always bringing home strays.” Gabe’s words hit close to home. Maybe he did see himself as Dean’s savior.

  
“Send the schedule. I’ll call if I need anything,” Cas lowered the phone, thumb poised over the end icon.

  
“Wait…” But the call was ended. Cas tossed the phone on the colorful bedspread and clasped his fingers behind his head. Dean had so much talent and Cas wanted to see him sing again. Was that so wrong? He was still debating it in his head when he fell asleep.

  
When he woke at ten-thirty, he turned on the television for some noise and quickly showered and dressed. He had several hours to kill before he needed to be at the ranch, so he looked up the address for the studio Gabe booked for him and drove over.

  
The manager, a long haired man named Floyd, opened the door for him. “Hello. If it wouldn’t cause any problems, I’d like to look around before I’m scheduled to come in.”

  
“Well, sure, Mr. Novak. No one is working today, so you can look around all you want.”

  
Floyd gave him a tour of the small studio and while it wasn’t as nice as the one he used in Nashville, it was workable.

  
The tour killed an hour and a half. Lunch was next on his agenda. He found a small restaurant and got a salad. With his sunglasses and baseball hat, most people would be hard pressed to recognize him. While he ate, he checked Twitter and Facebook. He didn’t post much, but he kept up with what others said. It was already out that he was in Odessa. There was speculation, but none were even close. He chuckled at some of the ‘reports’. He was meeting the mother of his love child. He was in drug rehab. He was marrying his secret lover who happened to be his guitarist, Luc. That was laughable. Luc was married with four kids.

  
When he was finished with lunch, he glanced at his phone. He still had almost two hours to kill. He looked down at his clothes. When he wasn’t ‘on’, he wore jeans and either t-shirts or button-downs, depending on the weather. Today, he was wearing a vee-necked tee and a loose-fitting overshirt. He had his running shoes on. Even he knew you didn’t ride horses in those. He’d brought a pair of boots and a hat because he knew Gabe would schedule a few interviews while he was in Odessa, but he’d look like a wannabe next to Dean. Using his phone, he brought up the name of a local Western shop.

  
He purposely picked one that sold saddles and horse supplies because he needed the real stuff, and others might be tailored towards tourists. Using his GPS to find the store, he parked and exited the car with his baseball cap and aviators still in place. Even with the sunglasses, the shop was lit brightly enough to be able to see. Rows and rows of cowboy attire cluttered every inch of floor space to the left of the place. The right held racks of saddles and shelves of medications, grooming supplies and anything else a horse owner would need.

  
A cute blonde approached, awarding him a warm smile. “Hi, I’m Taylor, can I help you find anything?” Cas returned her smile and her eyes widened. “Crap…shit…you’re him. Oh my God, I’m so sorry.” Her face turned an adorable shade of pink and Cas chuckled.

  
“It’s okay, I say shit all the time too.” He pointed to the boots lined up neatly. “I need a pair of riding boots.”

  
“Sure…I’ll just go get Melanie, she’s our…boot expert.” She skittered away, looking back over her shoulder a few times to make sure he stayed put. He browsed a selection of Wranglers and found his size. He had plenty of jeans, but he imagined he’d need some for riding.

  
A pretty brunette wearing glasses walked towards him from somewhere in the back of the store. “Mr. Novak…I’m Melanie.” She held out her hand and he shook it. “I’m a fan.”

  
“Thank you. I like meeting people who like my songs.” She led him to the rows of boots, the blonde trailing behind, awestruck.

  
“What type of boot are you looking for?”

  
“Just a riding boot. Nothing fancy.”

  
“Size?” Cas told her his size and watched as the young woman pulled a few boots off the rack, and then motioned for him to sit down on a bench. He toed off his running shoes and eyed the selection she’d given him. He picked up a plain brown one and pulled it on. “That’s a riding heel.” She pointed to another. “That’s a roping heel. Are you wanting a working boot?” Cas blinked up at her. He had no idea what she was talking about.

  
“I just want a boot to ride in…not…I don’t think I’m going on a roundup.” The blonde, Taylor, giggled. Melanie was trying her best to keep a straight face. Cas decided to be honest with the two women. “I’m taking riding lessons.”

  
“You definitely want to stick with a riding heel then.” She put a few boots back on the shelves, leaving the one on his right foot and two others.

  
“This one fits fine,” Cas said, standing.

  
“Great, I’ll get you the other one and you can walk in them.” A few minutes later, Cas was walking up and down the tight aisles in the boots.

  
“Okay, I’ll take these and those.” He pointed to the pile of jeans he’d placed next to the cash register. Melanie began to ring up his purchases while he fished out his wallet.

  
“Which stable are you taking your lessons at?” Taylor asked, slowly overcoming her shyness.

  
“I…uhm…a friend is teaching me.” Before he left, he let the two take selfies with him. The news was out he was in Texas anyway and the girls had been really sweet.

  
***

  
Dean had Winning Hand and Jude saddled by quarter of three. Benny and Bobby gave him some good natured ribbing about his plans to teach Cas to ride, but he noticed both men had cleared out to give them some privacy.

  
He led the two horses to the corral and wrapped the reins around the rails. He glanced up as a dark sedan kicked up dust coming down the driveway. He pushed his hat back and waited until Cas stopped the car and got out. He was wearing jeans, a blue t-shirt and a gray overshirt. The baseball cap and aviators were a nice touch, Dean thought, knowing Cas was wearing them to hide his identity. The boots looked new, but Dean was pleased they were riding boots and not a pair of dress boots that cost several hundred dollars. “Afternoon, Cas.”

  
“Hello, Dean.” The singer was eyeing the horse with trepidation.

  
“This is Jude, he’s mine. And you should know Winning Hand. You’ll want to come up with something to call her.”

  
“What’s wrong with Winning Hand?” Cas was still several yards away and not willing to come closer. Dean grinned.

  
“Well, it’s a mouthful. You want a name that rolls off your tongue.” As if testing it, Cas licked his lips and Dean couldn’t help but track the movement. He quickly turned away. “Jude’s registered name is Winchester’s Tijuana Brass.”

  
At his quizzical look, Dean explained. "Each foaling season, I use a theme to name my foals. Tijuana Brass, Top Shelf, Funky Butt, all brass bands. With this one..." he said, running his hands over the chestnut’s broad rump, "...there was Winning Hand, Full House, Five Card Draw…poker terms.” Cas was nodding his understanding.

  
“What do we do first?”

  
Dean nodded towards the mare. “Let’s get you in the saddle.” Dean took the reins and led the horse towards Cas. He saw Cas take a step back and stopped. “Cas, I won’t let anything happen to you. Why don’t you get to know her first?” He held out the reins and Cas gingerly took them. Winning Hand took a step toward him and snuffled against his shirt. “She’s looking for a treat.”

  
Dean reached in his pocket and pulled out a chunk of carrot. “Hold your hand out flat like this.” Dean showed Cas how it was done and he put the carrot on Cas’ outstretched hand. “It’s going to feel weird at first, but she won’t bite you.” He guided Cas’ arm and soon the mare took the carrot gently from Cas’ palm. “See, not so bad, huh?”

  
“She was gentle.”

  
“Yeah. I start working with the foals when they are young. I don’t tolerate biting and kicking.” Dean watched, holding his breath, as Cas put his palm against the mare’s nose. Winning Hand shifted and pushed against him. Cas was startled and then laughed. “Come on, let’s get you up.”

  
“It wouldn’t take much,” Cas said with a wink.

  
Dean chuckled and shook his head, “You’re ridiculous.”

  
It took a few tries, but Cas was finally in the saddle looking down at him. The other man's ass fit nice and tight. Dean scraped his teeth over his lip and looked away.“Alright, I’m going to attach a lead rope and mount Jude, then we’ll walk around the ring. Sit tight.” A look of panic crossed Cas’ face when Dean stepped away, but he stayed still.

  
Dean mounted Jude and snapped a lead onto the mare’s bridle. He nudged his horse’s flank with his heels and he heard a surprised gasp behind him as they started walking. “We’re just walking, Cas. Don’t panic.”

  
“Easy for you to say,” came the grumbled reply. Dean couldn’t help laughing softly. He walked them around the ring a few times and then stopped, looking behind him.

  
“You doing okay?” Cas’ posture was a bit more relaxed than it had been, but his hands still clutched the saddle horn. Cas nodded curtly, his eyes shielded by the sunglasses. “Cas, you gotta let go of the saddle, man. Just hold onto the reins like I showed you and let your left hand rest by your side. Winning Hand is a reining horse, any pressure will turn her in the direction you want to go. Dean demonstrated on Jude. Cas watched with rapt attention.

  
Thirty minutes later, Cas was walking by himself with Dean beside him giving him instructions and praise. “You’re doing great, Cas. Let’s head for the gate. I think you’ve had enough for today.”

  
Dean was impressed when Cas wanted to learn to unsaddle his horse and groom her. He left him in a stall with Winning Hand while he took Jude to his stall. He heard whispering and stopped brushing out Jude’s mane to listen.

  
“You’re a pretty girl. But I’m sure my ass will hurt tomorrow…and not in a good way.” Dean had to cover his mouth so his snicker wouldn’t be heard. “What do you think about Dolly? She’s always been my favorite singer. No? Okay, well, what about Lady?” Dean heard soft laughter. “You get it? Winning Hand…Poker Face…Lady Gaga. Hey, don’t look at me like that.”

  
Dean closed the stall behind him and walked to Cas. The singer was still brushing the mare with a curry comb, but looked up when Dean appeared at the stall door. “Are you almost done?”

  
“I think so,” Cas said, but didn’t look convinced. Dean let himself in the stall and ran his hands over the mare’s coat. Her mane and tail had been combed and she shone.

  
“Good job. Normally, this barn is reserved for family horses, but we are going to keep Winning Hand in here for now, since you’ll be learning to ride her. Got a name yet?” Dean wasn’t about to tell Cas he’d heard his conversation with the horse.

  
“I thought of Dolly or Lady, but she doesn’t seem to like either one.”

  
“Cas, you call her what you want. She’ll learn her name…and for the record…I don’t think she cares.”

  
He showed Cas where he stowed the tack and grooming supplies, and then stepped out into the afternoon sun. “I guess I should get back to the hotel. Thanks for the lesson, Dean.”

  
“You’re welcome. Same time tomorrow? Or you can come earlier. We don’t do much on Saturdays. I can have most of the chores done by noon.”

  
“Noon would be fine. Starting Monday, I’ll be in the Studio all day. I’ve got it booked until five every day next week.”

  
“We can do your lessons at five-thirty. It’s not dark until eight.”

  
“When do you want to get together to work on the song?” Cas asked nonchalantly. Dean wasn’t fooled.

  
“I ain’t got nothing planned for tonight.”

  
“Oh…okay, I’ll just run back to the hotel and shower. Do you want me to grab something for dinner?”

  
“No, I got dinner covered.” He’d gone and done it again. Letting his mouth engage before his brain could catch up. It was Friday night. Bobby would be going to The Roadhouse. It would be just him and Cas. Shit.

  
“I’ll see you in a little while then,” Cas said with a wave.

  
Dean watched the car until it reached the end of the driveway and disappeared. “I’m so fucked.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

As Cas showered and changed, he realized he was actually thinking of Dean as a friend. A sexy as fuck friend, but a friend nonetheless. He was smiling the entire time he dressed. As he was zipping up his ankle boots, it dawned on him that this was the happiest he'd been in years.

He pondered that notion on the ride back to Dean's ranch. He had friends. Gabe...his band...the roadies...Balthazar...he counted them all as friends. But who did he have that he could confide in? Gabe was his brother, but he didn't tell him everything. Not that he'd told Dean anything overly personal, but he was convinced Dean wouldn't tell a soul if Cas did decide to tell him a dark, personal secret. God, his life was boring. He didn't even have anything dark to share.

Pulling the car up to the house, Cas got out. Dean's house fit him. It was a lovingly renovated farm house with a tin roof. The porch wrapped around it. The only thing missing was a swing. Cas could imagine rocking gently talking about his day with Dean. Frowning, Cas pushed those thoughts aside. That scenario was a little too domestic.

Cas knocked and heard the sound of booted feet on hardwood floors. Expecting Dean, Cas was taken aback by the older man standing in the open doorway, his 'Hello, Dean' lost on his lips. "Hi. I'm Bobby, Dean's godfather."

"Hello, I'm Cas Novak," Cas said, holding out his hand to shake. The other man had a firm handshake.

"Well, duh. You'd have to live under a rock to not know who you are." He stood aside. "Come on in or you'll let half the mosquitos in Texas in the house. Cas, feeling reprimanded, hurried inside. "Dean's in the kitchen." He pointed his thumb to a well lit room off the living room. "I'll leave you two boys to your dinner. Nice meeting you, boy. Hope to see you again soon." Cas watched the door close behind the man.

Cas took a moment to look around the living room. The walls were painted a warm sage green and there was a stone fireplace at one end of the room. The furniture was brown leather and looked worn. Cas smiled at the coffee table. It had seen a lot of booted feet.

"It's not much, but it's home," Dean said from the doorway to the kitchen. He was drying his hands on a towel.

"It's warm and inviting, Dean. I like it." Cas meant it. His living room was almost sterile compared to this one. Dean's smile was just as welcoming as the room.

"Come in here. I'm almost done." Cas followed him into a gorgeous kitchen. He instantly knew Dean spent a lot of time in here. No expense was spared from the professional stove to the custom cabinetry. "I hope you like salmon. I've got a couple of fillets in the oven. And I'll be finishing them with a butter lime sauce."

Cas lifted an eyebrow. "Show off," he said with a smile. Dean caught it and smiled back. There was a long farmhouse table to one side of the kitchen, but two plates were set at the island. "Can I do anything to help?"

"You can fix our drinks. I want root beer. It's in the fridge." Dean motioned towards the large, stainless steel appliance. "I have sweet tea too and there are some Cokes in the pantry, if you'd rather have one of those. Sorry, I don't keep alcohol in the house."

"Root beer would be good. You never need to apologize about the lack of alcohol, Dean." Cas couldn't remember the last time he'd had a root beer. He opened the fridge and got two of the amber bottles out. He spied an antique bottle opener affixed to the wall by the back door and used it to pop off the caps, and then positioned himself so he could watch Dean without being in the way. Dean was impressive as he tossed a sauté pan with fresh green beans.

Dean was in his element. He plated the fish like a professional chef and added a couple fresh wedges of lime to their plates. He finished it off with green beans and steaming scalloped potatoes he pulled from the oven. "This looks amazing, Dean." Cas was entranced by the tinge of pink that colored Dean's face.

They sat down on bar stools and Dean didn't stand on ceremony. He dug right into his meal. Every time his elbow would brush Cas', it sent a little current of electricity through him. "Bobby introduced himself as your godfather. He seems like quite a character."

"Yeah, Bobby pretty much raised me and Sam. He's the one who taught me to play baseball and paid for my guitar lessons. I couldn't have made it through all that shit with the drinking without him."

Cas didn't want to bring up Dean's father, knowing it would be a sore subject. It sounded like Bobby was more of a father to Dean anyway. They ate in companionable silence for a while. Cas finally laid his fork down and rubbed his stomach. "You could open a restaurant, Dean."

Dean laughed softly. "Nah, it's just a hobby. Hope you saved room for pie," he said, getting up with their plates. Cas made a move to help, but Dean waved him down. "Nope, I got it."

"How did you have time to make a pie? I wasn't gone that long." Dean was making quick work of loading the dishwasher.

"I made it the other night. We're lucky Benny didn't find it."

"Benny is your employee, right?" Dean opened the fridge and took out an aluminum foil wrapped dish.

"He's more of a friend that I pay to help me out around here." Cas observed Dean slice two pieces of pie and place them on small plates. He slid one over to Cas while he leaned on the other side of the island. "I've known Benny a long time. We met in..." Dean stopped, changing the subject as he watched Castiel put the first morsel into his mouth. "What do you think?"

Cas understood what Dean wasn't saying. He would venture to guess Benny was in rehab or AA with Dean. "It's good." The blueberries were a mixture of sweet and tart. The crust was flaky and tender.

"I love me some pie," Dean said, mouth full of the purple fruit.

After the last of the dishes were in the dishwasher, Dean led the way into the living room. Cas had laid his messenger bag and guitar case on the sofa when he'd arrived. Dean picked up his guitar and they sat side by side on the couch. Dean pulled out a few pages of sheet music and Cas recognized his song. The same notations were around the edges.

For the next hour, they picked out notes and changed the music. "What do you think about the words? Any changes there?"

"No. The lyrics are great, Cas. I wouldn't change a thing...the increased tempo in the chorus will make it flow better."

"When we record it, I thought you'd take every other verse and harmonize at the chorus." Cas was looking down at the sheets spread on the coffee table, but still noticed Dean's intake of breath. He looked up and Dean met his eyes.

"I thought you understood. I said I'd help you with the song. I never said anything about recording it with you, Cas. I can't."

"Dean, this song is as much yours as it is mine. You helped to write the music. What I started out with wasn't good enough. This..." Cas pointed to the music. "...is perfect. You have to sing it with me," Cas implored.

"Not going to happen, Cas." Dean's tone darkened and he leaned his guitar against the couch. He stood up and began to gather their notes. He stuffed them back in the folder Cas brought with him.

"Dean, you can do this," Cas exclaimed.

"Cas, stop. You don't get it. I don't want to do it," Dean shouted. "All I have are shitty memories of that time in my life. I won't go through that again."

Cas wanted to argue, but he knew when to back off. He placed his guitar in its case, locking the clasps, and then picked up the folder and put it into his bag. Putting the strap over his shoulder he nodded to Dean. "I'll see you later, Dean." Only, he knew he wouldn't. How had he misunderstood Dean's offer to help with the song?

Dean didn't walk him out. Cas closed the car door and started the engine. As he drove by the barns, he realized he wouldn't be seeing his horse again either. It wasn't that he was attached to the animal or anything. It was just unfinished business and Cas hated unfinished business.

***

Long after Cas left, Dean paced the house. For the first time in years, he wanted a drink. He picked up his phone from the kitchen counter and dialed Benny.

"Hey, brother."

"I want a drink," Dean said, his voice rushed.

"Okay." Benny was not just an employee. He was Dean's sponsor. They met after Dean got out of rehab. The rodeo cowboy told his story on Dean's first visit to an AA meeting. He'd gotten on a bull while drunk. It took him six months of physical therapy to be able to get back on a horse, but his rodeo career was over. "Can you tell me why?"

"Cas..." Dean started, before remembering Benny didn't know the whole story. "Cas wrote a song and...and he wanted me to help him with it. It was a duet. I said I'd help with it if he learned to ride the horse he bought. He thought I meant I'd sing it with him. And you know I can't do that." Dean paused and waited for Benny's words of wisdom.

"Can't? I haven't heard you use that word in a long time, Dean."

"Benny, just...talk me down." Dean walked outside and headed for the barns.

"I take it there ain't any booze in the house."

"No, of course not." If anyone brought beer or wine over for dinner, they knew to take it home with them. Dean wasn't tempted, not after fifteen years, but he also didn't like playing with fire.

"Why do you feel like having a drink now? It's been...what...about six years since you felt the itch for a drink?"

Dean remembered the last time he needed Benny to talk him off the ledge. Six years, four months ago. It would have been his mother's fifty-eighth birthday and he'd lost one of his horses after a stupid kid thought it would be funny to shoot it with a paintball gun. The young horse panicked and hit the fence at a full gallop. The lacerations from the fence were bad, but the front leg was shattered. Dean had to shoot the horse. "Yeah."

"Did you and Cas Novak have a fight?" Benny's deep voice felt soothing over the phone. Dean leaned against the side of the barn. He could hear the horses inside settling down for the night.

"No. Not a fight. I just disappointed him," Dean murmured, pinching the bridge of his nose. Why did it matter that he disappointed the singer?

"His opinion matters to you?"

"Well, yeah. He's a nice guy," Dean said defensively.

"A nice guy who just happens to like men and also happens to be a hunk." Dean rolled his eyes.

"No one uses the terms hunk anymore, Benny. Except maybe straight men like you. And him being gorgeous and bi doesn't matter to me."

"Liar."

"Shut up," Dean growled.

"You need me to come over?"

"No. I'm okay now. I just needed...you know."

"Dean, you aren't the same man you were fifteen years ago. Your father ain't running the show. Think about why you don't want to perform anymore. And I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow night." Dean knew he'd need to go to one of the AA meetings. He hadn't been in awhile because he hadn't had the urge to drink in years.

"Yeah, I'll be there. See you then." Dean put the phone in his pocket and walked through the barn, stopping to pet the noses of the horses that greeted him. Jude craned his neck over the stall door and nipped at his shirt. "Stop it, you spoiled shit," Dean said, laughing. He scratched the horse between his ears and his eyes moved to the stall across the aisle. Winning Hand was looking at him, her blaze bright in the dim lights of the barn. "Hey, girl." The liquid brown eyes gazed back at him. He thought back to the way Cas talked to the mare when he thought no one was listening. As he turned to go back inside, he wondered if Cas would show up tomorrow.

When reading didn't help him fall asleep, he went downstairs to watch television. Half of the crime drama was over before he realized he hadn't been paying attention. Frustrated, he flipped off the TV and went into the kitchen. He pulled out all the ingredients for peanut butter cookies. He was creaming in the flour when the back door opened and Bobby strode into the kitchen. "Kind of late to be cooking, isn't it?"

"Couldn't sleep." Dean turned to preheat the oven. "You're home awfully late. Have a good time?"

"I did. And it ain't _that_ late." Dean looked at the clock on the stove. It was barely past nine. No wonder he hadn't been able to sleep. It had nothing to do with Cas. Nothing at all.

Bobby dipped his finger into the thick batter and brought a glob of it to his mouth. Dean smacked his hand with a wooden spoon. "Stop it. Christ, old man, can't you wait until they're baked?"

"Huh, like you don't lick the bowl...I expected Novak to still be here."

"I doubt he'll be back," Dean said sullenly. Bobby looked at him sharply.

"What happened?"

"Nothing..." Bobby's disbelieving look took Dean back to his teenage years when he'd brought bad grades home to the older man. John could not have cared less about Dean during his high school years. He was chasing pussy and drinking heavily, leaving Dean and Sam alone most of the time. "We had a misunderstanding." Dean explained everything while he put the rounds of dough onto a cookie sheet. Bobby remained silent until Dean got to the part about Cas leaving.

"What are you afraid of, boy?" Dean let the oven door close with a bang.

"Afraid? I'm not afraid of anything, Bobby." Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Idgit," Bobby muttered. "I'm going to my room." Dean knew that Bobby liked to read at night and he watched him go. He wasn't afraid...

The cookies were cooled and sealed away in a plastic container, and still Dean was antsy. He'd picked up his phone several times and even got to the blank text section with Cas' name in the recipient's space, but he couldn't make himself type anything. What would he say? To avoid the temptation, Dean turned it off and left it on the kitchen counter before heading up to bed.

Sunday mornings were the only time Dean let himself sleep in. Sleeping in for him was about seven. The sun was up and he could hear the birds in the tree outside his window. He lay on his back staring at his ceiling. The fan turned lazily. Finally, he stretched and sat up. He'd shower later. First, he'd go do his morning chores and then fix a late breakfast. He'd thought about having Sam and Jo come out to the ranch for an afternoon ride and some hamburgers on the grill, but now, he had an AA meeting to attend.

Dean let the horses out, checked all the stock tanks, and checked the oil in both the Impala and the truck. Bobby was in the kitchen drinking coffee when Dean came in, toeing off his boots by the back door. Bobby poured him a cup and shoved it towards him. Thankfully, Dean reached for it and took a sip. He sighed. Nothing beat a cup of Bobby's dark roast in the mornings. "What do you have planned for the day?"

"Thinking about calling Charlie to see if she wants to go swimming." Dean spied his phone where he left it and turned it back on.

"What about Novak's riding lesson?" Dean should never have told Bobby about the damn lessons. His phone began to buzz repeatedly as text after text came in. Shit, they were all from Cas.

"Not sure," Dean said distractedly. He scrolled up until he got to the first one sent last night.

Bobby grunted, his mouth hidden by his mug. "Who is blowing up your phone?"

"Nobody," Dean replied as he began to read. He was aware of Bobby saying something about doing laundry, but he tuned him out. He began to laugh.

***

Cas woke in a foul mood. He'd gotten back from the ranch and wound up in the hotel's bar. His first reaction was to get drunk, but after the first few beers, he'd lost interest. Several people at the bar recognized him and he'd hung out with them until he could make a good excuse to go to his room. It was still early and he looked at the bed longingly. It had been a long time since someone shared a bed with him. Now that his brief friendship with Dean was over, he could allow himself to think about the 'what ifs'. There was a part of him that wished things could have been different. If they would have progressed to a professional relationship, sex wouldn't have happened anyway, and now, he wasn't even going have Dean as a friend.

He rummaged through his luggage until he found the bottle of Ambien his doctor had prescribed a few months back when he wasn't sleeping. He'd only taken one because it made him loopy. He shook one out of the bottle and swallowed it dry. Knowing the pill would knock him out quickly, he stripped down to his boxers and slid under the stiff sheets. He plugged the cord into his phone and stared at it for a few minutes. He should tell Dean...should tell him...he squinted at the phone. What was he going to tell Dean?

The sun streamed into the hotel window and Cas groaned. He covered his head with the pillow and felt his hand tangle with something. Opening one eye, he found his phone cord wrapped around his wrist. He followed it to his phone which was pressed under his ribs. As he reached for it, it pinged with an incoming text.

**Text from Dean/8:43 – Drink much?**

Cas narrowed his eyes. What was Dean...shit...shit... Cas read the text before that. It was from him.

**Text to Dean/12:04 – Why aren't you using your ears?**

He winced and scrolled to the first one he'd sent last night. He was going to throw that damn bottle of pills away. Preparing to be humiliated, he began to read.

**Text to Dean/10:10 – Sleepy**

**Text to Dean/10:11 – Are you wakey ;)**

**Text to Dean/10:12 – I like guinea pigs**

**Text to Dean/10:13 – Did you know you have freckles they are fascinating :D**

**Text to Dean/11:21 – are you mad at me**

**Text to Dean/11:22 – sing me to sleep :)**

**Text to Dean/12:02 – are you there**

**Text to Dean/12:03 – are you there :(**

And then there was the last one. He'd made a fool out of himself. Add it to the fiasco that happened at the ranch and Dean probably thought he was a psycho. A psycho that didn't use punctuation and had a thing for emojis. No wonder Dean thought he was drunk. Cas tossed his phone to the mattress and rubbed his face with both hands.

Taking a deep breath, he got up and decided to ignore it all. It was Sunday and the studio would be closed. The ranch was off limits. He was stuck in Texas with nothing to do. It had been a mistake to come here.

He flipped through the hotel's pamphlet and realized they didn't have room service. Growling, he knew if he wanted to eat, he had to get dressed.  His phone pinged again. He eyed it suspiciously, but picked it up.

**Text from Dean/9:02 – When you get your hungover ass out of bed, call me.**

Cas counted to ten and dialed Dean's number. It rang twice before Dean picked up. "Hi."

"I'm not hungover because I was not drunk last night." Cas knew his tone was brisk, but he needed Dean to know he didn't drink himself into a stupor because things didn't go his way last night.

"So, what? You were high?" Cas heard the disappointment in Dean's voice.

"No...yes...but it isn't what you think." Cas crashed back on the bed, staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers.

"What do I think, Cas?"

"You think I do drugs."

"Do you? Because if you do, then we can't be friends. I left all that shit behind a long time ago, Cas." Friends. Did Dean still want to be his friend? He sat up quickly.

"I have a prescription for Ambien because sometimes I can't sleep. I took one last night and I should have known better because it makes me do things...like text people absurd messages."

"Ambien, huh? I had a few experiences with that shit myself." There was a silence between them for a few moments that Cas didn't find uncomfortable. In fact, he was smiling. Dean still wanted to be friends.

"Dean..."

"Cas, about last...you go ahead."

"I'm sorry about the misunderstanding. I guess I wanted it so badly that I didn't really listen to what you were saying."

"Clean slate?"

"Sure." Cas wondered what Dean meant by that. He stood and began to pace the confines of the room.

"Come on out to the ranch. You have another lesson today."

"Give me thirty minutes," Cas said, grinning. He set the phone on the nightstand and sprinted to the shower. Not bothering to shave, he was out the door ten minutes later.

As he neared the ranch buildings, he saw Dean standing at the door of the barn where they'd put Winning Hand yesterday. He put the car in park and got out. Dean was in his usual jeans, a t-shirt and his battered hat was pushed back. "Hello, Dean."

"Ready to ride?"

"Always," Cas said with a wink. Dean rolled his eyes and headed into the barn. He handed Cas a nylon strap with a clasp on the end.

"Get your horse out of her stall and take her out to the hitching post." Having no idea what a hitching post was, Cas walked to the stall and Winning Hand stuck her head over the door. She made a sound and Cas looked up at Dean, who stood watching. "That sound is called a nicker and it means she likes you. She's saying hi."

"Oh...well, hi there, Miss Gaga." Cas snapped the clip onto the ring of the nylon halter.

"You are not calling her Miss Gaga," Dean muttered behind him.

"She's mine and I'll call her what I want," Cas replied, opening the stall door. The mare walked out and started down the aisle, all but dragging Cas with her. "Whoa...whoa..."

Dean's hand covered his on the lead and pulled the horse to a stop. "You have to show her you're the boss, Cas, or else, she'll walk all over you. Hold her tight now. She might be stronger than you, but you have the lead." When Dean let go, Cas held tight and led her out of the barn. There were two saddles on a short fence next to the door and Cas assumed that's where he was supposed to be. Dean and his horse joined them a few seconds later. "You're going to learn to saddle your horse today."

It took about fifteen minutes, but Cas finally got his girth tight enough for Dean's satisfaction. Dean showed him how to bridle the mare and then they both mounted. "Let's stop at the house first." Dean led the way and Cas followed. When they reached Dean's porch, Dean dismounted and handed Cas his reins. "Stay put and I'll be right back."

"But..." Cas gestured wildly. Dean was leaving him alone. On a horse. Without him. "What if she stampedes?"

Dean raised a sardonic brow and huffed out a breath. "You have watched too many old Westerns. Just sit there." Dean went inside. Cas was afraid to move. Gaga leaned her head down and snatched up a mouthful of grass and he almost lost his balance.

"Come on, Dean," he mumbled softly. The door banged open and Dean came out with a backpack.

"Guess there weren't any stampedes while I was gone." He mounted his horse in one fluid motion.

"Asshole." Dean laughed, hung the backpack to the saddle horn and clicked his tongue. They set off towards a stand of trees in the distance. "Where are we going? Aren't we going to ride in the fence?"

"Nope." Dean kept going. Cas tried to make Gaga catch up, but she was happy to amble along, stopping occasionally to grab another mouthful of grass. Dean was at the tree line when he finally turned around and yelled back, "Hurry up, Cas."

"I've only had one lesson," Cas shouted back and then tried the clicking thing that Dean did. Gaga's ears twitched and she broke into a trot. Cas grabbed the horn and held on for dear life. "Dean...Dean..."

Only Dean was laughing at him. As they neared him, he called out. "Pull back on the reins a little." Cas was trying to remember everything Dean had taught him the day before. He leaned back on the reins and Gaga slowed down to a walk.

"You are a complete assbutt," Cas shouted, flustered at his brief, but wild ride.

 "Assbutt. Great insult, Cas. Don't pout. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

 


	6. Chapter 6

When Winning Hand, he refused to call her Gaga, sped up and he saw the Cas holding on for dear life, he almost sped Jude towards them, ready to grab the horse and slow her down. Cas had held his own though and Dean was proud of him.

  
He sensed that Cas wasn’t angry at him for teasing him, and with a wink, Dean turned Jude towards the trail. The creek was just around the other side of the stand of pines. It ran though his and Charlie’s family’s property to the west of them. At its widest point, here on Dean’s ranch, it was about six feet deep. He stopped Jude at the bank and dismounted. “This is it.”

  
“Is this river part of your property?” Cas asked, getting off his mare gingerly.

  
“It’s a creek, Cas. Rivers are a might bigger. And yeah, this is my western border. The Bradbury’s ranch is just around that bend.” Dean pointed and Cas followed his finger.

  
“What about across the creek?” Cas waved to the scrub brush and sweetgrass on the other bank.

  
“That belongs to the Braedon’s. Well, their property line is actually about fifty yards back away from the creek. The water rights belong to me and the Bradbury’s, but we allow several ranches in the area to use it during times of drought. Cas nodded and bent to pick up a round stone. He rubbed it with his thumb and Dean was surprised when he put it in his pocket.

  
Dean got the backpack down and pulled out the towels he brought. “Heads up,” he called to Cas and tossed a bottle of sunscreen at him. Cas caught it with one hand. He looked at it and then back at Dean.

  
“Thanks?” He looked confused. Dean held up the towels.

  
“Don’t want you to burn while we’re swimming.” Dean emptied the backpack on a flat rock. He’d packed a few bottles of water, some beef jerky and some trail mix.

  
“Swimming? I didn’t bring a suit, Dean. I thought this was a riding lesson.”

  
“It was. And you handled your horse beautifully, Cas. Made me proud your ass didn’t fall off. But now, we’re taking a break.” Dean pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it on the grass. “Ever heard of skinny-dipping, City Boy? This is how we do it in Texas.”

  
Cas’ face was priceless. Dean chuckled as he leaned against Jude to pull his boots off. “But…”

  
“Come on, Cas, get with the program.” Dean’s socks joined his boots. Yeah, so this wasn’t the greatest idea he’d ever had, but he would have a true picture of Cas’ body to store in his spank bank. Cas was still frozen in place, looking everywhere but at Dean. Unbuckling his belt, Dean shucked his jeans and boxers off at the same time. He took a running start and dove into the creek. The water was cool and refreshing. He swam underwater for a few seconds and then surfaced. He turned and felt for the bottom with his toes. Dean looked at Cas expectantly.

  
Cas turned his back to Dean and began to strip down. Dean watched unabashedly. When the singer’s broad back came into view, Dean bit down on his lip. Cas hopped up and down on one foot while he pulled his boots off and it made Dean chuckle softly. It was when the jeans dropped to Cas’ ankles that Dean saw the error of his ways. This was a mistake. He’d been skinny-dipping with Charlie, Sam, Benny, hell, even Bobby had bared his ass to swim. It was a country thing. Of course, he didn’t want to sleep with any of them. Not that he wanted to sleep with Cas… Cas was just a friend. A friend who happened to have a fantastic ass.

  
Dean turned to face the opposite bank so he wouldn't be caught ogling Cas. He heard the splash and released the breath he'd been holding. He dipped his head under and swam in the direction he thought Cas would be. When he surfaced, Cas was nowhere to be seen. Dean swiveled his head around. Nothing. "Cas?" Damn city boy. His heart began to race. "Cas?" His shout was high pitched. The grip of strong fingers around his ankle almost gave him a stroke and he screamed like a banshee. Cas' head popped out of the water and he was grinning. "You asshole. I thought your white city ass had fuckin' drowned." Dean was still close to hyperventilating and hated it. He'd faced Texas sized rattlesnakes and hadn't been that scared.

  
"You saw my ass?" Cas said innocently, the grin still in place. Furious, Dean pushed off the bottom and used both hands to dunk Cas. He came up sputtering and spitting out water. "Oh, it's on, Winchester."

  
Forgetting his anger, Dean used a few powerful strokes to get away from Cas. Apparently, Cas wasn't a slacker in the swimming department because he caught Dean quickly. There was a playful struggle and then Dean remembered that a very naked Cas was less than a foot away from him. He broke away and looked everywhere but down into the water. "Guess you took swimming lessons, huh?"

  
"Will you hold that against me?" Cas asked, eyes suddenly serious.

  
"No, why would you even think that?" Cas' hair was slicked back away from his face and Dean felt the urge to mess it up. Rivulets of water coursed down his smooth chest, beading over taut nipples. He needed to get a handle on the errant thoughts he kept having.

  
"You seem to find fault with me on a regular basis." Before Dean could deny it, Cas continued. "Does being raised in the city make me not worthy of Dean Winchester's friendship? Or maybe you hate the fact that I sing..."

  
"Shut up, Cas. First of all, I don't give a rat's ass where you're from. Second, how could I hate the fact that you sing. You're God damned talented." Dean didn't know what else to say. The air around them seemed to crackle with tension. The current of the creek was pushing Dean towards Cas and he imagined he felt Cas' flaccid cock against his upper thigh. Awareness seem to reach them both at the same time and they leaned into one another.

  
Dean heard the sound of a truck on the road just over the rise. He sprang backwards. "We can't..."

  
"We shouldn't..." Cas's words came out the same time as Dean's. Why did Cas' hurt though?

  
"We should get out of here. I've got stuff to do at the ranch and I have plans tonight." Dean knew how it sounded and he hated how Cas' expression became guarded.

  
"Yes, that's good. I should get some work done tonight." Without looking at Cas, Dean made his way to the bank. He picked up one of the towels and moved behind some bushes to change back into his clothes. Cas was sitting on the ground pulling on his boots when Dean returned. "This is a beautiful spot, Dean. I can see why you come here."

  
Dean took the olive branch. "When I bought the original property, this part wasn't included. The Braedon's had talked to the owners and offered a good price for the hundred acres the creek runs through. It got to be a bidding war, but I had more liquid assets then they did." Dean walked Cas' mare over to him and gestured for him to mount.

  
Cas swung his leg over the saddle and looked down at Dean. "Did it cause problems for you?"

  
"It was tense for a few months, but I put it in writing they would always have access to the water as long as I owned the ranch." Dean handed Cas the reins and mounted Jude. With a gentle nudge, he set the horse in motion. On the way back, Cas asked a lot of questions about the land and his neighbors. Dean knew he was just making conversation. Neither wanted to focus on the almost kiss.

  
***

  
Cas went in his own pool naked all the time. It was private. And yes, a lover or two had joined him on occasion. But this...being with Dean with no clothing separating them...it was different. It flustered him and made him thin-skinned. Normally, he wouldn't have been irritated by Dean's comment about swimming lessons, but knowing Dean was nude and within touching distance was making him feel things. Things he didn't need to be feeling.

  
It wasn't a fight and it really wasn't even an argument. It was more of a short burst of temper and Dean responded by jumping on the defensive. It was a normal human reaction. The kiss was a different story. Who knows what would have happened if someone driving past hadn't pulled them out of the moment. It could have seriously damaged their friendship. Yes, he was very attracted to Dean and he would lay money that Dean was attracted to him. Sex just complicated things.

  
As it was, the conversation was stilted and Dean was obviously uncomfortable. To correct the situation, Cas asked questions about the ranch and Dean's neighbors. He seemed fond of the ranchers that surrounded his property. Cas didn't even know the identity of the people next door to his Nashville home.

  
Cas didn't want to admit to himself that Dean's comment about having plans for the evening bothered him. It didn't matter to him if Dean had something to do that didn’t include him.

  
When they arrived back at the ranch, the two men put up the horses. Cas brushed Gaga and gave her an apple from a basket near the barn door. He hummed Chopin's Minute Waltz to her as he combed out her mane and tail.

  
Movement out of the corner of his eye made him glance up. Dean was leaning against the half door of the stall. "What was that you were humming?"

  
"Chopin." Cas went back to untangling a knot in Gaga's tail.

  
"Chopin, huh? You like that stuff?"

  
"I do. I went to Juilliard to study classical piano and guitar."

  
Dean whistled. "And here I thought you were just another pretty face."

  
Cas gave a bark of laughter. "There is a lot you don't know about me, Dean," Cas said, throwing Dean's own words back at him. Dean pursed his lips and hunched his shoulders forward. He looked away and then as if he'd come to a major decision, he exhaled and faced Cas again.

  
"You're right. And I suppose if we are going to be friends, we should remedy that, huh?" Cas gathered the grooming tools and then met Dean's steady gaze.

  
"Sure. I'd like that, Dean."

  
"I'm going to an AA meeting tonight," Dean mumbled, shrugging his shoulders. Cas knew how much it cost Dean to admit that and he stepped forward. Shifting the supplies to one hand, he laid a hand on Dean's shoulder.

  
"Do you want company?"

  
Dean's eyes widened. "You would..." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I thought you had work to do."

  
It was Cas' turn to shrug. "So, I lied. I was going to find something to watch on television."

  
Dean laughed, a rich sound that Cas had grown to really like. Cas smiled in return. When Dean sobered, he said, "The meeting starts at seven."

  
"Can we have pizza first?"

  
Plans were made for Cas to go back to his hotel to shower and change. Dean would pick him up around five-thirty, giving them plenty of time to eat and get to the meeting.

  
Inside the rental car, Cas realized he smelled like sweat and horses. He didn't mind it at all.

  
Inside the room, he placed the stone he'd collected from the bank of the creek onto the dresser. It would be a reminder of that day and the almost kiss.

  
Cas was downstairs in the lobby by five-twenty. He watched through the windows, waiting for the slick, black car. His phone rang.

  
"Hello, Gabriel."

  
"Have you been on Facebook or Twitter lately?"

  
"Here and there. I really haven't had the time to check it today." Cas stepped out of the way of a couple and their two children.

  
"Your secret is out." Cas froze. The last thing he wanted was to call attention to Dean. He wasn't ready for any type of media onslaught.

  
"What secret?" He asked, going for innocence.

  
"You've been sighted in Odessa. You've bought cowboy boots at some western store and had selfies with the clerks. A woman posted a selfie with you at your hotel, but thank God she had the common decency not to tell the name of the place." It sounded like Gabe was reading Tweets. "And there are hundreds of speculations on why you are in Texas."

  
"The love child was my personal favorite," Cas said, still going for nonchalance.

  
"Luc liked the one about you being his secret lover."

  
Cas chuckled. "I'll bet he did. I'd lay money that Marie didn't like it too much." Marie, Luc's wife, was a jealous sort, even though she had no reason to be.

  
"You got that right." The Impala pulled into the parking lot.

  
"Gabe, I have to go."

  
"Someone took a picture of you and a mystery man having dinner. So far, no one has put two and two together, but Cas, it's only a matter of time."

  
Cas closed his eyes. "Fuck."

  
"Anything you need to tell your big brother?" Dean was pulling up under the portico.

  
"Nothing is going on with Winchester. It was a business dinner."

  
"Keep it that way. No, on second thought, even a business dinner isn't cool. Give up on this crazy idea of yours, Cas."

  
"I have to go." Cas ended the call without responding. He pocketed his phone and pushed through the lobby doors. Dean's smile didn't reach his eyes after Cas settled into the passenger seat.

  
He touched Dean's arm. "I don't have to go, Dean."

  
"No, it's cool. I just...Sam's the only one who has been with me to these things besides Benny. It's kind of weird, ya know?"

  
"From what I understand, these meetings are very personal and private. I will not be offended if you retract your invitation, Dean."

  
"Shut up, Cas," Dean said with a smirk. He pressed his foot to the gas pedal and they pulled out into traffic.

  
The pizza place wasn't a chain restaurant. The dining room was filled with checkered tablecloths and several families. The hostess showed them to a table and left plastic coated menus. "No pineapple," Dean said adamantly.

  
"No anchovies," Cas responded.

  
"God, no. Fish and fruit do not belong on pizza."

  
The pizza turned out to be very good and Cas would never say it to his face, but Dean's table manners left a lot to be desired. He talked with his mouth full, kept his elbows on the table, and chewed loudly. He did allow Cas to steal his pepperoni, so Cas figured it was an even trade.

  
***

  
Dean spied Benny by the coffee area as soon as they entered the basement of the First Baptist Church. He made his way over to his friend with Cas trailing behind. Once again, he'd done something foolish and out of character for him. He'd asked someone who was almost a complete stranger to go to an AA meeting with him. This was personal for him. He'd be standing up in front of everyone...fuck. It was too late now. It was like Cas had some sort of strange power over him.

  
"Benny," Dean said, holding out his fist for a bump. Benny touched his knuckles to Dean's, but his eyes were on Cas. "Cas, this is Benny. Benny, Cas." Dean watched as they shook hands and it was pretty damn obvious they were sizing each other up.

  
"Nice to meet you, Benny."

  
"Likewise. Dean, can I talk to you a second?" Benny gave a nod towards Cas. "Will you excuse us?"

  
"Of course." Cas's facial expression was neutral, but Dean caught the undercurrent in his tone. He followed Benny towards the front of the room where no one had gathered yet.

  
Benny rounded on him. "What the hell, Dean? Why did you bring Novak here? What's going on with you two?"

  
Dean shoved his hands in his pockets. He could almost feel Cas' eyes boring into his back. "He's my friend, Benny. That's all." That's all. A friend. Benny didn't look convinced.

  
"Just be careful, okay? He's not going to stay around here. He's got a life you can't be part of." Can't? Was Benny right? Was he so fuckin' fragile that singing again would make him pick up the bottle again?

  
"I'm good. I'm here aren't I?"

  
"Yeah, you're here because of Novak. Don't forget you called me the other night whining about him."

  
At Dean's stony glare, Benny held out his hands. "I'm just worried about you, Dean."

  
Instead of responding, Dean spun on his heel and made his way over to where Cas was sitting. He sat and crossed his arms. People were filing into the room and taking their places in the uncomfortable, metal chairs. Benny was still drinking coffee and leaning against the wall. "My being here has caused an issue between you and your...friend." Dean noticed the hesitation. If he didn't know any better, he'd swear Benny and Cas were squaring off with him as the prize to the winner. Benny wasn't gay or even bi.

  
"He's just...protective."

  
"He thinks I'm going to drive you to drink again." It was a statement not a question. There was no sense in lying.

  
"Yeah." Dean watched as Benny straightened and tossed his cup in the trash. He was heading their way.

  
"I don't want to step on anyone's toes, Dean. He's your friend and I don't want to cause problems."

  
"We aren't in fuckin' kindergarten, Cas. I think I can handle more than one friend."

  
"Maybe _he_ can't." It was whispered as Benny took his seat on the other side of Dean. Dean couldn't respond because the chairman took the podium. Someone began passing a basket around and the attendees each tossed in a few bucks. It covered the cover and cookies, as well as get well and sympathy cards for members and their families. Dean tossed in a five and Cas moved to get out his wallet and Dean held onto his arm.

  
"Members only." Cas nodded and relaxed his arm.

  
The chairman read a prayer and a few uplifting quotes. Dean kept his eyes forward, mind wandering back to the almost kiss. If they hadn't gotten interrupted, would it have gone further than a kiss? They'd been naked – nothing to get in the way. Was Cas a top or bottom? Dean liked to switch it up. Not that he had a whole lot of experience with men. While John was alive, it had only been a series of quick encounters. Over the last fifteen years, he could count on one hand how many men he'd been with and again, they were just one night stands.

  
Benny's elbow to his ribs brought him out of his thoughts. Everyone was looking at him. He stood reluctantly. "My name is Dean and I'm an alcoholic."

  
"Hello, Dean," came the reply from the attendees.

  
The chairman asked, "Do you want to say anything, Dean?" He didn't. But this was part of his recovery.

  
"Last night I wanted a drink. I really wanted one. I called my sponsor and he talked me through it." He knew Cas was going to put things together. It was their fight that made him want a drink. Who would want to be friends with someone like him? Let alone, anything more. There was some polite clapping at his confession and he nodded and sat down. While someone else was going on about their wife being pissed off, Cas slipped out of his chair and disappeared out the door. Dean made a move to follow, but Benny held him in place.

  
"He's got to accept who you are or he can't be your friend, Dean." Setting his jaw stubbornly, Dean brushed Benny's hand off and followed Cas out.

  
He found him pacing in the small courtyard behind the church near the parking lot. The small fountain bubbled and splashed. "Cas." Cas stopped and looked up.

  
"My being here and pushing you to do something you aren't able to do caused you to need a drink, Dean. I'm sorry. I will be leaving so you can have your life back."

  
Dean saw red. "First, Benny says I can't and now you say I'm not able. What the fuck do either of you know? Yeah, so what if I wanted a drink...not needed...wanted...big difference. But neither of you have the right to tell me I can't do something. I'm not a fuckin' snowflake. Jesus H. Christ," Dean shouted, raking his fingers through his hair. "I can record the God damn song without falling off the wagon. Give me some credit, Cas."

  
"Dean, you don't have to prove anything to me...to anyone."

  
"Maybe..." The epiphany floored him. "Maybe I need to prove something to me, Cas."

  
Cas came to stand in front of him. "What do you need me to do, Dean."

  
"You have studio time booked, right?"

  
"Yes. Starting tomorrow, two until five for recording the Christmas CD, but I have the morning and early afternoon for my own songs. The band is laying down the music back home and I'm going to start overlaying with the lyrics, but I can do that when I get back to Nashville." Dean did some calculations in his head. He could spare a couple hours for the next few days since the hay was baled and stored. He chose not to think about Cas going back to Tennessee.

  
"I can give you from ten to twelve." Cas' smile should have been triumphant, because he was getting what he wanted all along, but it wasn't. It was almost grateful looking. Well, once it became known that Dean Winchester was singing with him, Cas' reputation might tank. "Are you sure you want this, Cas? You gotta know I could screw things up for you."

  
"I'm very sure, Dean."

  
On the way to the car, Benny called to Dean. Both men stopped and waited until he joined them. He opened his mouth to speak, but Dean shook his head. "Not now, Benny. We'll talk in the morning."

  
"Dean, can you wait in the car for a minute." He looked at Cas incredulously. What the fuck? "Please," Cas implored. Dean huffed his displeasure, but headed for the Impala. It was a freakin' conspiracy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, it was almost impossible to find pictures of men skinny dipping - they were either too fat, too skinny, too old, too young or it was in a pool or ocean. Someone needs to take care of this shit.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a tad bit of smut in this chapter...you've been warned. ***insert diabolical laughter here***

Both men watched Dean head for his car. Cas could see Dean’s lips moving and knew he wasn’t happy. When he was far enough away, Cas turned to Benny. “You seem to have a problem with me, and since Dean and I will be working together, we should probably air out our differences.”

  
Benny narrowed his eyes. “Working together?”

  
“Yes, Dean and I will be recording a song together.” Benny opened his mouth to speak, but Cas cut him off. “I was ready to bow out gracefully and walk away. Contrary to what you might believe, I want what is best for Dean. He seems to think he needs to do this. And trust me when I say, if I see the first signs that he cannot handle it, I will make sure the plug is pulled on this project.”

  
Benny shoved his hands in his pockets and squinted at Cas. “Dean’s family has been trying to get him to sing again for a long time. I don’t know how you did it, but I’m not going to question it. I think he needs to do it too.” Then he straightened and pulled himself up to his full height. “But, you hurt him in any way…you make him take a drink…I will come after you.”

  
“Fair enough,” Cas replied. He had no doubt Benny would make good on his threat.

  
“You like him, don’t you?” Now, Benny was studying him like he was a bug under a microscope.

  
"Of course, I do. Dean is a good man...a talented man." Benny's smirk rubbed him the wrong way, but he was the bigger man. "I do not wish to step on anyone's toes. If you care for Dean, I will not interfere."

  
Benny reared back like he'd been slapped. "Whoa, hold your horses, brother. It ain't like that. I'm married. Happily married. Did you honestly think..."

  
Cas looked contrite. "My apologies." Benny began to laugh.

  
"You're jealous...of me. Man, that's rich."

  
"It was an easy mistake. You acted like a..."

  
"Friend...sponsor..." Benny pursed his lips. "I don't know how they do it where you're from, but out here, we protect our friends."

  
"Dean is lucky to have someone like you," Cas said stiffly. Did he have anyone as loyal and protective as Benny? Sure, Gabriel had his back, but Gabriel was also his brother. Balthazar was his friend, but then Cas signed his paycheck. Did anyone really like him because they wanted to?

  
"For some reason, Dean likes you and that makes you alright in my book. Like I said, I'll end you if you hurt him, but if you care about him...well, I just want Dean to be happy. Whether it be music or you, I don't care."

  
"It's not like that between Dean and me," Cas started, but again, he was interrupted. Was everyone rude in Texas?

  
"You keep telling yourself that, Mr. Novak." With that, Benny turned and walked away. Cas pushed his thoughts away and strode confidently towards the car. He wasn't feeling very confident though.

  
When he opened the passenger door, Dean didn't even let his ass hit the seat before he began ranting. "What the hell is going on between you and Benny? I felt like a fuckin' referee at a boxing match."

  
Cas looked at him solemnly and then said, "Your friend Benny and I were nowhere close to trading blows, Dean. He was being protective and I saw it as something else."

  
"What? What did you see it as?"

  
"I thought he saw me as a threat to his relationship with you. I was wrong."

  
Dean's brow knitted together as he processed Cas' words. He scratched his head. "So, what...you thought Benny and I were...a thing?"

  
Cas looked out the windshield. Maybe he had been jealous of Benny. "Yes," he said softly.

  
Dean's lips parted and his eyes widened. "Benny's married."

  
"I realize that, Dean," Cas huffed. He was pissed off at himself now. He felt cornered.

  
"And you were...jealous?" Cas could hear the smile in Dean's voice, but he wouldn't look at the man.

  
Without admitting to anything, Cas said, "Jealousy is a wasted emotion. I think we mutually agree our attraction cannot go any further." Cas heard the slight creak of leather as Dean settled back into the seat.

  
"I suppose you're right." Cas turned his eyes on Dean. He was tapping his forefinger against his lip, looking contemplative.

  
"Sex between us would be counterproductive," Cas affirmed.

  
"Yeah, probably." Dean's eyes stayed fixed on his.

  
"We should keep things on a professional level."

  
"Not friends?" Dean asked with a lift to his left brow and Cas found that so fascinating he couldn't look away.

  
"No...yes...professional...friends..." Where the fuck was he going with this?

  
"They call that prostitution, Cas," Dean said, amusement etched all over his face. Cas stared at the tiny laugh lines around Dean's eyes. He took in the way one side of Dean's smile was slightly higher than the other. Dean's smile faltered and he swallowed, his Adam's apple moving up and then down. Dean's eyes drifted down to Cas' mouth and Cas licked his lips in an unconscious response. Their bodies shifted towards each other until there were barely inches between them. Cas could feel the heat from Dean's skin. He could smell clean sweat and a hint of aftershave.

  
"Dean..." He wanted this man. If he took the time to think about it, he'd conclude that he'd never wanted anyone as much. He wasn't going to think though. He reached his hand behind Dean's head and brought him forward. Dean went willingly and when their lips finally met, it was everything Cas thought it would be. Passion burned between them and Cas found himself astride Dean's thighs, the steering wheel digging into his back. He hadn't made out in a car since he was in high school. He'd forgot how exciting it could be. His hips rocked back and forth, pressing his hard cock against Dean's. It felt like Dean was devouring him. Teeth dragged against his lower lip and he moaned into Dean's mouth. Hands tugged at his shirt, ripping it from his jeans and then blunt fingernails scratched and dug into his heated skin.

  
"Dean," he whispered against Dean's lips. The friction between their cocks was almost painful, but he didn't want to stop. He needed this. He needed release. His pelvis ground against Dean over and over, driving him closer to the edge. He felt Dean fist his hair, but didn't care.

  
"Cas...easy...easy..." Dean was pulling away and Cas growled, the sound coming from deep within. Dean laughed softly. "Fuck it." Cas felt Dean's hands on his hips now, guiding him...urging him to go faster. Cas was getting close. They'd stopped kissing and were just gasping, their lips centimeters apart. The car was stiflingly hot and sweat dripped down Cas' nose, dropping onto Dean's upturned face. The rasp of denim melded with their harsh breathing. So close.

  
"Close."

  
"Come on, Cas." Dean rested his forehead against Cas' and the white heat building in his belly exploded. He cried out and as his senses came back online, he got to watch Dean's climax. Face wet with sweat, skin flushed, eyes wide, mouth agape. He was beautiful. Cas let his body relax, the bunched muscles easing into soft mush.

  
***

  
Dean let his head fall back against the seat. His mind was racing. He'd just dry humped Cas Novak in the front seat of his car. The windows were fogged and the only sound was their breathing slowly returning to normal. His fingers were still touching Cas' hot, sweaty back.

  
"Dean?"

  
"Hmmm," Talking was so overrated. He just wanted to close his eyes and...

  
"We are in a church parking lot. I think we may have broken a biblical rule or something." Dean's brain formed the sentence in his head, but it took a couple of seconds before the words made sense. His eyes flew open and he shoved Cas off of him. Cas cursed and accidently kneed Dean in the balls.

  
"Shit...fuck..." Dean cupped his nuts and looked around blindly. Did anyone see them? The meeting was still going on when he'd followed Cas outside. "Christ Almighty, Cas, what if someone saw us?"

  
"Taking the Lord's name in vain after fornicating in the parking lot is a one way ticket to hell," Cas said dryly. He'd crawled over to his side of the car and was trying to straighten his shirt. Dean hoped the face he gave Cas was enough to smite his sexy ass.

  
"Thanks a lot, Asshole." Dean cranked the car up and rolled down the window. It was stifling. He was wet with sweat and other bodily fluids he didn't want to think about right now. He didn't see anyone lurking around, so he put the car in drive and eased out of the parking lot. Hands tight on the wheel, his mind raced. What was he thinking?

  
"Dean?" Cas' voice didn't have the usual bravado it usually did. Dean took his eyes off the road to look at his passenger. Cas was looking at him, hair wet and spiked up in all directions, and his eyes were unreadable.

  
"Yeah?"

  
"I don't regret what we just did." The words were almost a whisper and Dean brought his eyes back to the road in front of him. Dean didn't regret it either, but he remembered being in the spotlight. There were always people around with cameras and phones. Pictures always surfaced. Cas didn't need that kind of shit.

  
"You say that now, but if a picture of us humping like teenagers hits the internet, trust me, there'll be plenty of regrets." Cas didn't respond and when Dean stopped in front of the hotel, the passenger door slammed shut before Dean could gauge the man's mood. "Fuck." Dean's hand hit the steering wheel and he apologized to his baby while he rubbed his hand. "Damn it to hell." He pulled out from under the portico and parked in the guest lot. He knew he looked and smelled like a ranch hand, but he didn't care. When he stepped into the lobby, he realized he didn't know which room Cas was in. Knowing how these things worked, he didn't bother with the front desk. They wouldn't give out a celebrity's room number. He went to the same chair he'd sat in the night Cas arrived in Texas and sat down. He pulled out his phone.

  
**Text to Cas/9:02 – Room number?**

  
He waited. Surely, Cas wouldn’t ignore him. He went back over the words exchanged since they both came in their pants and he came to the realization he didn't handle it like he should have. And speaking of...the drying cum felt nasty.

  
**Text to Cas/9:04 – I'm downstairs waiting. Give me your room number.**

  
Dean stood up and paced. His phone pinged. "Bout damn time."

  
**Text from Cas/9:05 - 432**

  
Short and sweet, Dean thought as he pressed the elevator button for the fourth floor.

  
The ride up wasn't long and Dean still had no idea what he was going to say when he got to Cas' room. He rapped his knuckles against the door and it opened, revealing a shirtless Cas. Dean stared. Cas didn't move out of the doorway. "You going to let me in?"

  
"Someone with a camera could see you, Dean," Cas said, the sarcasm dripping from his words.

  
"Okay, so I deserved that. Let me in, Cas." Cas spun on his heel and Dean shut the door behind him. "I don't know what to do here, Cas." Dean watched as Cas sat down to take off his shoes and socks.

  
Without looking up, Cas said, "I don't either, Dean. I'm sorry you regret our actions, but like I said, I don't. We can end this thing just as easily as it began."

  
"Damn it, Cas. I didn't say I regretted it. All I meant was that we can't be fucking around in my car in public. You know how many vultures are around waiting to post personal pictures on social media. I just don't want your career to suffer because of me."

  
Cas stood up and strode towards him, a determined and slightly scary glint in his eyes. "Perhaps you should let me worry about my career, Dean." He was up in Dean's face now and Dean refused to back up, even though he wanted to. "You keep insinuating that your presence on a CD, on stage, or having sex with me will be detrimental to me in some shape or form, but I can assure you that I don't give a good God damn what anyone thinks."

  
"Okay," Dean whispered, pursing his lips. "Guess that clears that up. I guess I'll just..." He took a step backwards. "...leave you to your..." He waved towards the bathroom. "...shower. I need one myself. I feel like I've been rode hard and put up wet." Dean's eyes widened. The old adage was very close to the truth. Cas raised one eyebrow and damned if he didn't look hot as hell.

  
"I believe you were, Winchester." He reached out and grabbed the front of Dean's shirt and dragged him forward, his lips crashing down on Dean's. Dean would deny the whimper that escaped his mouth to his dying day. Somehow, Cas managed to get his shirt off without any assistance from Dean. Dean was too busy trying to keep his weak knees from giving out to be much help with anything. He heard his buckle being undone and then the zipper unceremoniously shoved down.

  
"Are we gonna..." Dean started and Cas stopped the assault on his neck to meet his eyes. The smile he gave Dean was feral and Dean swallowed hard, the sound loud to his own ears.

  
"Yes, we are going to..." Cas let the sentence trail off as he pushed his hands under the waistband of Dean's jeans and cupped his ass.

  
"Good...yeah, that's good." Dean pushed his jeans down to midthigh and winced as the dried cum in his boxers acted like Superglue. He flailed a bit when he tried to toe off one of his boots. Cas' low rumble of laughter caused him to look up again. "You could help."

  
Cas shrugged. "You seem to have it all under control." But he stepped back and unbuttoned his own pants. Dean kept his eyes on those long, beautiful fingers as he got his boots off. Bending over, he peeled off his socks just as Cas lowered his pants. The plain white boxers showed the stain from their earlier tryst and it shouldn't have turned him on like it did. He flung his jeans and briefs across the room and stood naked and hard watching as Cas slid his last piece of clothing to the floor. Even semi-erect, the man was impressive. Very impressive.

  
***

  
When he told Dean he had no regrets, it was the equivalent of saying he wanted more with Dean. Only Dean did regret it or so it seemed. He always seemed to be worried about Cas' career. Cas could worry about his own career. He didn't care what people thought, hell, he'd come out on a television program that he was bi. If it stopped people from buying his music, fuck 'em.

  
In his room, he fumed. He really liked Dean. Liked him to distraction, but he didn't need to keep hitting his head against the stubborn wall that was Dean Winchester. Maybe he should just pack up and go back to Nashville. Dean said he would record the song, but Cas wouldn't hold him to it. It wasn't like Dean signed on the dotted line.

  
God, he needed a shower. The Texas heat combined with dry humping Dean in his car made him stink. He lifted his arm and wrinkled his nose at the smell. Good thing he didn't see any fans in the lobby. He unbuttoned his shirt and was about to slip it off when his phone pinged. "Room number," he muttered. Why did Dean want his room number? He was so done with tonight. All he wanted was a cold shower and a warm bed. He set his phone on the dresser and tossed his shirt in the pile of laundry on the floor. He was about to pull off his shoes when the second text came through.

  
Cas stared at the screen for a few seconds before entering his room number. He went to the window and stared out onto the parking lot. He could see the Impala under one of the security lights. When the knock came, he took a deep breath. What did Dean want? What could he possibly have to say?

  
He opened the door and had to admit he was pleased by Dean's eyes roaming over his chest. Then again, it wasn't their attraction to each other that was the problem. Stubbornly, Cas didn't move from the doorway, leaving Dean standing in the hall.  
Once their little standoff was over and Cas let Dean say his piece while he calmly removed his shoes, Cas felt the anger rise again. Damn him. He stood up, feeling his temper boil inside of him. Cas wanted to strangle the man or just fuck him until he couldn't walk – right now, it didn't matter which.

  
"Perhaps you should let me worry about my career, Dean," he growled, his chest pressed to Dean's. Dean held his ground. "You keep insinuating that your presence on a CD, on stage, or having sex with me will be detrimental to me in some shape or form, but I can assure you that I don't give a good God damn what anyone thinks."

  
The way Dean stuttered through his next few sentences made up Cas' mind. The strangling could wait for another time. The rode hard and put up wet statement pushed Cas over the edge. "I believe you were, Winchester." Cas grabbed the front of Dean's shirt and hauled him close enough to kiss. The kiss was meant to punish and Dean's whimper fueled the lust eating away at him. With the single-minded purpose of getting Dean naked, Cas all but ripped off Dean's shirt. He made short work of his belt buckle and with a flick of his thumb the jeans were unbuttoned. His mouth moved down Dean's neck, tasting the sweat and reveling in it. The sound of the zipper was music to Cas' ears.

  
"Are we gonna..." Cas pulled himself away from Dean's beautiful throat and smiled. Dean's eyes were wide and his face was flushed. He wanted Cas as much as Cas wanted him.

  
"Yes, we are going to..." Cas shoved his hands under the waistband of Dean's jeans and palmed his firm ass. He gave them a healthy squeeze before giving Dean room to undress.

  
"Good...yeah, that's good." Cas had to laugh when Dean almost fell on his ass while trying to get his boots off. "You could help," Dean said petulantly.

  
"You seem to have it all under control." Reluctantly, Cas took a few steps back and got rid of his own pants. He was down to just his boxers and dreaded peeling them off, knowing the dried cum would probably pull his pubic hair. Dean tossed the last of his clothing across the room and Cas stripped off his underwear, letting it slide to the floor.

  
Cas licked his lips. Dean was fully erect and God, his cock was beautiful. Longer than his, but not quite as thick. His own cock lengthened at the sight. "Shower."

  
"Probably a good idea," Dean mumbled, his eyes moving up and down Cas' body like he wanted to commit it to memory. Cas made the first move towards the bathroom, but he could feel Dean's presence behind him. He quickly turned on the water and watched it gushing into the tub. Dean pressed against his back, one hand on his stomach and the other on his pec, finger brushing his nipple. He let his head fall back onto Dean's shoulder, allowing Dean to kiss his neck. He felt Dean's tongue moving along the skin under his ear and he shivered. Cas let Dean's hands roam over his body as the steam rose around them. "Cas...we should probably get in," Dean whispered against his throat.

  
Cas bent down and pulled the lever. Hot water burst out of the shower head and he adjusted the temperature. He gripped Dean's hand and tugged him into the tub, pulling the curtain behind them. The cool water sluiced over Cas' hot skin. Dean was still behind him, his cock pressed against the cleft of his ass. He covered Dean's right hand with his own and moved it to his shaft, guiding it up and down. Dean's teeth were grazing across his shoulder and he put his hand on the tile to hold himself steady.  
Dean used his other hand to push Cas' upper torso forward while he increased the speed of his strokes. He was riding Cas' ass now, letting his cock rub between Cas' cheeks. "Damn..." Dean said softly when Cas pushed back to give Dean more friction. Cas felt the pressure building and by the sound of Dean's harsh breathing, he was close too. He reached down to palm his balls.

  
He hissed through clinched teeth as his orgasm hit him like a freight train. He couldn't catch his breath and his eyes refused to focus. Dean's strong arms were the only thing holding him up. Dean had stopped moving and was gently kissing the back of his neck. "You good?"

  
Dragging more air into his lungs, Cas nodded. He flexed his legs and knew they'd hold him now. The press of Dean's erection was hot against his now much cooler skin. He rolled his hips back, showing Dean he was ready. Dean gripped Cas' waist with both hands and started to move. Dean's cock, slick with precum, it slid easily up and down between their bodies. Dean's breath was coming out in short, harsh pants now. Cas closed his eyes and knew he'd remember this moment forever.

  
A guttural shout and then Dean's cum was painting Cas' back and ass. They stayed in the same position, letting the water wash away the evidence of their passion until Dean shivered. Cas straightened. "We should probably wash."

  
Dean's short bark of laughter made him turn his head. "Ya think?" Then his hand came down on Cas' wet ass with an audible smack.

  
"You will pay for that, Winchester," Cas growled, pivoting so he was facing Dean.

  
"Promises...promises."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In real life, sex isn't always hearts and flowers, stuff happens. Some of it wonderful, some funny as hell.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My muse took a vacation without me and it took me longer than usual to finish this chapter, but he/she is back now.

It was easy with Cas. The post-sex awkwardness wasn't there. They dried off and Cas started a conversation about guitar makers, asking Dean's opinion and Dean just fell into it. He followed Cas' towel clad ass out of the bathroom and that's when he hesitated. Should he get dressed and make excuses to leave? Should he assume Cas wanted him to spend the night? He bit his lip and looked blindly around the room. As hotel rooms went, it wasn't fancy. He knew Cas was probably used to better, but it wasn't shabby either.

  
Something small and out of place caught his eye and he moved forward. A small, smooth stone sat on the dresser. "I wanted something to remember that day," came Cas' voice from behind him. Dean didn't turn around. He couldn't because he was afraid Cas would see the impact of his words. He picked it up and nestled it in his palm.

  
"What? You gonna carry it around on your tour bus?" Dean heard the sarcasm in his voice and hated himself for it. Why couldn't he just let a good thing happen without destroying it?

  
"Yes." Dean felt a surge of anger. Why didn't Cas fight back? He hadn't been afraid to put Dean in his place at the creek. He squeezed the stone before putting it carefully down on the wood surface. "You're doing it again," Cas said softly, now, right behind Dean.

  
Doing what, Dean wanted to ask, but he didn't want to delve deep into his own psyche. Not now. "Maybe I should go."

  
"Maybe you should stay." Dean turned around, meeting Cas' gaze for the first time since they left the bathroom.

  
"Why me, Cas?"

  
Cas didn't even need to pretend he didn't know what Dean was talking about. He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders and that lopsided smile that Dean had grown to love. "Because you're real, Dean. And in my world, that means something special."

  
"You're a sap, Cas," Dean said, moving forward to hook his fingers around Cas' towel. With a tug, it landed on the carpet. Cas held out his hand and Dean took it. He allowed himself to be led to the bed and his own towel joined Cas'.

  
Surprisingly enough, Cas didn't touch him sexually. He wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulders and tugged him close. He turned off the lamp and picked up the television remote. Without talking, they watched a reality show based on families living in the wilds of Alaska. One episode led to another until Dean found himself yawning. Cas kissed his forehead and whispered, "What time do you have to be back at the ranch?"

  
"I'm usually up and working by seven." Dean knew a phone call would take care of it, but he didn't want Bobby and Benny picking up his slack. Not for something like this.

  
"I have to be at the studio around ten." Cas flipped off the TV and Dean sighed as he closed his eyes.

  
The blaring of his alarm woke Dean and he fumbled with his phone. He heard a growl beside him and a hand shoved against his back. He sat up and rolled his neck to pop out any kinks. The room was dark, but he could make out a lump in the bed beside him. He needed to get on the road.

  
He pulled on the jeans and picked up the shirt from the night before. He wrinkled his nose. It smelled like dirty sweat and sex. There was no sense in taking a shower if he had to wear this home. He sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled on his socks and boots. Cas hadn't moved. Gathering his keys, wallet and phone, he bent down. "Cas, I have to go. Call me later."

  
A indistinct grunt came from the mass of brown hair. Dean smiled. Guess the singer wasn't much of a morning person. He wasn't either back when he was in the business. In a move that shocked him, he leaned down and kissed the tussled head. Hoping Cas was too out of it to notice, he slipped out of the room.

  
Thankfully, the lobby was deserted at this time of morning except for a tired looking desk clerk who didn't even raise her head. In no time, he was in the Impala and roaring towards the ranch.

  
Benny's truck was already parked next to the barn when Dean drove by. So much for being inconspicuous. Bobby saluted him with his coffee cup as he neared the house. Dean stopped the car next to the older man. "Give me a few minutes to shower and I'll meet you and Benny in the office. Mondays were always started with a meeting to go over what needed to be done in the upcoming week. He'd be late.

  
"Coffee's made. Your breakfast is in the oven. Take your time. Benny and I will feed the horses," Bobby said, seemingly unfazed by Dean's tardiness and apparent walk of shame.

  
"Thanks, Bobby." Once he parked the car, he hustled inside. The smell of bacon still lingered. His stomach growled.

  
The shower woke him up and he felt much better. Popping two pieces of bread into the toaster, he poured himself a cup of coffee while he waited for the toast to brown. He quickly made a bacon and egg sandwich before heading down to meet with the other men.

  
By three, he was finished with the chores and left Benny and Bobby to do a thorough cleaning of the tack. He took his second shower of the day and headed to town.

  
He found the studio easily enough and went inside. A young man with several piercings and lots of ink looked up from a computer screen. "Can I help you?"

  
"Yeah. Where can I find Cas Novak?" The man straightened up, eyeing Dean warily.

  
"Uhm, he isn't here." Dean recognized a lie when he saw one.

  
"Look, I'm a friend of his. Just go tell him Dean is here." They hadn't made arrangements for Dean to be here today, but Dean didn't think Cas would mind. Besides, he needed to do this before he lost his nerve.

  
The guy disappeared down a dark hallway and returned a few minutes later. "He's in Studio D. Down the hall and to the right.

  
"Thanks," Dean called over his shoulder, trying not to notice how damp his palms were.

  
***

  
Cas vaguely remembered Dean leaving that morning. He might have imagined the kiss on his head though. That wasn't Dean's style. Not after last night. It was like they took one step forward and two backwards. At least, they were good when they fell asleep.

  
He got ready and drove to the studio, stopping to grab a breakfast biscuit on the way. He hated fast food, and while he was on the road, Balthazar made sure they had fruit and yogurt stocked in the bus' fridge for him. If he would have gotten up sooner, he could have had his meal at the hotel, but he hated mornings.

  
The musicians greeted him warmly and he had a good track laid down before they broke for lunch. Since he'd eaten late, he made a few calls to Gabe, the band and returned a call from the record exec in charge of the Christmas CD.

  
He knew he should be finishing up the holiday song, but instead, he gave the guitarist a copy of the music for his and Dean's song. He played it through a couple times until he was comfortable with it and then the sound engineer added a few overlays to it. Cas smiled. It was smooth. He knew it would sound better when his band played it, but for now, it was good.

  
They were getting ready to run it through again when the young staff member who manned the phones entered the room. Everyone looked up. "Mr. Novak, there's some guy named Dean here to see you. Should I get rid of him?"

  
"No. Send him back." The door shut and Cas addressed the studio musicians. "Dean is my co-writer." Most of the musicians were young and probably wouldn't remember Dean Winchester, the singer, and Cas didn't feel the need to inform them. The last thing Dean needed was one of these guys getting curious and looking him up online. 

  
When Dean entered the studio, he seemed self-conscious. Cas immediately went to him, shielding him from the musicians. "Dean, I didn't expect you," he whispered.

  
Dean ducked his head and responded softly, "I know we didn't have a plan, but I wanted to get this over with." Cas' expression of hurt must have given him away because Dean added, "No...I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't want to chicken out."

  
"Do you feel up to a run through today? I've been working with the sound engineer, but would love your input."

  
With a shrug, Dean said, "Sure." Cas paid special attention to Dean's body language over the next hour. He was tense at first, but gradually relaxed and spoke up when he didn't like the way something sounded. At one point, he even picked up a guitar and showed the musicians the tempo he wanted.

  
The other men began packing it up around four-thirty and Cas led Dean out. "Thank you for coming today, Dean. Your insight really helped. I think with one more day of practice, we'll be able to add the lyrics."

  
"Yeah, probably," Dean said, his hands moving into his back pockets.

  
Cas wrapped his fingers around one of Dean's wrists, stopping the man from moving forward. "Dean, you don't have to do this." It was obvious that Dean was uncomfortable, and that was the last thing Cas wanted.

  
Dean gave him a small smile. "I do have to do this, Cas. For me. Not you. Not for anyone else. Me." Cas licked his lips and nodded. He was proud of Dean, but apprehensive as well. He'd never forgive himself if Dean had a setback.

  
As they neared their cars, Cas slowed. What would happen now? Would Dean want to go back to his ranch without Cas? "You can't ride in those running shoes, Cas. Go change. I'll see you in a few." Dean took a step closer to his car and then stopped. "I had fun last night." And God, if he wasn't blushing and Cas wanted to take him into his arms and never....

  
"Me too, Dean." Without another word, the two separated to get into their vehicles.

  
At the hotel, Cas changed into his boots and with wishful thinking, tossed a few items into a small duffle.

  
Fifteen minutes later, he parked his rental in front of the barn. As before, Dean had Gaga and Jude tethered out front. Dean had his elbows resting on the door of Benny's truck and when Cas got out of the car, Benny gave him a wave before Dean stepped back, allowing his friend to drive away.

  
"Everything okay?" Cas asked, unable to shake the feeling Benny didn't care for him.

  
"Yeah. Everything's fine. You ready to ride?" Together they saddled their horses and Cas tried not to feel like a child when Dean went behind him and checked the tightness of the cinch strap. With a nod of approval, Dean handed Cas the reins. "Mount up."

  
Mounting his own horse, Dean led the way to a gate. He leaned down and unlatched it before pushing it open with his booted foot. He waited until Cas rode through and then latched it again. The horses walked side by side and Cas didn't try to make conversation. Dean obviously had something on his mind and he'd talk when he got ready. They came up on some of Dean's cattle and Cas was fascinated by the creatures. Their horns spanned five to six feet. He got his phone out and took a few pictures. He caught Dean smiling at him. "They're beautiful, Dean."

  
"Thanks. I think so too." The longhorns parted for the two men. After a few minutes, Dean said, "Want to stay for dinner?"

  
"I'd like that."

  
"It ain't nothing fancy. And Bobby will be there." Was he trying to talk Cas out of the invitation?

  
"I don't need fancy, Dean, and Bobby seems like a good man." Dean simply nodded and nudged his horse forward.

  
"This thing that's happening between us...it's making me nervous," Dean said, eyes on the horizon.

  
"You aren't alone, Dean," Cas answered, staring at Dean's profile. Damn, the man was gorgeous.

  
"Yeah," the words were said softly and then Dean kicked his horse and they took off at an easy lope. Cas, more familiar with being on horseback now, pressed his heels into Gaga's side and the mare gave chase. The cattle bawled out their displeasure as they scattered. Laughing, Cas realized he hadn't felt this free in a long time.

  
Later, they groomed their horses and then made their way to the house. After washing up, Cas sat and watched Dean put together country-fried steaks and gravy. He mashed potatoes and stirred a pot of baby carrots.

  
Bobby entered the kitchen and sniffed. "Smells good." He nodded to Cas and asked, "You joining us for dinner?"

  
"Yes, Sir," Cas said respectfully.

  
"Don't 'sir' me, boy." The older man's voice was gruff, but Cas didn't think he meant anything by it. When he started to set the table, Cas stood up and helped. Soon, dinner was on the table and everyone was eating, making conversation difficult. When Bobby pushed his plate away and patted his belly, he looked directly at Cas. "When are you going back to Nashville?"

  
"Bobby," Dean growled.

  
"Just an honest question," Bobby replied.

  
"It's okay," Cas said to Dean and then turned his gaze to Bobby. "I've got to be back in Nashville on the twenty-eighth."

  
Dean's fork clanked heavily against his plate. "That's only ten days from now."

  
Cas did some calculations in his head. It was hard to believe he'd only arrived five nights ago. He felt like he'd known Dean for so much longer. Ten days. That's all he had. Dean's expression was anxious and then it was like a veil dropped. "Bet you’ll be glad to get back to Nashville."

  
"I read somewhere that you're a classical trained pianist from Boston. How'd you get to be a country singer in Nashville?" Bobby's question kept Cas from responding to Dean's comment and he was grateful.

  
"It was quite by accident. I was singing at this little bar in DC at the request of a friend. I used to sing a lot of Billy Joel and Harry Chapin songs. It paid the bills, or at least, most of the bills. Anyway...there were a few record execs there and they approached me. They said I had the 'new voice of Nashville'. One thing led to another and here I am."

  
"But you write most of your songs, right?" Bobby asked. Dean had remained silent.

  
"Yes. It wasn't too bad at first. Writing music has always been easy for me. I just studied the styles of the country greats and came up with a formula that sells." Cas left out the part where he'd run dry and couldn't write a damn thing. Not until Dean's voice came to him on a dark highway.

  
***

  
Cas was leaving in ten days. Suddenly, Dean's meal felt like cement in his stomach. It was crazy. Fucking crazy. He shouldn't be upset. Sure they were friends and they'd had sex, but it wasn't anything serious. He schooled his expression, unwilling for Cas to know he was affected by the talk of his departure date.

  
He listened quietly as Bobby asked question after question, filing away all of Cas' answers into a compartment in his brain called 'All Things Cas'. The image of Cas in the shower and picking up that damn pebble were also stored in that tiny mind box.

  
"Life on the road has got to be hard. Ever think about slowing down some?" Dean's eyes focused on Cas' fingers, tapping out a slow, repetitive beat on the table. He had beautiful hands.

  
"Sometimes. More lately. Maybe I'm just getting old," Cas said self-deprecatingly. The fingers continued to tap. They were so long and graceful. Dean imagined them playing a melody on a piano.

  
"A lot of the greats just do CDs and such now. George Strait, Garth Brooks...they just make a few appearances a year," Bobby offered.

  
"Gabe, my brother and manager, wants me to give it a couple more years." Cas didn't sound convinced. Dean's fixation on Cas' fingers was reaching critical mass. Now, he was imagining them leaving a burning trail down his stomach, over his cock, pressing under his balls, wet and slick against his hole. He jumped up, shoving his chair backwards.

  
"The kitchen ain't gonna clean itself." He snatched up his plate and glass and made a beeline for the sink. With his back to the table, he sought desperately to slow his heartrate. He could hear the other two men getting up...the clink of dishes told him they were clearing the table. Cool your jets, Winchester.

  
With the three of them working, the dishwasher was loaded and the kitchen cleaned in less than fifteen minutes. "I'm going to head to the barns," Dean told Bobby. "Want to come with me, Cas?"

  
"Sure."

  
"I'm going to watch some television...in my room," Bobby said, letting Dean know he was allowing them privacy when they returned. Dean led the way out the kitchen door and across the yard.

  
"I do a walk-thru of the barns every night. Just to make sure the stalls are all latched and they've got plenty of water," Dean informed Cas, making conversation.

  
"I admire you, Dean. This ranch...your horses...you are working at something you love."

  
"Yeah, at the end of the day, I'm good with my life." And he was. Except for the part about having someone to wake up with every morning. He was pushing forty. He wanted a partner...kids...

  
"I want to get there someday," Cas said, his voice filled with melancholy. Dean stopped walking.

  
"You're living the dream, Cas. Millions of fans, success, money."

  
Cas crossed his arms across his chest and met Dean's gaze. "Does it make me sound like an asshole if I say that's not enough?" He cocked his head, waiting for Dean's response.

  
Dean gave him a wan smile. "What else do you want, Cas? A movie deal? A private island?"

  
The other man chuckled softly. "Nothing that extravagant. Just someone to share my life with, Dean." He said Dean's name like a caress and shivers ran up Dean's spine.

  
"Me too," Dean whispered. It was stupid. He was stupid. He had to be imagining these feelings because people didn't fall in love in a handful of days. But fuck, if he couldn't imagine waking up to Cas' grumpy ass every single morning for the rest of his life. To hide his confusing thoughts, Dean started walking again. Cas quickly fell into step beside him.

  
Inside the door to the main barn, Dean flipped the light switch. The horses shuffled in their stalls and a few nickered a greeting. Cas went straight to Gaga's stall and rubbed her nose. The city slicker sure had changed since that first day when he arrived in the tour bus. After a cursory glance to make sure the horses' water buckets were filled and the latches tight, he came to stand behind Cas. His arms snaked around the man's waist and Dean felt Cas relax against his chest. "I want you, Cas."

  
"You can have me." Dean closed his eyes. But for how long?

  
"Will you stay the night?"

  
"I brought my toothbrush," Cas replied, a smile in his voice.

  
"Cocky bastard," Dean said, dragging his teeth down the back of Cas' neck. He pulled Cas' shirt from his jeans and let his hands wander over the warm skin of Cas' stomach. Cas moaned softly and turned into Dean's arms. His mouth found Dean's. He opened his lips to let Cas take control of the kiss. He felt Cas' hands moving up under his t-shirt.

  
Cas pulled his lips away and Dean whined, "Hey..."

  
"As much as I want you right now, I really don't think I want our first time to be in a barn." Cas gripped Dean's hands to stop their exploration. First time? That means Cas expects there to be other times.

  
"Come on." Dean broke away, but kept one hand in Cas', tugging him towards the door. He had ten days to get Cas Novak out of his system.

  
They stopped at Cas' car and he grabbed his bag out of the backseat. After that, it became a race to get into the house and up the stairs. Giggling like school children, they shoved each other until they arrived breathlessly at the door of Dean's room. Cas pressed him against the wall and took his mouth again. The kiss was wet and sloppy, but Dean could feel Cas' smile. He rolled his hips against Dean's crotch and Dean could feel Cas' arousal. When was the last time he'd wanted someone this badly? Dean fumbled on the wall behind him until he found his doorknob. With a twist, he kicked the door open. It banged against the opposite wall. "Shhhhh," he hissed. "Bobby will hear."

  
"You're the one making all the noise, Dean." Cas let go long enough to glance around the room. Dean tried to see it through Cas' eyes. The wall above the bed reclaimed wood from one of the original barns on the property and a small chest of drawers was painted and distressed to match. The bed was neatly made. Dean didn't remember making it. In fact, the only time he made it was when he changed the sheets every Sunday. Had Bobby made his bed? The old coot must have done it when they'd gone down to the barn. The focal point of the room was the large cowhide rug on the floor. He wondered if Cas would find it offensive. "This room suits you, Dean."

  
"It's nothing fancy..." Cas' expression stopped his words. "Right. You don't need fancy. I got it."

  
Immediately, Cas' face changed. An affectionate smile creased his lips. "You're learning."

  
"Well, speaking of learning...I want to find out what those pretty hands of yours can do to me."

  
Cas held out his hands and studied them before looking back at Dean. "You think my hands are 'pretty'?"

  
"Uh huh, and I gotta tell you, Cas, I've been thinking about those fingers opening me up all night." Desire flared in Cas' eyes and he moved towards Dean like a predatory animal. Dean was okay being prey as long as Cas was the one hunting him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I left a cliffhanger before sex. It was either wait a few more days until I had time to write the smut, or give you guys a little something to tide you over.
> 
> If you are reading along, and will be attending NASHCON, you can bring your pitchforks there and poke me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full on sex here, from beginning to end. Well, except for Dean's little freakout, but Cas has a way of fixing things. Oh, and the pictures at the bottom of the page - you might want to be in a private place before you scroll down.

Desire made Cas' heart pound and he felt like his blood was on fire. He'd never experienced the teasing, easy way Dean made things. Dean was unflinching as Cas moved into his personal space. "You have no idea..." Cas whispered as he trailed a fingertip down the front of Dean's shirt. "...how many times I've thought about making love to you. Slowly." Dean's eyebrows rose a fraction and a flush settled over his skin. His mouth was parted just enough that Cas could hear the quick inhalation of breath. He cupped Dean's face in his hands, holding him steady, while bringing his lips to Dean's beautiful mouth. A mouth he'd dreamed about so many times since the first day he stepped off the bus.

  
He lost himself in the kiss. The rough sound of their breathing, the rough feel of Dean's stubble rubbing against his, the subtle aroma of Dean's lingering aftershave... "So good..." He murmured, pulling away for a second, only to press in again...harder this time. He licked and nipped at Dean's lower lip, causing the other man to moan his name. Whenever Dean said his name, it sent waves of warmth throughout his body. He could easily fall in love with this man. He inhaled and withdrew a few inches. Dean's eyes opened slowly, heavy lidded. His lips were wet with their combined spit.

  
Dean's hands were gripping his waist, just above the waistband of his jeans. He blinked lazily at Cas before dragging him close again. This time he was the aggressor. His tongue plundered into Cas' mouth, tangling with his own. Hands tugged his shirt out of his jeans and he felt the light caress of Dean's palms on his skin. A rancher's hands, rough from years of labor, so unlike his own. Dean broke the kiss and let his lips move languidly up Cas' jawline. A brief kiss below his ear had him letting his head roll backwards. A nip at his Adam's apple made him purr. "Want you, Cas," Dean whispered against his throat.

  
"Yours...I'm yours."

  
A feral sound came from Dean's mouth and he shoved Cas' shirt up, giving him access to Cas' nipples. Dean's hands fisted the material and held it up and out of his way as his mouth sucked on the small buds. Cas' cock was throbbing painfully in his jeans. He wanted to be naked...wanted Dean to be... He remembered Dean's body in the creek, the sunshine kissing the expanse of skin. Teeth dragged over the sensitive nub and he gasped from the pain riding the edge of pleasure. "Dean..." Cas pushed Dean's hands away and pulled his shirt down, so he could unbutton it. The last button proved stubborn and he ripped it open causing Dean to chuckle softly.

  
"Horny?"

  
"Impatient," Cas growled and reached for Dean's shirt. Dean was faster, and within seconds, it was puddled on the floor by Cas'. Cas crowded Dean until he fell backwards on the bed, legs slightly spread, gazing up at Cas. The smile teased at what was to come. Cas knelt on the bed and crawled up Dean's body. "I want to make you scream my name," he said before taking Dean's mouth again. Dean's hands grazed his ribs and then splayed out over his back. He rolled his hips, grinding against Dean's crotch. Short fingernails clawed him, urging him on. No. What happened in the front seat of Dean's car was amazingly hot, but this time would be different.

  
He reared back on his knees and stood on unsteady legs. Quickly, he toed of his shoes before shoving his jeans to the floor, never taking his eyes off of Dean's. Through his boxers, he rubbed his cock. Dean moaned softly and he hands moved to his belt. Cas could see the thick outline of Dean's shaft and he thought he could come from just watching his lover. Lover... not a word he usually used. Then again, Cas didn't take lovers. He had conquests, one night stands, or encounters – never lovers.

  
Bending, Cas lifted Dean's feet one at a time and pulled the boots off, letting them thunk to the floor. The socks followed. He moved until his shins rested against the bed and leaned forward, reaching for the button of Dean's jeans and pushing it through its slot, then slowly lowering the zipper. Dean made a hissing sound when his knuckles pressed along the length of Dean's penis. Without being told, Dean lifted his hips and let Cas pull his jeans and boxer briefs off his bowed legs. Fine hairs dusted his muscular thighs and calves.

  
At the apex of his thighs, his balls nestled in a thick thatch of hair. Cas leaned down and inhaled Dean's scent. He took one into his mouth and Dean's hand clamped around the back of his head. "Fuck, Cas...warn a guy."

  
Cas released the testicle from his mouth and nuzzled against Dean's sac before responding. "I'm going to fuck you with my tongue, Dean." His words had the effect he wanted. Dean's mouth went wide with wonder and anticipation and something else... Cas braced himself on his arms and met Dean's eyes. "Hasn't anyone..." Just a slight shake of his head and then his expression closed off.

  
Once again, Cas crawled up Dean's body. He ignored the brush of his cock against Dean's. He rolled to his side, keeping one arm across Dean's stomach while the other he used to hold up his head. Dean turned his face away, but Cas reached up and tipped his chin back towards him. "Talk to me."

  
"Can't we just fuck," Dean said, his tone slightly bitter. Cas bit his lip and noticed Dean's erection was flagging.

  
"This isn't just a fuck for me, Dean. I thought we were on the same page here."

  
Dean sat up, dislodging Cas. He wrapped his arms around his knees. He stared at a spot across the room. "I'm just not as experienced as you," his whispered, his words barely audible. Cas moved until he was seated next to Dean, mirroring his pose. He didn't speak, knowing Dean would elaborate if he gave him time. A minute ticked by. "Dad was my manager. He kept me on a tight leash. My...my experience with men is kind of limited." He paused and Cas watched his eyes close. He could almost see Dean gathering his courage.

  
"What about after he died?"

  
A bitter laugh escaped and Dean shook his head. "For a while, I still couldn't risk it. My fall from grace was well publicized, so I bought this place and hid from the rest of the world." At Cas' silence, Dean quickly amended, "I mean...shit...I've been with a few guys. Here and there. But it was never...that intimate." Understanding dawned and Cas leaned in against Dean's shoulder.

  
"I want to do that for you, Dean. We never...you never have to reciprocate if you don't want to, but I would enjoy showing you that type of intimacy." He let his fingertip stroke Dean's bicep. "Please."

  
There was the briefest of nods and Dean's teeth worried his lower lip. Cas smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek. "Do you trust me?" Dean nodded again. Cas pushed Dean back on the bed and crawled between his legs. He started out slow, just trailing his fingers up and down Dean's thighs. Dean watched warily at first, but seemed to relax. Using his palms, Cas spread Dean's legs wider and lowered his mouth. He licked up and down Dean's cock before moving back to his balls. Again, he took first one and then the other in his mouth, nestling them softly on his tongue. When he felt the tension leave Dean's muscles, he lowered his face, using his thumbs to part Dean's cheeks.

  
The first pass of his tongue over Dean's entrance caused the other man to gasp and try to close his legs. Cas held firmly, digging in with his fingertips. "Easy," he murmured. "Relax, Dean." He waited a moment and then swirled his tongue around the furls of pink skin. He licked over it again and again until Dean's thighs quivered under his hands. He delved deeper still, the tip curling to a point to thrust inside. It didn't take long before Dean's tight hole loosened somewhat. Cas found it hard to believe Dean enjoyed penetration, but had never had anyone rim him before. Knowing Dean like he did, all Cas wanted to do was worship his body...his entire body.

  
Cas continued his exploration by leaving a trail of kisses down one of Dean's thighs. He tilted his head and nibbled at the back of Dean's knees. Dean jerked. "Tickles," he squealed and Cas filed that tidbit of information away for later use. He moved on down Dean's calf and when he got to Dean's foot, the man pulled away. "Dude, no. I've been wearing boots all day." Cas just tightened his grip and kissed the top of Dean's foot. He picked up Dean's other foot dropping a quick peck on it before traveling up his calf to the back of his knee and ended with his mouth on the head of Dean's cock. Dean released a low, guttural moan.

  
He took his time. Sucking, licking and swirling his tongue until Dean was writhing on the bed, fingers clutching at the bedding like a lifeline. Wanting this to last, Cas gave one more swipe at the slit, savoring the taste of Dean's arousal, before moving his mouth up to Dean's belly button. He dipped and licked, loving the soft sounds Dean was making. Still further up, he took each nipple in his mouth, sucking on it until it was hard and pebbled. When he was finished, he raised his head and met Dean's eyes. Yes, he could definitely fall in love with this man.

  
"Supplies," he asked softly.

  
"Drawer," Dean said, pointing at the bedside table. Reluctantly, Cas rolled away from Dean, so he could open the drawer. He gave it a cursory inspection. It was similar to his – a box of condoms, a plastic bottle of Astroglide and various sexual toys.

  
***

  
Dean watched Cas open the box of condoms and prayed they hadn't expired. His sexual conquests were few and far between and he never brought anyone back to the ranch. His encounters were usually quick and dirty in a hotel room in the various cities Dean visited on ranch related business.

  
He exhaled softly. Cas had turned him into a pile of mush, weaker than a kitten. He'd done things to Dean's body that he'd only dreamed about...or seen in online porn. Cas had worshiped his body and Dean didn't feel worthy. At the same time, he knew he was well on his way to falling for the beautiful singer.

  
Cas gave him a warm smile and scooted back to his side. "Are you okay?"

  
"Yeah, Cas." And he was telling the truth. He was okay...hell, he was better than okay. Foreplay with Cas was better than anything he'd ever experienced. He couldn't wait until the main event. Cas settled in and popped open the lube. He squeezed a healthy dollop on his fingertips and Dean spread his legs. This part wouldn't freak him out like Cas' rimming job did. Fucking was easy.

  
He felt his pucker tighten when the cool gel met his heated skin. He sucked in his breath and Cas winced. "Sorry, should have warmed it some."

  
"It's fine," Dean replied and ran his palms over Cas' strong shoulders and up to caress his neck. He closed his eyes and focused on relaxing. One of Cas' fingers slipped inside and Dean's imagination on how they would feel didn't compare to the real thing. "Good...that's good," Dean whispered as Cas moved the digit in and out slowly. He loved the stretch and burn. When he opened his eyes, he was met with the insanely blue ones, watching him intently.

  
"You are so beautiful, Dean." Dean blushed, but smiled at the compliment.

  
"Hey, I'm not the one that half the country is in love with," he said softly. He thought of all those men and women who flocked to concerts to see Cas...to hear him sing...to beg for a second of his time. And here he was, Dean Winchester, naked and in bed with Cas Novak.

  
"Yes, but you are the only one that has me," Cas said, looking like he wanted to say more. Instead, he pushed in another finger. Dean gave a small grunt of painful pleasure.

  
If asked why he asked what he did, Dean could not have given an answer. "Do I though?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he wanted to bite them back. He held his breath. Cas tilted his head and one of those soft smiles graced his lips.

  
"Yes, Dean. I'm yours." Yes, but for how long, Dean wanted to ask. Ten more days. Ten more days and then Cas would leave Texas. Sure, he might come back for a concert or two...oh, yeah, he might get a few calls. After all, they would have their song -- though he was still undecided about it. He'd told Cas he'd sing with him, but they hadn't discussed the complexities of what it meant. Dean would not tour or make guest appearances. Dean realized Cas' fingers had stopped moving. He looked at Cas and concern was written all over his face. "Dean?"

  
"I'm good, Cas. Sorry, I zoned out a bit." How pathetic was he. The most gorgeous man on the planet was getting ready to fuck him and he's worried about singing a fucking song in public.

  
"We can stop," Cas said softly and Dean knew he meant it. Cas would be the type of guy that wouldn't make you feel like a shit if you said no. That made him feel more like a shit. Enough of that. He reached out to Cas' face, loving the feel of the stubble, loving the way Cas' lips parted.

  
"Don't stop. I want you so much, Cas." After that, Cas took him apart with his fingers. The two turned into three and once he was stretched and relaxed, Cas brushed his prostate. It was just enough to drive him insane. "Cas...come on...fuck me."

  
"Now, who is impatient?"

  
"Kiss my ass," Dean said grumpily, but his words carried no heat. Cas grinned.

  
"I already did that." Dean rolled his eyes. Cas carefully pulled his fingers out of Dean's body and using his clean hand and his teeth, he opened the foil packet. Watching someone put on a condom had never been a huge turn-on until now. Dean rolled over on his stomach and pushed up to his hands and knees.

  
"No, Dean, I want to see you." And that was another first for Dean. Fucking for him was always bent over something or on his hands and knees. The guys he'd been with didn't need to see his face and he sure as hell didn't need to see theirs. As gracefully as he could, he rolled over on his back. Cas placed his hands on the backs of Dean's thighs and held them up and open. It made Dean feel very exposed, but hell, the man had his tongue buried in his hole. In the whole scheme of things, this wasn't that bad.

  
Once Cas was satisfied Dean would keep his legs in place, he reached down with his right hand and guided his cock to Dean's entrance. He rubbed it over Dean's perineum and then pushed inside. Dean tensed at the intrusion, but Cas stayed still with just the head buried in him. He let his body relax and gave a quick nod to Cas. "I'm good."

  
"You're very good, Dean." He pushed his hips forward at the same time he leaned down to capture Dean's lips. Okay, there was an upside to facing someone while you fuck. Kisses. And if he was going to be honest, it was Cas that made him feel this way – no one else. Cas slowly withdrew and then rolled his hips forward again, his mouth never leaving Dean's. Dean let Cas have control. He rested his calves on Cas' hips and held onto his shoulders, loving the feel of the muscles beneath his palms. The initial discomfort turned to pleasure and soon they were moving in tandem. Dean's hips lifting to meet each of Cas' thrusts. Both men whispered obscenities mixed with soft words of praise.

  
Cas broke the kiss and raised his head enough to look down at Dean. His eyes were intense. Almost like he wanted to memorize Dean's face. Dean couldn't look away. "Dean." It wasn't a question, more like a benediction. It did something to Dean and he had no advance warning.

  
"God..." He cried out, his body seizing, his vision fading to black for an instant. Blinding white heat raced through his bloodstream. He'd never come without direct stimulation before. And there was Cas – looking down at him like he hung the fucking moon.

  
The other man's hips lost their rhythm. He growled, a deep primal noise from deep within his chest. He snapped forward once more, burying every inch deep within Dean. Dean felt the throb as Cas' cock pumped cum into the condom. Gasping for air, Cas stilled above him, his arms trembling. Dean, still trying to catch his breath, loosened his grip on Cas' shoulders. He could see the red indents in the flesh. Cas would probably have bruises.

  
Carefully and slowly, Cas pulled out. Dean winced. It had been a long time. He'd be staying out of the saddle tomorrow. Cas sat back on his heels and ran a hand through his sweat dampened hair. Dean sat up and reached down to remove the condom. It was an intimate act, but tonight was filled with firsts. Cas cupped the back of his head and pulled him in for another kiss. Dean let his eyes drift shut and then he remembered he needed to dispose of the condom. Grimacing at the pull of unused muscles, he eased off the bed and stepped into the bathroom. He flushed the condom and turned on the sink. Once the water was warm, he wet a washcloth and cleaned himself. After a quick rinse, he wrung it out and took it back to the bed. Cas was on his back now. His dark hair in contrast to the white pillowcase. He looked damn fine in his bed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta say, NashCon was amazing. I met so many of my readers and felt humbled.

Having Dean under him, watching him as he let himself go, was probably the first time in his forty years on this planet that Cas was truly and completely intimate with someone. As he let his body relax in Dean's bed, even with his eyes closed, he could feel Dean's gaze. After wiping him down with the warm cloth, Dean crawled back in bed and pulled the covers over them. "Was it..." What a cliché. He'd been about to ask if it was good for Dean.

  
Dean's sputter of laughter told him that Dean knew exactly what he was going to ask. "Yeah, asshole, it was good for me. If you didn't pick up on that, there won't be a second time." Dean's knuckles brushing back and forth along his ribs told him Dean would not be standing by those words.

  
"You're beautiful when you come," Cas whispered, eyes still closed.

  
"Shit, Cas, don't say crap like that." Cas opened his eyes and turned his head towards Dean. Dean was staring back at him. He looked stunned.

  
"It's true."

  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Shuddup." Cas noted that Dean never stopped caressing him though.

  
Cas must have fallen asleep because he was awakened by the most God-awful sound. He cracked an eyelid and it was pitch black in the room. Where was he? The hotel window let a bit of the exterior lighting through. Dean's. A soft smile curved his lips and then he frowned. "Time's it?"

  
"Five. Go back to sleep," came Dean's voice from his left. He felt the bed shift as Dean sat up. A warm palm rubbed up and down his back and then it was gone. "I'll be back."

  
Cas sighed and snuggled deeper into his pillow. He was vaguely aware of the sound of a shower as he drifted in and out. He heard the opening and closing of drawers, but wasn't curious enough to open his eyes. "Hey, Cas..." A kiss to his temple. "I've got to get to work. Sleep as long as you want. I'll save you some coffee." A brush of fingertips to the shell of his ear. He murmured assent and the bed moved again when Dean got up. The bedroom door shut and he was alone... in Dean's bed. It was nice.

  
The next time he woke, the sun was streaming in the window. He could hear birds chirping and the low of cattle. He stretched and sat up. It was a little after nine and he was supposed to be at the studio by ten. Expelling a breath, he shuffled into the master bathroom. After his shower, Cas dressed in the jeans and t-shirt he brought with him and stuffed the rest of his belongings into his bag.

  
Downstairs, he found the coffee pot with a clean travel mug sitting next to it. Yes, he could definitely get used to this. Cas stepped out on the front porch, debating whether he should walk down to the barns or not. He really didn't know where Dean was working this morning. Instead, he got into his rental and drove down to the main barn. It was quiet and he didn't see anyone. Disappointed, he fired off a text before he headed to town.

  
On the way, he made a call to Gabriel to see if there was anything he needed to know about. They talked until he pulled up in the studio's lot. He was a few minutes late and he hated to think that he had kept the musicians waiting, but he eased his mind by reminding himself that they would be paid regardless.

  
The sound engineer had received the digital files from his guys in Nashville, so Cas could get a feel for the newer songs before they did the final recording for his new CD. The Christmas song was in the can and on its way to New York, where it would be added to the rest of the project. It was due for release around the Thanksgiving holidays.

  
At three, he looked behind the glass window and saw Dean standing there. He grinned and waved him inside. He wanted to lean in and kiss him hello, but wasn't sure what they were at this point. He really didn't know if Dean would be into displays of affection in front of strangers, so he settled for a pat on Dean's strong back.

  
Like the last session, he and Dean sang together. Their harmony was perfect. He imagined other duos, but stopped himself. Dean only agreed to this one song.

  
Dean seemed to be having fun and he talked to the musicians with respect and admiration. He took up a guitar and strummed over it a few times before starting in on the opening notes of their song. Their song... Strangely enough, there was nothing really romantic about it. Not like the hundreds of duets for couples that had been recorded over the years.

  
"You guys want to try laying down a track?" The engineer's voice came out of the speaker attached to the wall above his glass box.

  
Cas quirked a questioning eyebrow at Dean and Dean shrugged. "Sure."

  
They stood side by side, sharing the suspended microphone. As they sang, Cas was imagining them on stage together and he put his heart into it. Dean was giving his all as well. As he let the last notes echo into nothingness, the musicians and engineer clapped. "That was great, guys."

  
He replayed it for them and Cas pulled Dean in for a tight hug, patting him on the back a few times. In his ear, he whispered, "I knew you were perfect for this song." Dean didn't speak, but he felt the younger man tighten his hold before pushing away.

  
***

  
Dean woke before his alarm. He lay there in the dark listening to the soft snores coming from his right. He smiled. Cas was an amazing lover. He'd made Dean feel things he'd never felt before. The smile disappeared. He couldn't afford to fall for Cas. He had to remember that Cas was leaving soon. Who was he kidding? He was already halfway in love with the man. What was that quote, 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all'. Yeah, well, Dean already knew it was going to hurt like hell, but he was a survivor.

  
His alarm sounded and he sat up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He winced. It had been a long time and he was a little sore. It had been worth it though. He heard Cas mumble something about the time, but he told him to go back to sleep. No sense in making him get up when he didn't have to be at the studio until ten. One of them should get to sleep late, he thought ruefully.

  
He showered and dressed. He sat on the edge of the bed to pull his boots on and then leaned over to kiss Cas chastely. He wasn't sure Cas even comprehended their brief conversation. This craving to touch the man wouldn't go away. With a final touch to Cas' ear, Dean left the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

  
Bobby was already in the kitchen and the coffee was made. Dean mumbled a 'good morning' and proceeded to fix his coffee. "Things getting serious between you two, or is this just a casual thing?"

  
"So not having this conversation, Bobby," Dean said, dropping the spoon into the sink.

  
"Fair enough. Just know that it's okay to go after what you want, son."

  
Dean exhaled with a huff. "What was it about not having this conversation that you didn't understand, Bobby?" Bobby raised his hands in supplication and left the kitchen. Dean left the sugar out and knew Cas was smart enough to find the milk in the fridge. He got down a travel mug and then started his day.

  
Knowing a day on horseback would kill his tender ass, he rode the ATV out to check over the stock. The spring calves were looking really good. He'd have a good year at the stockyard sale. He was in the back pasture when his phone vibrated. He shut the engine off and checked the message. He really needed to stop smiling like an idiot every time he got a text from the man. Jeez, he was like a hormonal teenager.

  
**Text from Cas/9:50 – Thanks for the coffee. Headed to town. TTYL**

  
He finished up the daily chores while Bobby went into town for more feed. Benny was given the job of working on the backhoe. The hydraulics were giving him some trouble. Around two, he went back to the house and when he finished up with his second shower of the day, it was about time to head to the studio. He found himself looking forward to singing with Cas again.

  
When he got to there, the same guy was in the front. He looked up, nodded and pointed down the hall. He stepped into the sound booth and nodded to the engineer. Cas was singing. His voice was freakin' amazing. They finished and Cas looked up. Seeing Dean, he gave him a wide smile and waved him in.

  
The next hour was spent tweaking the song and then the engineer let them lay the track. When it was played for them, Dean couldn't believe how good it sounded. Cas' impromptu hug was affectionate, definitely not over the top, but his words about Dean being perfect for the song made Dean tighten his arms. He forced himself to let go, so the musicians wouldn't pick up on anything.

  
Dean waited while Cas talked on a conference call with his manager slash brother and the sound engineer. Apparently, a digital copy was being sent to Cas' producer and they'd figure out what they wanted to do with it. Cas seemed pretty insistent that it would be on his next CD. Once he was done with the call, Cas found Dean alone in the studio, the musicians long gone. "Sorry about the wait."

  
"No sweat. I've been thinking..." Okay, in the bathroom mirror, this was easier. "Since we're..."

  
Cas quirked an amused eyebrow and finished for him. "sleeping together?"

  
"Yeah," Dean felt his skin heat and knew he was blushing, "that." Cas leaned against the wall, ready to wait Dean out. He licked his lips and rushed headlong into his prepared speech. "There's no reason to do this back and forth thing between your hotel, the studio, and the ranch... so why don't you just packyourcrapandmoveouttotheranch." He finished in a rush over verbal diarrhea.

  
Cas straightened, head tilted. "Dean, are you asking me to move in with you?"

  
"Yeah...no...not like move in move in...just you know... until you have to leave." Dean felt lightheaded. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Cas probably thought he was some type of lunatic. Who asks someone to move in with them after one roll in the hay? A deranged fan? A freakin' nut job? A psycho axe murderer?

  
"I'd like that," Cas said, an incredibly sexy smile on those lips Dean wanted to kiss right damn now. So, he did. He took Cas' face in his hands and pulled him close. Dean stared at Cas' mouth a moment before leaning in. He'd meant for it to be quick, but Cas opened his lips slightly, a silent invitation to take what he wanted. Dean's eyelids closed and he lost himself. He felt Cas' hands on his ass, pressing him closer. Cas was hard and Dean was so needy. All he wanted was Cas. All he needed was this beautiful man.

  
The sound of someone clearing their throat had both men leaping apart. The sound engineer looked slightly amused. "I was just going to turn off the lights."

  
"Of course," Cas said, his voice sounded a bit shaky to Dean's ears. "We were just leaving." He laced his fingers with Dean's and tugged him out of the studio. Once they were out of the building, Dean tried to pull his hand away. Cas held strong.

  
"Cas, we're outside," Dean said, looking around for any sign of the press or even a fan.

  
"So what, Dean. Are you ashamed to be seen with me?" Cas asked, staring down at their hands.

  
"It's not that." Or was it? Dean had been keeping his sexuality private for so long. Was he even able to do this? Cas lifted his chin in challenge and released Dean's hand. "Cas...I'm just not sure I'm ready to..."

  
All expression left Cas' face. He took a step backwards and shook his head. "I won't be with anyone who is ashamed of who they are, Dean. Or ashamed of me," he said coldly. He turned and walked towards his rental, leaving Dean to stare, open-mouthed, as Cas screeched out of the parking lot. How had they gone from that kiss to this in less than five minutes? He leaned against the Impala, his chest so tight he could barely breathe.

  
After he calmed down a little, he got behind the wheel and found himself in Sam's driveway. Jo answered the door. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

  
"Sam." That was the only word he could formulate. Jo must have picked up on his need, because she pulled him inside the house and wrapped her arms around him.

  
"Sam's still at work. Talk to me." He shook his head. He felt so cold. "Dean, you're scaring me." When he still didn't speak, she took his hand and tugged him into the living room. He sat down on the end of the couch, staring at the family photographs on their mantle. Jo was whispering into her phone. She was probably calling Sam. A few seconds later, she pressed a glass of water into his hand. He took it.

  
"I could probably use something stronger." She didn't comment. He hung his head, his hands wrapped around the glass. "I fucked up."

  
"Oh, Dean, honey, please talk to me."

  
He looked at her. She was family and she loved him. Dean wasn't sure of many things, but he knew Jo cared. "Cas was... Cas was holding my hand and I...we were outside..."

  
"Did some asshole say something, because so help me God, I will hunt them down and end them," Jo spat, anger turning her pale face red. He almost smiled.

  
"No, it was me. I pulled away." Her face softened. "He said he couldn't be with anyone... anyone who was ashamed..." She crushed him in a hug just as the door burst open. Sam's hulking form filled the doorway into the living room. Between the two of them, Dean poured out the story, leaving out the intimate details.

  
"You really care about him, don't you?" Sam asked, never afraid to pull any punches. Dean just nodded. "Then I suggest you get in your car and go find him. You don't have to follow anyone's rules anymore, Dean. You are free to be whoever and whatever you want." Dean knew the 'anyone' was John Winchester.

  
***

  
Cas slammed the hotel door behind him. He was done. He was proud of who he was. Coming out in front of millions of fans and the media wasn't easy, but he did it and he wasn't ashamed. He refused to hide. He tossed his suitcase on the bed and began throwing stuff together. He was finished with the Christmas song. The duet was in the can. There was nothing keeping him in Texas. Not anymore.

  
He called Gabriel. "I need you to book a flight out tonight." His knuckles were white where he gripped his phone.

  
"Tonight? Sure, I can do that. Any reason you're leaving before schedule?"

  
"Just get me on a flight. Text me the details." He hung up. He tossed his phone on the bed and went into the bathroom to gather his toiletries. The can of shaving cream met the mirror with a sharp crack. The bottle of cologne followed, the cloying scent overpowering in the small room. He'd have to pay for the damage, but he didn't care. The rage left him just as quickly as it came. He stared at his reflection, broken by the many spidery fractures on the glass. He packed the remaining things and sat down to wait for his brother's text. He stared out the window, unseeing.

  
His phone pinged, pulling him out of the broken daydream.

  
**Text from Gabriel/6:32 – Flight 3445. 8:50.**  
 **Text from Gabriel/6:33 – Anything can be fixed, Castiel.**

  
Cas stared at the screen. Gabriel rarely called him by his given name. "Not this time," Cas whispered to the empty room. "Not this time," he repeated. He put his feet up on the bed, realizing he was wearing the boots he'd bought to learn to ride. He'd loved the time spent on Lady Gaga. He hadn't thought he would. It had been a ways to a means, that's all. Somewhere along the way, he'd fallen for the damn horse. And Dean. Now, he'd have neither.

  
The banging on his door pulled him out of his thoughts. He knew it was Dean. No one else would use their fist to get his attention. He opened the door, determined not to show Dean how badly he was hurting. Better to squash those emotions. They stared at each other for a few moments, Cas bound and determined not to be the first to speak. Dean looked like he was having a heated internal dialog. "I screwed up... and I'm sorry." Cas didn't think that Dean apologized very often, so it did mean something, but was it enough?

  
Not wanting to leave him standing in the hall airing their private conversation, Cas stepped aside for Dean to enter. He watched Dean take in the packed suitcase on the bed. Dean worried his lower lip for a few seconds and then began to pace the length of the room. "I don't want this to end... not like this, Cas."

  
"What is this, Dean?" Dean stopped pacing and looked him in the eye.

  
"I don't know, Cas. All I know is that you've made me feel things... want things. You never once looked down on me because of my past... because I'm an alcoholic... because I couldn't handle the pressure of being constantly in the public eye. I hated that life, Cas. But now I realize it wasn't the life, it was the way I handled things. I let my father have too much influence in who I was and how I acted. I wasn't as strong as you." Cas closed his eyes. He felt an intense hatred for John Winchester. Dean could have been another Garth Brooks or George Strait. He wouldn't be spending evenings in a church discussing his alcoholism. But things happen for a reason. He wouldn't have a ranch he loved. He might have turned out differently. More jaded. More materialistic. Cas had seen it happen to many celebrities.

  
"I'm not strong, Dean. I'm just me." A man that's falling in love with you, Cas finished in his head.

  
"No, Cas, you're proud of who you are." Dean shrugged and sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, hands clasped between his knees, head hanging.

  
"I'm proud of who you are, Dean Winchester." Dean looked up, a dazed expression on his face.

  
"Me? Why, Cas? I was afraid to hold your hand in a side street parking lot. That says a lot about the man my father raised."

  
"What about now?" Cas had to ask. He had to know.

  
"Now?" Dean didn't pretend he wasn't aware of what Cas was asking. "Fuck, Cas, I'd kiss your gorgeous face on the stage of the Grand Ole Opry. I can't lose..." Dean looked so torn, Cas wanted to put him out of his misery, but he had to know. He waited. "...you. I know it's crazy, but I need you, Cas. And if it means following you all over the country, I'm willing to try." Cas knelt on the floor in front of Dean. Dean met his eyes, unflinching.

  
"Knowing you would do that for me tells me a lot, Dean. But I don't want that life for you. You are happy on the ranch with your cows and horses." Dean's face fell and he blinked a few times.

  
"So, you're going to leave."

  
"What? No. We can make this work, Dean. It will take a lot of compromise, but we can do this." The smile Dean gave him took his breath away. It would take work and Cas' schedule would cause strain on them, but Cas had faith. For the first time in his life, he had something to work for. He pulled up Gabriel's number and dialed. "Gabriel, cancel my flight."

  
"Guess you fixed whatever it was making you run."

  
"I think so," Cas said, curling his fingers around Dean's hand. "And Gabriel, we will be sitting down when I get home for a long meeting about my future."

  
"Am I going to like what you have to say?"

  
"If you want me to be happy."

  
"Shit."

  
"Gabriel..."

  
"No. I love you, kid. If he makes you happy, that's all that matters." Cas knew Gabriel meant every word.

  
"I love you too." He ended the call and pulled Dean close. He rested his chin on Dean's shoulder. "It won't be easy," he murmured.

  
"Nothing worth having ever is, Cas."


	11. Chapter 11

They developed a routine over the next few days. Neither mentioned Cas' departure date, but it weighed heavy on Dean's mind. The song had been sent back to Nashville, so Cas' producers could listen to it and make some decisions about its release. Cas had his Christmas song in the can too, so he spent his days on the ranch.

Cas didn't shy away from the day to day chores on a working ranch. He wasn't afraid to get dirty. He also spent a lot of time with his horse. For someone who hated horses, he'd sure fallen for Gaga. As a gift, Dean carved a wooden nameplate for her stall. Benny and Bobby gave Cas a lot of grief for the name, but he laughed it off. He got on well with Bobby, and even Sam and Jo loved him. Benny and Cas were still cautiously friendly towards each other.

Nights were spent in each other's arms. Cas opened up a whole new world for Dean. Sex had always been something Dean did to get off, but now, it was more about the person he was with – the give and take of a real relationship. It wasn't until the night before Cas was slated to leave that they talked about it. Cas went up to Dean's room right after dinner. He'd been quiet all day. Bobby watched him head up the stairs and when Dean got up to follow him, Bobby caught his arm. "Give him a couple of minutes, boy."

Dean yanked his arm away. "He's leaving tomorrow, Bobby. I need to..." Dean cut himself off before he bared his soul in a chick flick moment.

"Have you told him how you feel about him?" Dean shook his head, whether answering Bobby's question or absolute denial, he didn't know. "Idjit."

He bounded up the stairs and skidded to a halt at the door to his room. Cas' suitcase was on the bed and he was carefully folding a pair of jeans. He looked up, his expression unreadable. "You left before dessert." _Fuck, Winchester, is that all you got?_ "Bobby made a blueberry pie. It's not as good as mine, but it's passable."

"I wasn't really hungry, Dean." Cas dropped his eyes to the half-packed suitcase. Dean was at a loss. Should he nut up and tell Cas how he felt and risk rejection? Or should he just keep his stupid mouth shut? He shoved his hands into his pockets and took a step into the room. Cas dropped a handful of socks into his bag.

"Cas, this is probably gonna sound really stupid, but I think I'm going to miss you... a lot."

Cas sat down, looking at his hands. "It doesn't sound stupid. I'm going to miss you too, Dean. More than you know." Dean scuffed at the edge of the rug with the toe of his boot, fighting back the smile wanting to burst through.

"Well, it's not like you're moving to a different country. We can meet up when you're on tour." It wouldn't be enough. It would never be enough.

"Sure, that sounds good," murmured Cas. He didn't sound very convincing. Dean took another step closer and reached out to brush Cas' unruly hair from his face. He took a deep breath. This was it. This was his chance.

"Cas, that won't be enough for me. I don't just want to be a random fuck when you pass through town. I want more." Cas' head lifted and Dean saw his own insecurities mirrored in Cas' eyes. Cas stood up and enveloped Dean in his arms. Dean rested his chin on Cas' shoulder. "I think I love you," he whispered and Cas' arms tightened.

"Thank God I'm not the only one." Dean pulled away and at Cas' sheepish smile, he began to laugh. He pushed Cas down onto the bed and fell on top of him. With a wave of his arm, the suitcase toppled to the floor. Their kisses deepened and all Dean wanted was for this moment in time to go on forever. He could feel Cas' smile under his mouth. Cas tilted his head back, letting Dean take control. Dean's mouth grazed Cas' cheek, loving the rasp of stubble against his lips. Cas mumbled soft, incoherent words as he rolled his hips up into the vee of Dean's legs. Dean lifted his head and stared into Cas' lust darkened eyes. He was so perfect. "Want you, Dean."

Dean rolled off and stood on shaky legs. He made quick work of his clothes, tossing them anywhere and everywhere. Cas reclined on his elbows, watching intently. Dean took his erection in his hand and stroked it a couple of times, squeezing out a drop of precum. Cas moved quickly, on his hands and knees he crawled to the edge of the bed and lapped at Dean's slit. Cas' tongue continued its exploration until Dean was sure Cas could hear the rapid beating of his heart. "Jesus, Babe, are you trying to kill me?" He tangled his fingers in Cas' hair, fucking into his mouth slowly. It was so hot watching his shaft disappearing into Cas' mouth only to reappear, slick with spit seconds later. Cas hummed and Dean let his head fall backwards. He reveled in the feeling of being taken apart piece by piece. When his legs started to get weak, he tugged at Cas' hair. "You gotta stop or this will be over way sooner than I want."

Cas licked his lips and sat back on his haunches. "And you have got to get those clothes off, Babe."

Cas reached down to pull his shirt over his head, but Dean swatted his hands away. "Let me." Soon, Cas' clothes littered the floor and he was gloriously naked. His cock jutted out, hard and beautiful. Dean knelt on the bed and took Cas' face in his hands. He kissed him, slow and easy, using his tongue to part Cas' lips. He took Cas' lower lip between his teeth until Cas growled and flipped him onto his back. Cas lifted one eyebrow and damned if he didn't look like a dom in some kinky porn video. All he needed was a riding crop and leather pants. The picture made Dean's cock throb.

Without a word, Cas reached for the bedside table. Dean parted his legs in anticipation of feeling Cas' fingers in his hole. His breath caught in his throat when Cas took his lube slick fingers and reached behind him. "Cas..."

"Shhh, I need this, Dean." Up until then, Dean assumed Cas was a top. Dean took the condom from Cas' other hand and rolled it onto his cock. He watched, in silence, as Cas opened himself up. _Jesus Fucking Christ, this is the hottest fuckin' thing I've ever seen_.

Cas shifted until he was poised over Dean's cock. Dean held the base of his dick and groaned as Cas impaled himself. Sweat beaded on Cas' forehead and he was biting his lip so hard, Dean thought he was going to draw blood. "Cas, you weren't ready, man. Stop." Cas just shook his head vehemently. With his palms splayed across Dean's chest, he began to breathe more evenly. He rocked his hips forward and then back. Dean ran his hands over Cas' taut thighs. He felt the flex of the muscles under his palms as Cas began to ride him.

The catch and drag on his cock was driving Dean closer to coming. He wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. He let his hand move up Cas' thigh and combed his fingers through Cas' thick bush before wrapping his fingers around his lover's shaft. Cas' whimper was his undoing. He stroked him hard and fast, subconsciously knowing it was what Cas needed. "Dean... Dean..." Cas' breath was coming in short gasps now. He was close. Dean could actually see his balls tightening against his body. Yeah, he was close.

"Come for me, Cas. Come on me." Cas' hips lost their rhythm and his blunt nails dug into Dean's chest. His mouth opened in a silent scream as hot cum splashed onto Dean's belly. Dean bent his knees and dug his heels into the mattress and thrust up into Cas' pliant body. Cas' hooded eyes watched him as he fell into the abyss.

***

Castiel didn't bottom often. Mainly because he needed to trust someone before giving in. Strings of one night stands didn't bring out trust, nor did most of the short term relationships he'd had. With Dean, he felt the need. He wanted it to burn, so he'd be reminded of Dean for days afterwards. He relished the pain as he sank down onto Dean. Dean's eyes rarely slipped away from his during the entire time they'd been joined.

The hot shower afterwards was just as intimate as the sex had been. They washed each other, murmuring soft words of encouragement and sharing contented smiles. The thought of leaving this man was tearing out his heart though. He didn't sleep. He watched Dean's chest rise and fall while he listened to the soft snores.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Bobby ate quickly and left them alone. Dean cleared the table and stacked the dishes in the sink. "I should get my car loaded," he said softly.

"Yeah. I'll just... finish here." He walked up the stairs like he was a doomed man facing a firing squad. He zipped his suitcase shut after he packed his toiletries. As an afterthought, he unzipped it and took one of Dean's shirts out of the laundry bin. He held it to his face. Horse, sweat and a scent that was all Dean flooded his senses. He shoved it in the bag and closed it up.

Downstairs, he waited by the door as Dean dried his hands. The dishes were all draining in the rack. Normally, Dean used the dishwasher. Cas could understand the need for his lover to stay busy. Loosely holding hands, they walked to the barn. Dean let him go say goodbye to Bobby and Benny.

"Don't be a stranger, boy," Bobby said gruffly.

"I won't." The older man looked at him, eyes narrowed.

"He cares about you. And I think you care about him. Please don't break his heart."

"I'm more in danger of getting mine broken," Cas confessed, blinking rapidly to hold back tears.

"He's not going anywhere, son." Cas nodded and turned away.

Benny was in the tack room, soaping down a saddle. "Benny..." He held out his hand. "It was nice to meet you." Benny clasped it firmly, almost painfully.

"So, you're just going to leave." The tone was accusatory.

"What would you have me do? I've got commitments. I can't walk away from those."

"But you can walk away from him," Benny spat out.

"I'm not... I wouldn't." Hard eyes bore into his. "I love him." Benny's eyes widened. "I'll figure out something."

"I don't know why, but I believe you, Novak. You prove me wrong, and I will hunt you down." Cas didn't think that was an empty threat. Dean, for all his stubborn ways, drew people's loyalty. Cas gave him a curt nod and turned on his heel. He had one more stop to make.

The mare leaned over the half door of her stall. Cas ran his fingers over the carved name. "Dean will take care of you for me, Sweetheart. I promise I'll be back." He buried his face in her coarse mane, fingers splayed over her warm coat. He didn't know how long he stood like that before he felt a hand on the small of his back.

"Cas, you're gonna miss your flight." They'd agreed that it would be stupid for Dean to go to the airport with him. He had to return the rental, so Dean would have to take his own vehicle. It was a waste of time. Dean had already stowed his suitcase in the car and now, they stood next to it and for the first time neither had words. Cas stared down at their clasped hands and rubbed his thumb over Dean's knuckles. He loved Dean's hands – work worn and tanned from the hot Texas sun. The callouses felt good on his skin. "I..." Dean started, but he couldn't seem to speak anymore.

Cas brushed his lips softly over Dean's. "I know." Dean released his hand and Cas got into the car. The ride into town was long and lonely. He barely noticed the tracks of tears on his face.

The airport was bustling and while he got a few stares, no one approached him, and for that, he was grateful. Cas Novak could not be 'on' for anyone right now. He settled into his seat in first class and dug out his iPad. He'd play solitaire to keep his mind off of missing Dean.

Halfway into the flight, the flight attendant stopped to offer him a beverage. He looked up and shook his head, giving her a parody of a smile. She leaned over. "Sir, are you okay?"

"Yes..." His voice cracked and he looked away. She laid a supportive hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze before moving on. So much for keeping his mind off Dean.

Gabriel met him at the Nashville airport. "Damn, Casticle, you look like shit." Cas put on his sunglasses and ignored his older brother. He waited patiently for his bag to come around on the carousel. Gabriel must have sensed his mood because he didn't speak again until they got in the car. Gabriel drove a pretentious Mercedes convertible. He put the top down while they were still parked. Cas let his head fall back on the seat and rubbed the smooth stone through the denim pocket. Somehow the small bit of Texas he'd found swimming with Dean grounded him.

All too soon, the gates of his house were before them. Gabriel punched in the code and they swung open. As he pulled the car to a stop at the front doors, Gabriel sighed dramatically. "What's going on, Cas?"

Cas swallowed. He wasn't ready for this. He knew he'd have to talk to his brother eventually, but not when he was still raw. "Just tired."

"Bullshit." Gabriel turned in the seat to face him. "I listened to the song, you know. The producers loved it. They want it on the new CD even though they know Winchester won't agree to ever sing it live. It has the potential to be a hit."

"I know." He'd known all along that Dean's voice harmonizing with his own would get airplay. It was just a gut feeling.  
"Cas, Christ, you know I give you a lot of shit, but you're my brother and I love you. If you want to talk, I'm here."

"I... I fell in love." Gabriel let out a loud exhale.

"Okay, gotta admit, I wasn't expecting that. I've seen pictures of Winchester and hell, I'd go gay for him. I kind of expected you and him to knock boots, but love... wow... and you're sure?"

"Yes." Cas hand wrapped around the stone and squeezed it tight.

***

Dean had a lot to keep him busy. It was time for the sales, so he spent a lot of time getting the young cattle ready for the stockyards. He had a lot of buyers come for his horses. Staying absorbed in ranch work should have made missing Cas easier to deal with, but it didn’t. They talked nightly. The sound of his voice soothed Dean and made it real. Cas was back on tour and the CD was scheduled to be released next month.

He felt he was on a downward spiral. Nothing held his interest and he lived for Cas' calls. He'd been gone nine days. Just nine fuckin' days. He rode Jude down the driveway to the mailbox on Friday morning, humming their song under his breath. When he opened it, there was a large manila envelope addressed to him, and with a return address to a post office box in Nashville. He slid his finger under the flap and let the contents fall into his palm. A VIP badge for a Cas Novak concert, an airline ticket in his name, and a folded piece of stationery.

**Dear Dean-Oh,**  
**My darling brother is pining for you. He has drawn little hearts all over everything. It's actually pretty sickening. He stares off into space with these googly eyes. It made me throw up in my mouth a little.**  
**Seriously though, he misses you and from the way he says 'Dean says this' and 'Dean did that', I know you are talking to him daily. I'm guessing you miss him too. In fact, I'm counting on it. If I find out you're playing him, I have the ways and means to make your life a living hell.**  
**But enough of the big brother speech, Cas will be performing in Albuquerque on Sunday night. I've enclosed an airline ticket, a VIP backstage pass and have arranged for a car to pick you up.**  
**No thanks necessary. However, I have a deep love of all things sweet. Edible things. And just an FYI, don't go and spill the beans – this is supposed to be a surprise.**  
**Gabe Novak**

The guy was funny, Dean would give him that. He'd known about the concert. He knew Cas' entire tour schedule. It was written out and held by a magnet on the fridge. He tucked the badge and ticket back into the envelope, and stacked it with the other mail before nudging Jude with his heels. With a laugh, he kicked him and leaned over his neck. The horse broke into a swift gallop and both Bobby and Benny looked up when Jude skidded to a stop in front of the barn.

"What lit a fire under your ass, boy?"

"I'm going to Albuquerque Sunday to see Cas," he crowed, not caring if he sounded like a teenager with his first crush.

"Sunday? When will you be back? We have two buyers coming in Monday," Benny reminded him.

Dean's face fell. He'd completely forgotten. Those guys were looking to race his horses. It would mean a new and lucrative market for the ranch.

"Fuck," he muttered. He couldn't go. There was no way he could miss meeting the two men.

"If I remember correctly, they aren't coming until the afternoon. If you fly, you could be home in time," Bobby suggested, getting the evil eye from Benny. What was up with him lately?

"Cas' brother sent me a ticket, the return trip is open-end." Dean would need to call the airlines and make sure he could get a flight out after the concert. Benny turned and stomped off towards the feed room. "What's crawled up his ass?"

Bobby shrugged. "I think he's feeling a bit protective of you."

"Yeah, well, he's my sponsor, not my fuckin' babysitter," Dean said, frustration evident in his voice. He knew he'd need to have a conversation with Benny, but for now, he needed to make arrangements for his return flight.

Dean made his call to the airlines confirming his flight back would leave Albuquerque at seven Monday morning and touchdown at eleven. It would give him two hours to get back to the ranch. Benny and Bobby could have the horses ready to be shown. Once that was taken care of, he went in search of Benny. He found him stacking bags of feed. "I'm going to need you to help Bobby on Monday to get the yearlings washed and groomed."

"Figured as much," Benny muttered, not looking up.

"You don't have to protect me, Benny, I'm a grown ass man."

"Yep."

"That's it? That's all you're going to say?" Dean put a booted foot on top of the next bag of feed, preventing Benny from moving it. It forced the man to straighten and look at Dean.

"What do you want me to say, brother? Do you want my blessing? Do you want me to say that I'm not going to worry about you when you're hanging out with all those musicians? Christ, Dean, you led that life and look what happened."

Dean counted to ten before responding because his temper was simmering just below the surface. "I did lead that life, Benny. But that life isn't what landed me neck deep in a bottle. It was my father and how I never was good enough for him. Never wrote enough songs. Never made enough money. Never booked enough packed houses. Never was... man enough." Dean dragged his fingers through his hair. "Damn it, Benny, I fuckin' deserve to be happy."

Benny smiled then and before Dean could react, he was enveloped in a bear hug that threatened to squeeze the life out of him. "I've been waiting a long time for you to say those words. And I guess you do have my blessing."

"Asshole," Dean mumbled against Benny's shirt.

Saturday, Dean spent the day going over the yearlings and picking out which ones he was going to show the visitors. Sunday found him at the airport. Bobby dropped him off an hour before his flight. He hated flying. Truth be told, he was terrified of being in a long, metal tube hurtling through the air at breakneck speed. As he took his seat, he thought of his call from Cas last night. He'd been on the bus heading to New Mexico and he knew today he'd be doing sound checks. Dean didn't let on that he was going to be there. Cas had a couple of days off in mid-August and he'd planned on coming back to the ranch.

"Nothing worth having is easy," Dean mumbled to himself. That had become his mantra over the last couple of weeks. As the jet revved its engines for takeoff, Dean leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He'd be seeing Cas in a few hours. He could get through this.


	12. Chapter 12

From the moment he arrived in Nashville to now, Cas had been running wide open. Thankfully, when he fell into bed each night, it meant he went right to sleep and didn't have time to miss Dean. He made the time between rehearsals, meetings, and studio recordings to call Dean and they shared a few texts. With the show in Albuquerque tonight, he was feeling tired and irritable. The sound checks went off without a hitch and he had a couple of hours to kill before the curtains went up.

In the room set up for him and his band, Cas ate off the craft services table. There was the obligatory cheese and meat trays, fresh fruit, bins of ice and soft drinks, and a large bowl of assorted candy. That was Gabe's doing. After the concert, Cas knew there would be platters of burgers, a baked potato bar and several salads. He picked at the food he'd loaded on his plate. Meg, Luc, Ed, Anna and Harry were lounging around on the various couches on their iPads and phones. The time before a concert was usually quiet.

"Where's Gabriel?" Cas asked, just noticing his brother wasn't around bothering him like usual.

Anna, his fiddle player, glanced up from her tablet. "He said something about picking up a VIP from the airport." Cas narrowed his eyes. A VIP? Gabriel hadn't mentioned it. It wasn't unusual for someone from the label or the entertainment industry to attend one of his concerts, but it was strange that Gabriel was going to pick him up. He usually got Balthazar or one of the other drivers to handle stuff like that.

He pulled out his phone and sent a text.

**Text to Gabriel/6:43 – Who is the VIP?**

**Text from Gabriel/6:44 – Someone from the label.**

**Text to Gabriel/6:45 – Who?**

He got no response. After waiting an entire minute, Cas sent another text.

**Text to Dean/6:46 – I miss you.**

**Text from Dean/6:47 – I miss you too.**

**Text to Dean/6:48 – Wish you were here.**

**Text from Dean/6:49 – LOL At your concert? We wouldn't get to spend any time 2gether.**

**Text to Dean/6:50 – True, but at least I'd know you were here.**

**Text from Dean/6:51 – Sap.**

Cas didn't know how long he stared at his phone with the stupid grin on his face, but when he finally glanced up, his whole band was watching him. "What?"

"Just wondering what put that dopey look on your face," Luc, his lead guitarist, said. "Someone sending you pussy pics? Or dick pics?"

"No. It's just a friend." No need to give them something else to gossip about. There was already speculation about him and Dean because of the song and him going to Texas to record it. He was sure a few of them had Googled Dean's name. So far, no one had made any condescending comments. They knew his temper. Luc's comment gave him pause though. He'd have to ask Dean for a dick pic.

The door burst open and Gabriel waltzed in. "An hour before showtime, Ladies and Gentlemen. Everyone hydrated and feeling good?" The band made a few comments and when he was satisfied, Gabriel plopped down next to Cas. "How goes it, Little Bro?"

"Same shit, different day," was Cas' dry comment. Towards the end of the last tour, he'd gotten burned out. The break and the time with Dean should have helped, but he was actually dreading going out on stage. Gabriel gave him a concerned look.

"You still pining over Winchester?" Thankfully, he kept his voice down. Cas' eyes touched on his band. No one was paying attention to them and he sighed in relief.

"I'm not pining. I just... miss him." Expecting to be ridiculed by his brother, Cas was shocked when Gabriel stood and nodded for Cas to follow him. Gabriel led him down the narrow hallway to the door that opened to the outside area. The buses and the semi that hauled their gear were lined up. "What do you want, Gabriel? I've got to start getting dressed."

"I had one of the roadies take your clothes back to the bus. You can change there."

"What the fuck?" Cas grabbed his brother's arm and spun him around. "What is going on?"

"Cas." The voice was very familiar, but it didn't register with him because Dean couldn't be here. He glared at Gabriel like everything wrong in the universe was his fault. "Cas, please don't kill your brother. He's the one that got me here."

Cas looked up and standing in the doorway of his bus was Dean. Dressed in tight fitting jeans, polished boots and a denim shirt, he looked like heaven. "Dean." He knew he should move, but his feet were frozen to the ground. Finally, Gabriel gave him a little push.

"You've got..." He glanced at his watch. "...46 minutes to greet your boyfriend and get dressed before showtime. I've arranged for you guys to have a few hours after the concert to sex each other up before we have to hit the road, so don't be late, Cassie." Cas walked slowly forward. Dean was here. That meant...

"You were here when you were texting me?" Dean managed a sheepish look.

"I was still in the car with Gabe." His smile faltered and he added, "This was your brother's idea. Not that I'm not happy to be here, because I am, but if... I know I should have cleared it with you first. It probably wasn't smart to spring this on..." Cas cut off his nervous litany with a brutal kiss. He put every hour of missing Dean into it. He felt Dean's hands at his waist and then one was in his hair. It was like Dean was trying to crawl inside of him. He moaned into Dean's mouth.

"Missed you...so much...love you..." Cas couldn't stop whispering the words against Dean's lips.

"Well...well...well...who do we have here?" Cas growled and released Dean. Meg had approached them without either one being aware of her. She was already dressed to take the stage. Painted on red jeans, black boots and a leather bustier that bared her trim stomach and made her tits look bigger than they actually were.

"I'll be there in a minute, Meg," Cas said dismissively.

"Since Cas isn't going to introduce us..." She strutted forward and edged up next to Cas. Meg held out her hand to Dean and Dean, being a gentlemen, shook it. "Meg Masters and you are..." Meg wasn't stupid. She knew who Dean was. Cas fumed, but kept his cool. She was wasting his precious time with Dean.

"Dean. Dean Winchester."

"Ah...the Boy Wonder that caught our illustrious leader. Congrats," she purred, running her hand up Cas' bare arm possessively. Cas pushed her hand away and she just laughed. Dean took a step forward, getting in her personal space. His expression appeared neutral, but his voice was low and cold.

"It was really nice to meet you... _Meg_...but Cas and I want to be alone." She tossed her hair back and tried to act like she wasn't bothered, but Cas knew her too well. She pasted on a smile.

"Of course. I was just out here to make sure Cas wasn't late. We don't want to keep the fans waiting." She turned to flounce away, but Dean wasn't finished with her.

"Hey, Meg..." She turned. "I'm not really good with sharing, so keep your hands off Cas." Cas had never seen Meg speechless before. She stood there working her mouth like a beached fish and then stomped off. Cas threw back his head and laughed. Dean's face reddened. "Hey, I'm sorry if I overstepped any boundaries. We haven't talked about being exclusive."

Cas wrapped his palm around the back of Dean's neck and brought their foreheads together. "I'm yours and you're mine. Exclusively. And just so you know – I don't share either."

***

When Dean exited the plane, he hitched his backpack over his shoulder and headed towards the baggage claim area. He didn't have luggage, but didn't know where else to go. As he came through the gate, he saw a guy holding a sign that read 'Winchester'. The man was shorter than him by a few inches with sandy brown hair. "I'm Dean Winchester."

The man removed the Tootsie Roll Pop from his mouth and said, "Of course you are. Follow me, Kiddo." He was a bit cocky for a driver, but Dean let the guy lead him out in the warm New Mexico evening. A black SUV was parked in the loading zone. How did he manage that without getting towed? The guy didn't even hold the door for Dean. It wasn't like Dean needed it, but weren't drivers supposed to do that? He'd definitely be talking to Gabe Novak about this dude. Before Dean could even get his seatbelt fastened, the driver darted out into the busy airport traffic.

"Hey, does your boss know you drive like a maniac?" All he got for his outburst was a grin. Dean quickly wrapped his hand around the 'oh shit' handle as the needle on the speedometer increased. "Seriously, you need to slow the fuck down, Asshole," Dean snarled. With an exaggerated sigh, the driver tapped the brakes.

"You are no fun. I can't understand how my baby brother fell for a man with a big stick up his ass." Wait... realization hit Dean like a freight train.

"You're Gabe... Gabriel?" Dean couldn't hide his shock. How did he rate getting Cas' brother-slash-agent-slash-manager to pick him up from the airport?

"You can call me Gabe. Most people do. Except for Castanet. He always uses my given name."

"Castanet? That's Cas' real name?"

Gabe took his eyes off the road to look at Dean. "It's a good thing you're pretty."

"Hey..."

"He was born Castiel James Novak. Our parents were religious freaks. They named us after angels. Guess they hoped we'd live up to the heavenly hype. Bless their hearts," he finished bitterly. "But hey, enough about them. Cas has no idea you're coming, right?"

"Right." As if by divine intervention, Dean's phone pinged with an incoming text. Cas' 'I miss you' made Dean smile. Wanting to keep with the surprise, Dean didn't let on he was currently on his way to Cas' concert. When he put his phone away, he caught the knowing smirk on Gabe's face. "Shut up."

Gabe, with the dramatic flair of a broadway actor, placed his hand over his heart. "Whatever do you mean, Kind Sir?" The embellished southern accent made Dean cringe. Gabe's snort of laughter rubbed Dean the wrong way, but he was Cas' brother and he didn't want to get on his bad side.

A few minutes of silence settled in the vehicle while Gabe navigated through traffic. Dean noticed the signs for the Isleta Amphitheater. Gabe pulled into the venue and parked behind a row of buses and semis. Dean recognized Cas' bus immediately. "Alright, Dean-o, here's the plan." He glanced at his watch. "You'll have roughly an hour to do whatever you want to do, but that has to include getting him dressed for the concert. Got it?"

"Got it." Dean's heart sank. Was that all the alone time he'd have with Cas?

"Once he takes the stage, you will be in the wings with me, so you can watch the whole thing. After he performs his encore song, I'm giving you two about two hours before we have to roll out of here. I'll drop you off at a hotel near the airport on my way there. I'm guessing you can find your own way to your plane in the morning?"

"I think I can manage," Dean said dryly.

"Now, for the fun part. You get to hide out in the bus while I get my baby brother out to you."

Dean had about ten minutes to be nosy. Cas' bus was opulent. Rich wood paneling lined the walls and on the granite counters, Dean found a bottle of champagne. He picked it up and whistled. Back in the day, that bottle would have cost him about two hundred dollars. He couldn't even imagine what it cost now.

When he was done fantasizing over what he could do with Cas in the bedroom, he made his way forward. He saw Gabe and Cas approaching. He waited at the door and had to admit a bitchy Cas was freakin' adorable. After the surprise, while Cas stood dumbfounded at Dean's appearance, that bitch started her shit. No one was going to paw his man. It wasn't until he acted like a complete jerk towards Meg that he realized he may have overstepped his boundaries. He and Cas never talked about having an exclusive relationship. And Dean was pretty good at reading people and he figured Cas and Meg may have had a history. It wasn't something he wanted to think about right now.

After Meg was gone, Dean stumbled through his apology, but Cas' words burned into his soul. "I'm yours and you're mine. Exclusively. And just so you know – I don't share either." Then it was tongues and teeth. Fingers scratching and bruising. A primal lust came over both of them and laughingly, it was Dean whose brain cleared first. "Don't have a lot of time," he mumbled against the sensitive skin under Cas' ear. "Let me suck your cock. Let me make you feel good, Cas."

Somehow, without separating, the two manage to get inside the bus. Just barely. Dean drops to his knees fast enough that he's going to feel it tomorrow. Cas' long fingers are already dragging through his hair while he gets his lover's jeans and boxers down to mid-thigh. He nuzzles against Cas' balls, inhaling the heady scent that is all man...all Cas. When he begins laving them with his tongue, Cas' hips stutter under Dean's hands and a soft sound escapes his lips. Dean smiles. Knowing he is causing Cas to lose control is the best feeling in the world. He tongues up the underside of Cas' cock, loving the sensation of pulsing blood just under the velvety skin. The small practical side of Dean knows he had to speed this up, so without warning, he swallows Cas' cock. "Fuck...Dean..."

Dean enjoys giving head, especially to Cas, but the thrill of getting Cas off in a set time makes it even better. He pulls out all the stops and within minutes, Cas is moaning like a porn star and Dean's hair is getting pulled to the point of being painful. The only warning Dean gets is Cas' quick inhalation and he stiffens. The bitter splash of cum on his tongue and down his throat rewards him for his efforts. Cas is trembling now and, still on his knees, Dean guides him down to the couch.

He sits back on his haunches, jeans painfully tight, and gazes at his debauched lover. Cas' hair is damp at the temples and a sheen of sweat covers his forehead and upper lip. His skin has the rosy afterglow. His, now flaccid, cock lies nestled in the thick, dark curls, wet with Dean's spit. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean catches the time on the microwave. "As much as I want to get you naked and fuck you on that bed back there, you have to get dressed, Babe."

Cas, still looking unsteady on his feet, stands and reaches out a hand to haul Dean to his feet. Dean follows him to the bedroom where his clothes for the night's performance are laid out. His boots and hat are on the dresser. They are black. He wonders how many pairs of boots the man has. He imagines every company that makes 'em wants Cas to wear their product on stage.

In the tiny bathroom, Cas his running a wet washcloth over his body. He's stripped down to his boxers and Dean was getting an eyeful of glorious bare skin. He let himself stare. The tiny mole above his right nipple...the smattering of freckles on his chest and belly...the line of dark hair that led down to Dean's happy place. When Cas turned to come out to dress, Dean snapped a picture on his phone. He needed it for his long, lonely nights without Cas. Cas rolled his eyes, but the slight upturn of his upper lip showed Dean he didn't really mind.

Just as Cas tugged on his second boot, there was a banging on the bus' door.

***

Cas had had a lot of blowjobs, but this one was, by far, the best he'd ever had. Maybe it was the fact that it was on his tour bus knowing someone could walk in at any second. Maybe it was that he was just missing Dean and having him show up unexpectedly. Or maybe it was just that it was Dean and he was in love with the man on his knees worshiping his cock.

All too soon, it was over. Dean's face was flushed and his lips...God, those lips...were red, swollen and wet with spit and cum. He was beautiful. "As much as I want to get you naked and fuck you on that bed back there, you have to get dressed, Babe." Cas knew he was right and if he didn't have thirteen thousand fans waiting for him, he'd have just said fuck it and run away with Dean. Hell, he'd have driven the bus himself – to someplace quiet where no one could find them.

Dean sprawled across his bed watching him dress, the bulge in his jeans now at a more comfortable looking state. He felt guilty for not having the time to take care of Dean, but he'd make up for it later. He sat down on the edge of the bed to pull on his boots and someone, Gabriel if he had to guess, was banging on the door.

"Hope you are both decent...or at least dressed," came Balthazar's voice from the front of the bus. He appeared in the door of the bedroom, a hand over his eyes. "I was sent to make sure you didn't lose track of time."

"We're dressed, Zar," Cas said with a shake of his head. Was everyone on his staff a drama queen? Balthazar removed his hand and smiled serenely.

"Lovely, now, get your tight ass moving and you..." He pointed to Dean. "...follow me." Cas kissed Dean on his way out the door.

"See you soon," he called over his shoulder. He jogged to the metal door that led to the backstage area. He could already hear the crowd. With the venue being outdoors, he'd be sweating tonight, but being able to look up and see the stars was pretty amazing. Gabriel gave him a knowing smirk when he met him just behind the stage area.

"Ready?"

"Yes," Cas replied and watched Gabriel give the nod to the stagehand. From his vantage point, he saw the curtain part and his band began to play the opening notes of one of his more popular songs. He counted out the tempo in his head and then walked onto center stage. The crowd roared. Cas, playing his part, waved to the crowd. "Hello, Albuquerque," he yelled into the microphone Meg handed him.

He went right into the first song of the set. Between songs, he introduced his band and chatted with the audience a bit. He picked out the journalists just to the left of the stage and knew they'd review his performance and it would be all over CMT and social media. He'd always gotten good reviews and he kept his nose clean. Other than the announcement that he was bisexual, he'd never done anything controversial. He was Nashville's golden boy according to Gabriel.

The show progressed and he was drenched in sweat. He'd tossed his hat to a stagehand about midway through and shook his hair out, sending the fangirls into screaming fits as droplets were caught in the lights from the stage. He'd glanced over at Dean then, hidden behind the curtain at the edge of the stage. Dean had been grinning. He grinned back and winked. Flashbulbs were going off left and right.

At the end of the show, he and his band took a bow and the stage went dark as the curtain closed. Gabriel was right there with a towel and a bottle of Gatorade. By now, the band had picked up Dean's presence. Meg was keeping to herself as she downed her water, but the others were actively staring. Cas stepped carefully over the cables and pulled Dean into his arms. "This okay?" He whispered into Dean's ear. He wasn't sure how Dean felt about public displays of affection. Dean's answer was a kiss, quick and chaste, but his arms tightened, holding Cas close.

"You're sweaty. Gotta say, Babe, it's turning me on," Dean teased. The chanting of the audience for their encore song drowned out Cas' response, but he knew Dean caught his grin. Gabriel appeared beside them and gave Cas a raised eyebrow. Cas, fluent in all things Gabriel, nodded and his brother strode over to the head roadie. The stage lights flickered back on and the curtain parted as the band took their places.

With one more kiss to Dean, Cas made his way to the stool that was now set up center stage. His guitar was propped next to it. He picked it up and sat down. The crowd quieted. Cas watched his own fingers move over the strings before looking up.

_**Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low** _  
_**Put some music on that's soft and slow** _  
_**Baby we ain't got no place to go** _  
_**I hope you understand** _

It was then that Cas realized, that although he had sung this song thousands of times, it had never meant what it did at this exact moment. His eyes darted to Dean and he held his gaze. The audience seemed to feel the change because normally they sang along with this one, but now there was just silence.

**_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long_ **  
**_Never felt a feeling quite this strong_ **  
**_I can't believe how much it turns me on_ **  
**_Just to be your man_ **

He tuned out the flash of cameras. He even forgot his band was behind him. He was singing his song...this song...directly to the man he loved. Dean's expression was one of wonderment.

**_There's no hurry_ **  
**_Don't you worry_ **  
**_We can take our time_ **  
**_Come a little closer_ **  
**_Let's go over_ **  
**_What I had in mind_ **

He licked his lips and watched as Dean's teeth caught his own bottom lip. The silence was deafening now. Even the band's normal decibel level quieted.

**_Baby lock the door and turn the lights down low_ **  
**_Put some music on that's soft and slow_ **  
**_Baby we ain't got no place to go_ **  
**_I hope you understand_ **

**_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long_ **  
**_Never felt a feeling quite this strong_ **  
**_I can't believe how much it turns me on_ **  
**_Just to be your man_ **

**_Ain't nobody ever love nobody_ **  
**_The way that I love you_ **  
**_We're alone now_ **  
**_You don't know how_ **  
**_Long I've wanted to_ **

Cas became aware that he was playing the song acoustically now. One by one, his band had dropped out. He risked a glance behind him. Lucifer's guitar hung against him, silent. Ed's hands were resting on top of his bass. Cain was twirling his drumsticks, a soft smile on his lips. Harry sat relaxed on his piano bench. Anna's fiddle was down at her waist, the bow hanging from the fingertips of her other hand. And then there was Meg. She stood at her keyboards, a look of resignation on her face. His eyes drifted back to Dean as he finished up the song.

**_Lock the door and turn the lights down low_ **  
**_Put some music on that's soft and slow_ **  
**_Baby we ain't got no place to go_ **  
**_I hope you understand_ **

**_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long_ **  
**_never felt a feeling that was quite this strong_ **  
**_I can't believe how much it turns me on_ **  
**_Just to be your man_ **  
**_I Can't believe how much it turns me on_ **  
**_Just to be your man_ **

The notes ended and his fingers rested over the strings. He looked out towards his fans and the place erupted. He gave them a soft smile and bowed his head. The curtain closed.

"Holy fuckin' Christ," Luc shouted to be heard over the explosive clapping, stomping and cheering from the fans. Dean took a tentative step towards him and stopped. Cas realized he was still seated, his guitar resting uselessly on his lap. He stood up and lifted the strap over his head. A stagehand appeared and took it from him. He grabbed Dean's hand and just about dragged him from the stage. They only had a couple of hours and he wasn't going to waste a single minute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Cas sings is Josh Turner's Your Man. If you haven't heard it - go check it out.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a long while between updates, but for all who sent good thoughts and prayers, the surgery went okay. Now, it is just letting my body adjust. But I am happy to be back and writing again. 
> 
> Because I made you wait, this chapter is a tad longer than usual and there is some pretty good sex between our boys. Hope you enjoy.

Dean followed Cas' driver into a darkened corridor and then up some metal steps. "You will have the best view in the house, my friend," he said in his lightly accented voice. Dean couldn't place it. French maybe? With something else tossed in for good measure? He positioned Dean to the side of a metal structure and all the old memories came back to Dean. The excitement before he took the stage. The roadies and stagehands scrambling about making sure everything was perfect. He felt a twinge of longing.

  
Cas' band took their places and then he saw Cas on the other side of the stage talking to Gabe. He could almost feel the electricity already coming from the crowd. From his vantage point, he could see a tiny slit in the curtains. All those people came to see Cas. His Cas.

  
The curtains opened, the band started playing and then Cas ran to center stage. The blood seemed to pound through his veins as he watched his lover sing song after song. The audience cheered and applauded so loud it made the stage under his feet vibrate. It was hard to take his eyes off Cas, but Dean did look at the members of Cas' band. The redhead on the fiddle was pretty hot, then again, so was the older guy on the drums. From where he stood, Meg had her back to him, but he could see everyone else clearly.

  
By the end of the concert, Dean was sweating from the lighting and he could see that Cas was drenched. He tossed his hat a long time ago and his hair was soaked. He could see where the back of his shirt was sticking to his back. Dean wanted to lick the sweat off Cas' body. The lights dimmed and the curtains closed. From experience, Dean knew Cas would do one last song as the encore. Usually, a singer saved his biggest hit for the end. The crowd began to chant Cas' name, peppered in with shouts of 'more' and 'Your Man'.

  
Gabe dodged the cables and cords and handed Cas a towel and a bottled sports drink. Dean felt all eyes on him and he tried not to show how out of place he felt. Cas made his way to him and pulled him into his arms. "This okay?" The words were breathed into his ear. A year ago...hell, six months ago...Dean would have been mortified that another man was holding him like this in public, but this was Cas. Cas had showed him how to love. He gave Cas a quick peck on his lips, but his arms tightened to show Cas he wasn't afraid.

  
"You're sweaty. Gotta say, Babe, it's turning me on." Dean couldn't help but tease the other man. His shirt was soaked through. Dean knew from experience that outdoor venues were great unless it was the dead of summer or a thunderstorm happened. Cas murmured something against his ear, but the crowd's overwhelming excitement made it impossible to hear.

  
Gabe picked that time to come up to them and he and Cas did this silent communication thing. Cas' brother made his way to one of the roadies and the stage lights came back on. Seconds later, the curtain parted. Cas gave Dean another kiss and one last lingering look that promised good things to come before he took his place. A guitar was leaning against a stool and Cas picked it up as the crowd roared. When he slung the strap over his shoulder and sat, everything quieted.

  
Dean watched Cas' fingers pluck the strings and then he began to sing. Over the last month, Dean had listened to this song a few times. It was Cas' highest selling and it had stayed at the top of the country music charts for two months running. Yes, Dean had checked Cas' stats, not that he'd tell anyone.

  
Cas' clear baritone serenaded his fans and they began singing along. Just seconds into it, Cas' expression changed subtly. If Dean hadn't been intimate with Cas, he might have missed it. But Dean had and he didn't. Cas' eyes found Dean's. As if sensing something, the crowd's voices tapered off. Now, Cas was singing the song directly to Dean and Dean felt his heartbeat quicken. The sudden sense of awe shown out of Dean's eyes and a smile touched his lips. So, this was what love felt like.

  
Unaware that the band had stopped playing, because he'd tuned everything out but Cas' voice, Dean let his teeth drag over his bottom lip when Cas licked his. It was like they were the only two people in the universe. It wasn't until Cas' eyes narrowed for a second and then left Dean's to look at his band that Dean followed his gaze. No one was playing but Cas. Cas, ever the professional, never missed a single word or chord and there was a slight lift to the right side of his mouth when he returned his eyes to Dean.

  
**_I've been thinking 'bout this all day long_**  
**_never felt a feeling that was quite this strong_**  
**_I can't believe how much it turns me on_**  
**_Just to be your man_**  
**_I can't believe how much it turns me on_**  
**_Just to be your man_**

  
The next few minutes went by in a blur. One second, Dean was watching his lover sing to him and the next, said lover was whisking him by the hand through the maze of crates and roadies. He let himself be dragged down the metal steps and out the door to where the buses were parked. Cas only paused to lock the bus' door behind them, before trying to devour Dean one loving bite at a time. Boots were pulled off and thrown. Clothing left a trail from the front of the bus to Cas' bedroom. Just when Dean was about to push his lover onto the mattress, Cas exhaled sharply and put his hands on Dean's bare chest. "Shower."

  
Dean gave him a disbelieving look. "Fuck that. We have a time limit, Novak." Now, where was he. Oh, yes, time to get Cas horizontal.

  
"Dean, I'm sweaty and I stink." Performing under all those hot lights did make one a bit ripe. There was not deodorant in the world that would fix that, but Dean didn't give a flying fuck.

  
"Don't care." And he shoved. Cas went down so hard he bounced. Dean promptly dove between his legs. Yes, he smelled musky and the sour tang of sweat assaulted Dean's nose, but this was Cas and he wasn't going to stop. Wasting their precious time on personal hygiene wasn't in the cards. He latched on to Cas' cock like a newborn calf to his mama's tit. Cas let out a litany of expletives that would make a sailor blush and Dean smiled around Cas' shaft. He missed Cas' dirty mouth. Strong fingers latched onto Dean's head and Dean looked up, giving Cas his permission with his expressive eyes. Cas began to fuck into Dean's mouth, hard and fast. Dean controlled his breathing and relaxed his throat, taking everything Cas could give.

  
"Fuck, Baby... love your mouth... missed you... missed this... but you got to stop." Dean felt the tug at his hair. When he let Cas' cock drop from his lips, slick with spit and precum, Cas moaned and bit down on his lower lip. "You are going to be the death of me," he whispered before pulling Dean up his body until they are face to face. "I love you."

  
Dean kissed Cas softly before speaking. "I love you too."

  
"Need you inside of me." Dean, who had the time to think about this reunion, had plans. He gave Cas a lazy smile.

  
"Want that too, Babe. You got supplies?" Dean followed Cas' nod towards a built in shelving unit next to the bed. He opened it, but didn't find what he was looking for and he was a bit surprised. He'd have to use the one he'd brought with him. He pulled out the bottle of lubricant and tossed the box of condoms on the bed. He wasn't going to think about Cas and any other person he'd had in this bed – not now, maybe not ever. "Hold that thought, Cas. I'll be right back." Cas gave him a quizzical look, but didn't say anything as Dean left the room.

  
His bag was on the couch in the front of the bus. He fumbled around inside for the thing he packed. The thing that he'd ordered from some company that specialized in adult toys. Very vanilla Dean was getting ready to rock Cas' world. Dean would be lying if he said he wasn't nervous.

  
***

  
Dean come back into the bedroom, naked, with his beautiful cock jutting out from his body. Since Cas' eyes were on his favorite body part, he didn't notice what Dean had in his hand until Dean knelt on the bed. Cas lifted an eyebrow. His cowboy wanted to play with toys. He reached up and ran his finger down the flesh colored length. "Not nearly as good as the real thing, but I'm willing to use it for foreplay." Cas murmured. He noticed the nervous bobbing of Dean's Adam's apple and he smiled. "Hey." Dean looked up and met his eyes. "Anything, and I mean anything, you ever want to try is fine with me. This thing we have, it's for both of us. I will never make fun of you or think you're a pervert for wanting to experiment." Dean's tentative smile melted Cas' heart. "Now, what did you have in mind?"

  
"I just want to have this inside me... while you ride my cock." Cas' mind was blown. He'd expected Dean to want to use it on him. He could not help the look of lust on his face. Dean saw his expression and the cocky bastard grinned.

  
It took a bit of logistical maneuvering, but soon Dean was on his back with his legs spread wantonly. His hole was slick and relaxed from their mutual foreplay. Cas rubbed the lubed vibrator against Dean's entrance. He pressed the button that put it on it's lowest setting and it began to hum. With one more look at Dean to make sure he was still on board, Cas pushed it past the still tight ring of muscle. Dean closed his eyes and let a soft whine escape his lips. Cas licked his own hungrily.

  
Since they'd mutually opened each other up, Cas' own hole reacted as Dean bucked when the tip of the toy hit is prostate. His eyes were drawn back and forth between Dean's face and his stretched entrance. With one more glance at the vibrator, Cas took up the condom they'd set out and quickly rolled it down Dean's straining cock. He had to grip the base of his cock because his senses were on overload and he was already feeling the burning coil of heat in his belly. He took a few deep breaths before moving up to straddle Dean's hips. Cas could not resist sharing a deep, languid kiss with Dean. He moved back a fraction of an inch and met Dean's gaze. "I love you," he whispered as he took Dean's shaft into his hand and sank down on it.

  
There was the initial burn and painful stretch, but Dean's response drew his attention away from it. "I love you so much, Cas. I can't imagine life without you." Cas closed his eyes and Dean's cock filled him. He released the breath he'd been holding once Dean was all the way inside his body. He could feel his body adjusting to Dean's length and girth. This was it for him. No other had ever made him feel this way. Crazy as it has always seemed to Cas, love made sex better.

  
He put his hands on Dean's chest and began to slowly rock his hips, up and down, back and forth. Dean's hands roamed over his arms... his thighs... fingertips touching his face. He wasn't sure where he ended and Dean began. Their movements became frenzied as he rode Dean faster and faster. Skin slapped against skin and the heady aroma of sex and sweat filled his nostrils.

  
Cas watched Dean's face contort as each downward stroke sent the vibrator deep. Dean's small whimpers and gasps drove him on. His lover was so close. The rosy blush spread over his torso. Leaning down, Cas nipped at Dean's lower lip. When he had Dean's attention, he noted the glazed look in his eyes. In his best bedroom voice, he said, "Dean, come for me, Baby. Fill me up."

  
"Close..." Dean's voice was raspy from the harsh, rapid breaths. Then he arched up, fingers digging into Cas' upper arms. The scream was primal and raw and God help him, Cas felt a wave of pride that he could drive Dean to this point. Deep, shuddering spasms racked Dean's body and Cas felt his cock throbbing inside of him as he released his load.

  
He wrapped his fist around his cock. He needed to come with Dean still inside him. Dean's weak touch on his hand slowed his stroke. "No... want you to come inside me."

  
Not able to speak, Cas simply nodded. He rose on his knees and exhaled slowly as Dean's cock slipped out of him. He quickly removed the condom and tossed it into the small trash can next to the bed before crawling backwards down Dean's thighs. Cas kneed them apart and gently removed the still humming vibrator. He watched as Dean's hole closed. He was puffy and red and so damn ripe for the taking. He snatched another condom off the shelving unit and ripped the packet open with his teeth. His hands were shaking as he rolled it down his shaft.

  
Dean watched patiently. He bent his knees, giving Cas a better view. Gone was the shy man that freaked out over being rimmed. He may have created a monster. He chuckled and Dean looked at him quizzically. "What?"

  
"I was just thinking how I may have created a monster."

  
"Maybe it was just hiding in me all along," Dean responded. "Now, you gonna fuck me, or what?"

  
"A bossy monster..." Cas said and pushed inside. The tight, hot pressure almost threw him over the edge, but he bit his lip hard enough to make him wince. He gripped Dean by the ankles and spread him wider before he began to move. He set a steady pace, with Dean's eyes locked on his. The tease was licking his lips and moaning like a fucking porn star. "This what... you... wanted," Cas said, having difficulty breathing, let alone talking.

  
"Harder, Cas. I want to feel it for weeks." Cas obliged, but Dean's words gave him pause. When would they see each other again? His schedule was tight. For the next three months, he was playing non-stop, sold out shows to promote the sales of the new CD. Angry at himself for dwelling on the negative, Cas brought his thoughts back to the gorgeous man under him. He pounded into Dean's hole. With every stroke, his balls would slap against Dean's ass and he got a perverted sense of pleasure from it.

  
In and out. He was relentless. Sweat ran down his back and dripped down his chest. His orgasm built and he could feel his heart beating like a drum. "That's it, Cas. Let yourself go."

  
His body tensed and every muscle he had seemed to seize up at once. He pumped his cum into Dean and then, trembling, he released Dean's ankles. Dean stretched, catlike, letting his legs fall to the mattress. He couldn't seem to suck in enough air and his lungs felt like they were going to explode. But the feeling of euphoria pushed all the physical discomforts aside. He dropped to all fours and made his way up the bed to be on eye level with Dean. They kissed, a hot, wet kiss filled with love and affection. "I think you may have broken me."

  
"Then my work here is done," Dean said cheekily. He got a swift slap on his thigh from Cas. Cas let his body collapse next to Dean and they curled their pinkie fingers together. They were both quiet and the sounds of far away traffic could be heard over their soft breathing. Cas wished he could stay like this forever – just him and Dean, away from the real world.

  
"How much time do we have?" Dean's voice held a thick sadness that broke Cas' heart. Cas sat up and located his jeans. He pulled his phone out and groaned.

  
"Only an hour more." Since he was already up, he stood. "I really need a shower. I'd ask you to join me, but it's not a very big space."

  
"It's fine. I'll catch one after." Dean rolled over on his stomach and Cas took a moment to stare at his perfect ass. He quickly snapped a picture. "Did you just take a picture of my ass?" Dean's muffled voice came from the pillow.

  
"Maybe." Cas slipped into the small bathroom and caught his reflection in the mirror. So this was what being in love looked like.

  
After he washed all the dried sweat and stink off of himself, he pulled on his robe and stepped into the bedroom. Soft snores came from the bed. Dean wasn't used to the late nights. As much as he wanted to spend every remaining second looking into his lover's eyes and making plans for their future, Cas just sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Dean sleep. It was nice having this time to drink in how hot his boyfriend was. Boyfriend? Huh... He liked the sound of that.

  
The minutes ticked by and still, Cas' eyes stayed on Dean's sleeping form. He'd tried to count the freckles that graced his strong shoulders, but kept losing track. Dean finally woke when Cas traced his fingertip down his spine. He yawned and then frowned. "How long have I been out?" Cas shrugged and pulled his phone out of the pocket of his robe. Dean yanked it from his hand, frowned at the screen. "Damn it, Cas, you let me waste time with you sleeping." Dean sat up and raked his fingers through his hair.  
"I didn't think of it as a waste of time, Dean. I loved being able to watch over you." Dean flopped back down and rolled his eyes. He gripped Cas' hand and pulled him down on top of him.  
"You'll be in Flagstaff tomorrow?" Cas was surprised that Dean knew his schedule.

  
Cas let his thumb rub Dean's knuckles and sighed. "Yes. I have an afternoon radio interview and then another show. After that, it's California, with stops in San Diego, LA and San Francisco."

  
"When will..." Dean stopped and exhaled. Cas waited for him to finish the sentence but the words never came.

  
"Can you take time from the ranch to meet me in LA? We could..." Dean put his fingertip over Cas' lips.

  
"The end of the summer is busy at the ranch, Cas."

  
"I understand," Cas said, and he did. It didn't make it easier to take though.

  
***

  
The goodbye was a lot harder than Dean thought it would be. Cas' driver tentatively knocked on the bus' door right at the two hour mark. Cas barked for him to enter. Dean had taken a five minute shower and the only thing making it bearable was the fact that Cas stood at the door talking to him.

  
Balthazar, or Zar as Cas called him, came in and announced that it was time to go. Cas walked Dean out of the bus and pressed him against the metal side. He pressed his forehead to Dean's. "I don't want to get on this bus."

  
Dean closed his eyes and pulled him close. "I know. We're good, Cas. Time apart ain't going to stop me from loving you." It would be hard as fuck though, Dean thought, already miserable.

  
They traded kisses until the motor on the bus turned over and the metal at his back began to vibrate. He gave Cas a half-hearted smile. "We got this."

  
"I know," Cas replied softly. He gave Dean one more kiss and then stepped into the bus. The door shut behind him and Dean swung his bag onto his shoulder and made his way over to where Gabe was leaning against his vehicle.

  
"I don’t want to know the details, but I hope you gave my little brother enough spank bank material to last him awhile." Dean smirked and shook his head. He tossed his bag in the back and got into the passenger side.

  
They drove in silence and Dean was okay with that. He was already missing Cas. When would they be able to see each other again? When Gabe pulled into the hotel's entrance, he finally spoke. "Seeing that... Proclamation... of love on stage told me how much he loves you. This is going to be hard for both of you. You live different lives."

  
"You think my past will hurt his career." Gabe put the car in park and shut off the engine before replying.

  
"It won't help it." Dean winced internally. "But... Cas is a big boy. He's one of the top billing acts to come out of Nashville in a long time. I think he can hold his own."

  
"Thanks for that."

  
"You're welcome, Dean-o."

  
The front desk has his room reserved and paid for by Novak, LLC. He was exhausted. Life on the ranch was an early to bed, early to rise career. He didn't bounce back from late nights like he used to back in his younger days.

  
The next day, he was glad to see the ranch come into view. He was busy with the VIP visitors to the ranch and he didn't see all the missed calls and texts until close to dinner time. Cas must really miss him. He decided to wait until he was in the privacy of his room later to call him. It would still be early enough to talk for awhile before Cas had to take the stage.

  
***

  
Gabriel stepped off the plane in Flagstaff. He didn't regret surprising his brother with Dean. Sure, he'd had his doubts, but he would be blind not to see how happy Cas was. Seeing him in love was pretty darn cool. As he drove his rental towards the Orpheum, the venue for tonight's concert, his phone rang. It was Claire. Claire was his right hand man...er... girl. She manned Cas' social media and webpage. It was her job to keep him up to date on anything trending that concerned Cas.

  
"What's up, Baby Cakes?"

  
"Don't call me that. It's sexist," she spat out before she started her rant. "We have a major issue, Gabe. Cas' last song blew up Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr..."

  
"Yeah, all those... I got it," Gabe interrupted. He'd known the very public declaration of love was going to blow up the internet.

  
"Anyway, everything was pretty cool. There was a lot of speculation on who Cas was singing to, but then this morning, someone posted a picture of Cas and his manfriend kissing outside the bus. Whoever posted it used a dummy account, but it's trending."  
"Just the picture or did they post names?" Gabe pinched the bridge of his nose. Cas was going to be pissed. He needed damage control.

  
"Let me read it to you. Intheknow posts hashtag caught in the act. Cas Novak seen with his new lover, Dean Winchester, washed up country singer."

  
"Fuck. That fucking bitch..."

  
"Wait. You know who it is?" Gabe had an idea. He'd seen the way Meg was watching Cas sing to Dean. That woman was trouble with a capital T. He didn't have any proof, but he'd seen her outside of the band's bus just before Cas and Dean parted ways. If the photo was of that kiss, then it could only have been her.

  
"I don't have proof." Gabe would need to think about Meg later. "So, what kind of backlash are we looking at?"

  
"Thousands of retweets. Couple hundred pictures of Dean Winchester from Google images, none recent. Links to his arrest record. Is Cas really seeing this guy?"

  
"It's more than just 'seeing' him," Gabe told her, his mind already on how they can put a spin on this. "You got any ideas?"

  
"Cas has got to respond. Doesn't he have a radio interview today?"

  
"Yeah, at six."

  
"They are going to ask him about it. He needs to be prepared."

  
"This is going to be a cluster fuck," Gabe muttered more to himself than Claire. "Alright, keep me updated. I've got to break the news to Cas."

  
"Good luck with that, Boss."

  
Gabe sat in his car staring at the line of parked buses and trucks. They'd beat him here. Then again, they didn't have to wait in endless lines for TSA to search their shit. He hated airports. He took a steadying breath and got out of the car. He figured Cas would be asleep. That was probably a good thing. He shouldn't put this off, but it was only five in the morning and he was whipped. If he woke Cas, it would just make it a bad day for everyone.

  
He started his car and drove to the closest hotel to sleep for a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know...I know. You all thought it was happily ever after NOW...well, nope, I had to dump a bit of angst in there. But don't worry your pretty, little heads. Everything will be okay. Trust me.


	14. Chapter 14

Cas woke and stretched his arms across the bed. He yawned and then wrinkled his nose. The sheets smelled like rank sweat and sex. A smile crossed his face. The sex had been amazing, but the aftermath would need to be taken care of. He stood up and stripped the bed, tossing the bundle in the small hamper. It was overflowing already and he'd have to get it done soon.

  
He was opening a compartment next to the bathroom when his bedroom door banged open. Gabriel strode in and stopped abruptly, closing his eyes. "Put some clothes on. Jeez, I don't need to see your dangly bits."

  
"My room, Gabriel. And the door was shut." Cas opened a drawer and removed a pair of sweats. He pulled them up his thighs and said, "You can open your eyes now."

  
Without giving his brother another look, Cas spread out the fitted sheet onto the bed. "Cas, I need you to...we need to talk." At his brother's sober words and tone, Cas stopped what he was doing and met Gabriel's eyes.

  
"What's going on?" Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair and indicated that Cas should sit. Cas sat. Gabriel wasn't serious very often, and when he was, Cas paid attention.

  
He watched his brother pace the small confines of his room for a minute before clearing his throat. "Spill it."

  
"On a positive note, your fans blew up social media after you pronounced your undying love to Winchester on stage." Cas opened his mouth, but Gabriel kept right on going. "You got a lot of great responses according to Claire."

  
"But..." Cas questioned. He knew Gabriel wouldn't be this reserved over good publicity.

  
"But, someone leaked a picture of you and Dean kissing by the bus. They posted Dean's name."

  
Cas rose to his feet, temper already coursing through him. "Who was it? Fuck, Gabriel, Dean doesn't need this shit." He crowded Gabriel, the few inches he had on his brother seemed more in the confined space. His brother didn't back away though, instead, he placed a calming hand on his shoulder.

  
"Cas, Claire is running damage control."

  
"How? What is she saying. She isn't denying I'm with Dean, is she? I won't have lies, Gabriel. Christ. Unless, Dean doesn't want to go public..." He reached for his phone. "I've got to call him."

  
"Yeah, you should probably warn him of the shit storm. Some have been Googling his past and putting the links out there."

  
The rage that Cas felt was indescribable. He wasn't pissed about the picture. He wasn't pissed about his privacy. He was livid that they'd dragged Dean's name and past into it. When he found out who leaked it... "Meg."

  
Gabriel's downcast eyes told him all he needed to know. "Can Claire get proof?"

  
"Probably not. The account was created sometime in the early morning. But the picture was taken right before Dean left. No one but the band and the crew would have been in that area."

  
He'd been so stupid to sleep with Meg. He knew she was trouble. He pressed the icon to call Dean. He needed to warn him. His privacy was taken care of, but Dean had been out of the limelight for years. He ran a business. The ranch's address was on the internet if you knew where to look. He heard the ringing. It went to voicemail. He typed out a quick text that just said 'call me'.

  
"What now?"

  
Gabriel shrugged. "You've got the interview."

  
"I'm not talking about any of this. I will not discuss Dean."

  
"Cas, I know you're angry as fuck, but you can't go in there and say 'no comment' and think that will be enough." The two brothers traded glares. Cas trusted Gabriel with his money and almost every other aspect of his life. He knew when it came down to it, he'd follow Gabriel's advice.

  
Over the next few hours, Cas stayed on his bus. He tried calling and texting Dean every thirty minutes or so. Zar kept him company and was made aware of the situation. Cas didn't know what his band was doing. He never kept them on a leash. He knew they'd be on stage for the sound check when the time came.

  
As he stepped off the bus to ride to the radio station with Gabriel, he spotted Meg talking to Ed and Cain. He was positive everyone in the band and crew knew about the social media implosion by now. He walked over to them. Cain put his arm around Cas' shoulders. "You doing okay?"

  
"Oh, I'm fine," Cas said, his eyes leveling on Meg's. He had to hand it to her, she didn't crack under his gaze. "Gabriel has people on it and we'll find out who leaked the picture."

  
"That was a dick move," Ed said, obviously angry on Cas' behalf. "We're family and for someone to do that...man...I hope I never find out who it was." Cas, his eyes still on Meg saw her pale. He smirked.

  
"You may have to get in line, Ed. Either way, they will be fired and I will do my damndest to make sure they never work in the music industry again."

  
"Cas," Gabriel called from behind him.

  
"I will see you all at sound check," Cas said, walking away. He couldn't even stomach looking at Meg anymore. How was he supposed to perform with her? In one of his songs, he usually goes and stands beside her at the keyboards and harmonizes with her. Well, he had a few new songs from the CD, he could always drop that one.

  
They arrived at the radio station with time to spare. Cas signed autographs for the staff and a few lucky contest winners. Afterwards, he and Gabriel met privately with the station manager and the deejay who would be conducting the interview.

  
The deejay, a guy named Rob, shook Cas' hand and offered him a chair. "So, we have about ten minutes before we go on air, anything off limits?" His look was speculating, but not unfriendly.

  
"We're assuming you've seen the social media frenzy regarding Cas' kiss with his boyfriend," Gabriel said before Cas could speak. Intentionally, Gabriel had taken Cas' decision out of his hands. He'd shoulder the blame if Dean got upset and Cas was grateful.

  
"Are the rumors true then? Cas and Dean Winchester are involved?"

  
"We don't feel comfortable discussing Cas' private life without talking with Mr. Winchester first. You understand, I hope?"

  
"Sure, I get that, but the public is chomping at the bit for information. Wouldn't it be better in the long run for Cas to tell his side of the story?"

  
Cas spoke for the first time. "Yes. I want my fans to know that I'm happy. I want to let them know that Dean is a wonderful man, but he is off limits to them. He's no longer a celebrity and his private life isn't up for grabs."

  
"Fair enough," Rob said, making notes on a small pad.

  
The interview was as expected. Cas was asked about the songs on the new CD releasing Friday, his tour and the upcoming Christmas compilation. Fifteen minutes into the twenty minute interview, Rob spoke into his microphone, "By now, unless you live under a rock, you've seen the social media storm regarding Cas Novak and the kiss. This coming on the heels of the most beautiful version of his hit song, Your Man, to ever hit a concert stage. So, Cas, without delving into your privacy too much, can you tell us the story behind the way you sang the song and your feelings on the leaked picture of an obviously private moment." Rob didn't mention Dean's name, leaving it to Cas and Cas appreciated it.

  
"Let me give you a bit of back story first. I heard a song and decided the voice of the man singing it would harmonize well with mine and I wrote a duet for that purpose in mind. I approached the singer, Dean Winchester, about the possibility of doing the song with me. He shot me down, but to make a long story short, I finally wore him down." Rob chuckled. "Over the course of a couple of weeks, we fell in love. Whoever took that picture not only invaded a private moment, but posted it hoping to cause problems. All I can do is beg my fans to respect Dean's privacy."

  
"Thank you for being honest with us, Cas. I know your fans appreciate it. And good luck to you tonight. Okay, folks, that will wrap up our on air interview with Cas Novak. For those lucky enough to have tickets for tonight's show, have a great time." Rob flipped a switch and the 'on air' light went dark.

  
On the way back to the venue, Cas tried Dean again. He still had no responses to his texts and the call went to voicemail. Desperate, he called Claire. "I need you to find a number for me," he asked, ignoring Gabriel's questioning look. "His name is Benny Lafitte, Odessa, Texas. I need a cell number as soon as possible."

  
***

  
Dean and Bobby finished dinner and they both cleaned the kitchen. He was heading upstairs when there was a banging on the front door. He turned and waved Bobby away. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Benny standing there. "What's up?" Benny had left the ranch well over an hour ago.

  
"Your boyfriend called me and needed me to check on you," Benny said gruffly.

  
"Cas?" Dean had assumed Cas just missed him. "What's wrong? Is he okay?" A knot of panic took up residence in his stomach.

  
"He's fine." Benny seemed to hesitate, but before Dean could open his mouth, he spoke. "When he couldn't reach you, he contacted me to make sure you were okay."

  
Dean narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Why wouldn't I be?" By this time, Bobby had joined them at the door.

  
"Can I come in?" Benny asked without answering Dean's question. Dean huffed, but stood aside. The three of them sat in the living room. Without preamble, Benny began, "According to Cas, someone took a picture of your goodbye kiss and it's been plastered all over the internet. He was worried that some of his more zealot fans would try to find you."

  
Stunned, Dean rubbed his palms over his face, blowing his breath out slowly. "Fuck."

  
"I think you should call him and let him tell you everything. I'm just the messenger."

  
He pulled out his phone and dialed Cas immediately. He still had a couple hours before the concert. It only rang once and Dean heard Cas' shouted hello over the sound of a guitar rift. He must have interrupted the sound check. "Hold on, Dean, let me get off the stage."

  
Unable to sit still, Dean stood and paced the living room. Bobby and Benny watched him with concern. He wasn't a fucking shrinking violet. Did everyone in his life think he'd cave under pressure and hit the bottle again?

  
"Dean..." The background noise was muted now. "Why didn't you return my calls?" Dean picked up on a touch of anger in Cas' voice.

  
"I'm sorry, Cas. We had some VIPs at the ranch today and I was busy." Cas didn't reply right away and Dean imagined he was counting to ten. Thinking about it, Dean realized that after all the missed calls and texts, perhaps he should have seen it was important. "I'm really sorry."

  
"Okay...it's okay. Did Benny fill you in."

  
"Yeah, he gave me the Readers' Digest condensed version. Someone leaked our picture. So what? I mean...unless you're upset..." Maybe Cas didn't want their relationship made public.

  
"No, Dean. I would love to scream from the rooftops that you're mine and I'm yours, but you've been out of the limelight for fifteen years. I just don't want you to..."

  
"Stop right there. Before you say anything stupid," Dean growled, focusing on Bobby and Benny, making sure they were paying attention. "I'm not a Goddamn pussy, okay? When something stressful happens, I'm not going to pick up a bottle. I can handle some publicity, Cas." Benny and Bobby shared a look and looked contrite. "What's going to happen now? I'm assuming you have people handling your PR."

  
"Yes. We are handling it. And Dean, I'm not going to apologize for wanting to protect you. It's not because I'm afraid you're going to slip back into your old life. I'm more afraid of your safety. People are crazy and anyone with enough time on their hands can find the ranch's location. And Dean, they have already found the arrest records."

  
"That part of my life is dead and buried," Dean said, silently adding that his father was as well. "I just don't want my old shit causing problems for you, Babe." Okay, so now the conversation was getting a bit sappy and he wandered out on the front porch, letting the door shut behind him with a loud click.

  
"I'm good, Dean. Gabriel is handling things. And the radio interview went well. I asked the listeners to respect your privacy, but you will still have a few unwanted guests I'm afraid. Perhaps you should contact your local sheriff's office and ask for an extra patrol or two."

  
"That's a good idea." They were silent for a few moments and then Cas said, "I miss you."

  
"Yeah, I miss you too." Dean stared up at the sky. The moon was out. "Hey, Cas?"

  
"Yes?"

  
"I know you're in the middle of sound checks, but could you go outside for a second?"

  
"Outside?"

  
"Humor me. I'm trying to be romantic here." He heard Cas' low laughter.

  
"Give me a minute." Dean heard the opening and shutting of a metal door. "Okay, now what?"

  
"Look up at the sky. See the moon?"

  
"Yes."

  
"I'm looking up at it too."

  
"Ah, Dean, you really are a romantic man, aren't you?"

  
"Shut up. It isn't going to happen often, so don't get used to it." Cas' laugh was louder now.

  
"God, I love you."

  
"I know, now, get back inside and get ready to impress your fans."

  
Back inside, Dean crossed his arms and looked at Benny. "I'm not that person anymore, Benny. I’m stronger."

  
"I know," Benny replied. Bobby leaned back on the sofa looking very much a proud father.

  
"I'm taking it that Benny filled you in on everything Cas told him." Bobby nodded. "Good, now, Cas thinks we may have some of the batshit crazy fans showing up here. First thing in the morning, I'm calling the sheriff's office and explain the situation. Bobby, I want you to ask around and see if some of the locals will lend us a few extra hands to ride the fence lines. People are nuts and I don't want any of the livestock hurt. Benny, you go into town and buy a motion camera for the gate. I want an app on each of our phones so we can see who is coming and going."

  
"Got it, Boss." Benny stood up and nodded. "I'm heading out. Looks like we might be a little busy the next couple of days."

  
Dean followed Benny out. He'd go check the barns. All had locks on them, but he'd never felt the need to use them. Starting tonight, he would.

  
Thankfully, the next couple of days were quiet. There were several new faces around the ranch, hands from his neighbors were taking shifts. Even Charlie took a shift in exchange for the scoop on the 'coolest romance in Texas history' - according to her.

  
Cas was somewhere in California, but they talked several times a day. Cas told him he suspected Meg of the leak, but had no proof. He didn't toss her out of the band, but he no longer sang with her and the rest of the band seemed to have caught on. According to Cas, she was person-non-grata. Dean was glad he was a few states away because his rule about not hitting women would be sorely tested.

  
He'd never been one to get on social media and he couldn't even tell you what a Tweet was, but Charlie showed him some of the stuff that was happening out there. Yes, his arrest record was fodder for the gossips, but he didn't care. It was a long time ago and he knew he was a better person. His inbox was overflowing with fans of Cas' and he wasn't sure what to do about it. Right now, he was spending about an hour each night just deleting stuff. He'd need to talk to Gabe and see if there was a way around it. He couldn't change his address because those that have done business with him in the past needed a way to contact him. He did have to change the ranch's number though and it was removed from the website.

  
As he'd told Cas, the end of the summer was busy on the ranch, but he wasn't too busy to miss Cas. Talking wasn't enough. Even the few times they'd done the phone sex thing didn't make it easy. In fact, it made it harder.

  
The new CD came out and was being played on country stations nationwide and the duet was well on its way to being a Number One hit. Cas never mentioned being unable to sing it to his fans on stage, but Dean thought about it a lot.

  
On the nights that Bobby went into town to see Ellen, Dean pulled out his guitar and sang. He sang his old songs and the duet. He wasn't sure what he was practicing for... not yet.

  
Cas was making his way back across the country with stops in Colorado, Kansas and Oklahoma. When they Skyped, Dean notice how tired he was. He wished he could be there to hold him. It was the last Friday in August when Dean made his decision. He called Gabe and explained what he wanted to do. Gabe assured him he would make it happen at the show in Baton Rouge. Dean hung up and tried to steady his shaking hands.


	15. Chapter 15

The tour was moving along and most of the time, Cas forgot what city was next on the list. Things were tense with the band. Everyone had picked up on the hostility Cas was showing Meg. At Gabriel's insistence, he hadn't accused her of anything, but he all but ignored her. When he'd changed the song at the sound check in Flagstaff, she tried to talk to him, but he made sure he was never alone with her. Zar had orders that she was never allowed on his bus and they both kept it locked at all times.

  
By the time they hit California, the band was speculating on it being Meg that leaked the photo. They'd all seen it and rumors were high. Meg kept her head down and did her job. If Cas didn't hate her so much, he'd feel sorry for her because she was being shunned by everyone. If she was smart, she'd put feelers out to get another gig. When this tour was over, Cas was letting her go. She knew her days were numbered. Whether it was jealousy or just spite that caused her to post their private moment on the internet, Cas didn't know and he really didn't care.

  
When they rolled into Colorado, the speculation about Dean was more positive. Gabriel informed him that Dean's earlier hits were making a comeback on the country stations. He talked to Dean daily. Most days it was several times a day. He'd taken to texting Dean whenever he got back on the bus after a concert just to tell him how it went. He knew Dean would be asleep, but he'd see it the next morning and that was okay with Cas.

  
He missed Dean and the longer they were apart, the more stressed out he got. While he still putting on a great show for his fans, once he left the stage, he found himself getting more and more tired of life on the road.

  
The duet was getting a lot of airplay and the fans chanted it during the concerts, but without Dean, Cas couldn't perform it on stage. In an interview in Kansas, he stated that Dean was no longer in the country music world and the duet would never be sung live. He didn't go into why Dean left the scene, but simply stated Dean was happy with his quiet life on the ranch.

  
From what Dean said, the ranch hadn't gotten many unwanted visitors. He'd installed cameras and had volunteers from the other ranches to keep an eye out for trespassers. He did have some issues with the phone and email stuff, but Claire and Dean's friend, Charlie, where helping with that.

  
The Oklahoma show was another sell-out and Cas was counting down the days until he was back in Nashville. He'd take care of some business and then fly out to see Dean. He'd have at least three weeks and that's what was keeping him going.

  
They rolled into Baton Rouge early Saturday morning. Cas slept in and when he finally got out of bed, Gabriel was waiting in the bus' living room with his schedule. Fortunately, he didn't have any interviews, just a meet and greet with a contest winner right before the show. They went over the list of songs he'd perform and then he had the rest of the day to relax.

  
He spent the time playing his guitar and jotting down some song ideas. At noon, he called Dean. He didn't answer, but Cas got a text back that said he was busy with the animals and he'd talk to him later. Feeling disappointed, Cas lay back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. How did long distance relationships work? He was miserable. If he were at the ranch, he'd be helping Dean. He'd learned to ride and he was confident Dean could teach him other things to do around the ranch. He dozed off and dreamed of a life together with the man he loved.

  
When he entered the River Center Theatre, the band was already on stage. "Am I late?" Cas asked, because it looked like they'd already been practicing. Meg wasn't around though, so he must be wrong.

  
"No, just got here," Luc said, but his eyes didn't meet Cas'.

  
"Where's Meg?" He took the clipboard with the song schedule and moved to center stage.

  
"Uhm..." Anna started, not taking her eyes off her fiddle.

  
"She is meeting with Gabe," Harry said, shrugging like it wasn't a big deal. Gabriel didn't meet with anyone during a sound check. With a growl of annoyance, Cas put the clipboard on one of the stools and left the stage to find his brother.

  
Gabriel was in the green room looking over the bowls of candy when Cas entered. "What's going on, Gabriel. We are ready for the sound check, but I was told Meg was with you."

  
His brother looked up, an expression of boredom on his face. "She won't be performing tonight."

  
"What? Why the fuck not?" If that bitch screwed up this performance, she was done. Cas was fuming. He didn’t have another keyboard player to take her place.

  
"Don't get your panties in a twist. I have a replacement lined up. I flew in one of the studio musicians from Nashville. He knows your stuff backwards and forwards." Gabriel popped a piece of hard candy into his mouth.

  
"What is her excuse?"

  
"No excuse. I just told her that she wasn't needed tonight."

  
"Don't you think that is my decision?" Cas wanted her gone, but right before a concert wasn't the time to do it."

  
"Calm down. I didn't fire her. I'll let you have that honor when we get to Nashville. I just decided that her negative attitude wasn't needed on stage tonight." Cas dragged his fingers through his hair and scowled, but before he could vocalize how pissed he was, Gabriel pointed to his watch. "The new guy should be there, you should probably get your tight little ass back to the sound check." Knowing he couldn't win, he spun and stomped back to the stage.

  
The keyboard player did know all the songs and they had no issues come up. He left the stage to have dinner in the green room with the rest of the band and then decided to dress in the bus. He dressed in a light jacket since the air conditioner was cranking out cold air during the sound check. He picked up his Stetson and then tossed it back down on the table. Who says he had to look like a cowboy every time he took the stage? Dean was a real cowboy, Cas was just playing a part.

  
He met the band in the green room and grabbed a bottle of water. Everyone was busy on their phones as usual, but Anna looked up at him and smiled. He sat beside her. "How are you doing?"

  
Cas shrugged. "Tired. Ready for the tour to be over." She leaned against him and clasped his hand.

  
"You haven't been happy on tour in a long time. Perhaps you're ready for a change."

  
Cas looked at her. "What about you? And the band?"

  
She laughed softly. "I meant a change from touring. You can't stop writing songs and singing. We..." She gestured to the people sitting around the room. "...will be fine. I know Luc would love to spend more time at home with his family. And honestly, I'd love to find someone. Someone like your Dean."

  
My Dean. He loved the sound of it. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about stopping the touring and just release a new CD every year or so."

  
"Maybe Dean will help you write another song," she said, standing. Gabriel was at the door motioning that it was time. Cas followed everyone out and waited in the wings while his band took their places. His opening number was his hit single off the newest CD. Cas ran out on stage to the roar of the crowd. He grabbed the mic off the stand and began to sing.

  
**_So you're tired and beat_**  
**_And you've worked all week_**  
**_And you need a place you can let it go._**  
**_Where the girls go wild_**  
**_And the boys play hard_**  
**_And you need a little more than just the radio._**  
**_Well here's your open invitation_**  
**_With just a couple regulations._**  
**_Let me warn you, son, only come to have fun_**  
**_We don't take kindly to serious._**  
**_So leave your troubles at the door_**  
**_Unless you want some in here._**

  
The crowd was up on their feet, clapping in time with the beat of the music. Cas grinned. This one was one of his favorites.

  
**_Welcome to my house, buckle up tight_**  
**_Everybody sings and drinks, laughs and gets high._**  
**_It's a country music, a little soul,_**  
**_It's a rock 'n roll rodeo._**  
**_We don't tolerate no sitting around_**  
**_Everybody's dancin', groovin' and getting on down._**  
**_So before you come in here with some kind of attitude_**  
**_You better read the house rules._**

  
They finished up the next two songs before Cas took a break and walked to the front of the stage. "Hello, Baton Rouge," he shouted. Their response was deafening. "Y'all ready to party?" More screaming and stomping.

  
Ed strolled up front with his bass guitar and picked out the opening notes of their next song. Cas got up behind him and reached around to pluck a few cords.

  
***

  
To say Dean was nervous was an understatement. Gabe assured him over and over that everything was going according to plan. He was able to see the stage from where he stood, his guitar hanging off his back. Cas had no idea what was going to happen and Dean hoped he'd be okay with it. Gabe had also mentioned that Meg wasn't performing tonight. Cas' brother didn't go into details, but he wondered whose decision it was. From their conversations, Dean knew Cas wanted her gone, but was waiting until the tour was over to save any hassle. 

  
The concert continued and Dean loved watching Cas interact with his band. Gabe made sure Meg wasn't here. Dean didn't know what Cas' brother did with her, but he didn't really care. He was just glad he didn't have to see her. Gabe gave him a nudge. "We changed out the last song. Cas doesn't know a thing. When the song starts, he's going to be confused and he'll probably be a bit peeved at the guys. He'll think they are dicking with him. That will be your cue. The stage lights will go down except for two spots in the front. A roadie will bring out another mic stand. Then it will be all up to you."

  
Dean took a deep breath and nodded. Gabe slapped him between his shoulder blades and grinned. "You got this, Dean-o."

  
The stage lights went out and the spots came on. Cas looked around curiously. The band began to play and Cas spun around to find out what the hell was going on. The crowd went silent. Dean shifted his guitar and walked out on stage, picking up the tempo of the music. When he hit the lighted area, the audience erupted into screams. Cas' eyes widened and a look of shock graced his face. "Dean." At least, Dean thought he said his name. He couldn't hear his own thoughts.

  
Cas met him at the microphone stands set up at center stage. The crowd grew quiet. "Dean...this is a surprise," Cas spoke into the mic.

  
Dean gave him a nervous smile. "Surprise," he said sheepishly and there was a collective 'ahhh' around them. Cas, being a professional, gave him a sweeping gesture.

  
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is Dean Winchester. My..."

  
"Boyfriend. I'm his boyfriend," Dean said when he hesitated. Being here and hearing the crowd wasn't nearly as bad as he'd thought it would be. The fans laughed and cheered.

  
"Yes, my boyfriend. I'm assuming my band knew about this and as usual, I'm the last to know." The opening notes of the song were being played on repeat by the band now as they waited for Dean and Cas to let them know they were ready.

  
Dean looked out at the crowd and grinned. "It's true, he had no clue."

  
"I suppose you are here to sing with me," Cas asked, his eyes lit with affection.

  
"Well, only if they want me to," Dean said, indicating the audience with a wave of his hand. They roared their approval and Cas chuckled. They both took the mics off the stands and moved them out of the way. With a nod from Dean, they began to sing.

  
**_I saw the light_**  
**_I've been baptized_**  
**_By the fire in your touch_**  
**_And the flame in your eyes_**  
**_I'm born to love again_**  
**_I'm a brand new man_**

The acoustics of the huge venue, plus the live musicians behind them made it sound even better than the studio version. Dean dropped his mic a fraction as Cas sang his part.

**_Well the whole town's talking_ **  
**_'Bout the line I'm walking_ **  
**_That leads right to your door_ **  
**_Oh how I used to roam_ **  
**_I was a rolling stone_ **

**_I used to have a wild side_ **  
**_They say a country-mile-wide_ **  
**_I'd burn those beer joints down_ **  
**_That's all changed now_ **  
**_You turned my life around_ **

They joined their voices again to sing the chorus and everyone was singing along with them. Dean found himself enjoying the experience. His nervous stomach had settled and he was hoping Sam, Benny and Bobby would be able to see this on YouTube.

**_I saw the light_ **  
**_I've been baptized_ **  
**_By the fire in your touch_ **  
**_And the flame in your eyes_ **  
**_I'm born to love again_ **

It was time for Dean's part and he nailed it. He belted out the words, eyes twinkling as he caught Cas' eye.

**_I'm a brand new man_ **  
**_I used to love 'em and leave 'em_ **  
**_I'd brag about my freedom_ **  
**_How no one could tie me down_ **  
**_Then I met you_ **

**_Now my heart beats true_ **  
**_Baby you and me together_ **  
**_Feels more like forever_ **  
**_Than anything I've ever known_ **  
**_We're right on track_ **  
**_I ain't looking back_ **

As Dean finished his verses, Cas put his arm around his waist, pulling him close as they finished out the song.

**_I saw the light_ **  
**_I've been baptized_ **  
**_By the fire in your touch_ **  
**_And the flame in your eyes_ **  
**_I'm born to love again_ **  
**_I'm a brand new man_ **  
**_I'm born to love again_ **  
**_I'm a brand new man_ **

  
It was over. Dean had made it through and he felt the rush of adrenalin. He'd forgotten how it felt to have thousands of screaming fans calling your name. After a few minutes, Cas held up his hands and the crowd quieted. He then took Dean's hand in his and spoke into the mic. "I want to thank Dean for coming here tonight and performing this song...our song...live for you tonight. It sounded great, didn't it?"

  
More cheers and the sound of hundreds of stomping feet filled the auditorium. "I love you, Cas," Dean said without thinking the mic would pick it up above the high noise level, but it was heard by everyone and Dean blushed as the crowd got even louder. Flashbulbs were going off everywhere.

  
Cas covered his mic with his hand and moved his mouth to Dean's ear. "I love you too. I'm so happy right now."

  
The shouts of "Kiss...kiss...kiss" got louder and louder. Dean hadn't expected something like this in Louisiana. The South was bible country. Cas faced the audience and shook his head no. Before he could speak into the mic though, Dean kissed him. It wasn't passionate or fake, it was just full of affection and love. A simple, but lingering buss on the lips.

  
"Alright, the dog and pony show is over now," Dean called out and lifted his guitar strap over his head. He held it by the neck and waved. "Thanks for being a great audience. I'm giving the stage back to Cas now." To Cas, remembering to cover the mic this time, he assured him that he'd be waiting backstage.

  
Once he was out of sight, the crowd grew silent again. Cas looked down at his booted feet for a few seconds and then back up. "I hope you enjoyed our song. Dean is...well...he's everything to me and for y'all to accept him...accept us like that, well, it means the world to me. Thank you, Baton Rouge."

  
***

  
When Cas sung his encore song, he knew Dean was listening somewhere in the wings and while he couldn't see him, he put his heart and soul into the words. After the final curtain, Cas looked around wildly, needing to find his man. He spotted him with Gabriel and nearly broke his ankle stumbling over the cables to get to them.

  
Dean grinned at him and Cas crushed him in his arms, giving him all the love he couldn't on stage. "Is this surprise thing going to become a habit?"

  
"Don’t get used to it," Dean said with a laugh. They clung to each other for a few more seconds and Gabriel broke up their reunion.

  
"As an added bonus, and you can thank your big brother for this part, Dean is staying with you tonight and riding with you all the way to Tallahassee. He'll have to fly out when we get there...something about breeding stock...yada yada yada...I stopped listening after that."

  
Cas was stunned. He'd have Dean for the next twenty-four hours. Gripping his hand tight, he led the way through the backstage area and out into the back lot where the buses were parked. Zar was sprawled out on the couch, napping, the television showing the last part of an action movie. He startled awake when the two men careened through the doorway, giggling like school children.

  
"We aren't leaving until the morning," Cas said, fumbling with his wallet. He tossed a credit card at his friend. "Find a nice hotel room." Zar gave them a knowing smirk and then plucked the card from Cas' hand.

  
"See you in the morning, Darling and Darling's boyfriend." When the door shut behind him, Cas locked it and took a few moments to simply look at Dean. Dean's face flushed a perfect pink.

  
"What?" He asked, obviously embarrassed at being the object of Cas' adoration.

  
"I've missed you so much. To have you here...on stage...that was...this is the best night of my life."

  
"You sap, meeting me was the best day of your life," Dean said, a cocky grin on his perfect face. Cas shook his head with a chuckle and moved closer.

  
"I love your modesty, Dean." He took Dean's hand and led the man into the bedroom. Cas placed his hands on Dean's hips and let his thumbs touch bare skin. Impatiently, he pulled the hem of the black t-shirt up and over Dean's head. He hummed low in his throat and Dean reached for his belt buckle. Cas pushed his hand away. "Let me." Quickly and efficiently, he got Dean's jeans undone. He pushed him back to the bed and bent to pull off Dean's boots. Dean lifted his hips and allowed Cas to pull his jeans and boxers off. Cas stood and gazed down at Dean. He was breathtakingly beautiful.

  
Dean stared up at him. "You need to hurry and get those clothes off, Cas. We only have twenty-four hours or so, I plan on making use of each and every minute."

  
Cas couldn't get his clothes off fast enough. One of his boots hit the side of the bus with a loud thunk and the rest of his clothing was thrown into various piles on the floor. Naked and very aroused, he knelt between Dean's legs and lowered himself. The kiss was a promise of things to come. He lowered his hips until his cock was rubbing against Dean's. The feeling of pure, unadulterated pleasure shot to his core. He nuzzled against Dean's neck, whispering words of love.

  
"I need you so much."

  
"Want you, Babe," Dean murmured softly against his cheek.

  
"I'm yours." Cas raised up on his arms and reached into the cabinet. His hands fell on the vibrator that Dean had left and the memory made his cock throb. Later, he thought. He found the lube and a condom. He took Dean's right hand and squirted a healthy amount of the gel onto his fingers. Then he took him by the wrist and showed Dean exactly what he wanted.

  
Dean's cool, slick fingers brushed over his entrance and Cas purred. As Dean's forefingers slid inside, Cas rolled his hips, ripples of pleasure coursing through him. He hissed when Dean added another, but when his lover hesitated, he growled. "Don't stop." Beads of sweat appeared on his forehead as he held himself in check. He wanted to rut against Dean's cock, but he didn't want to come. Not yet. Not for a long time.

  
Time seemed to stop for the two men. The only sounds were their shallow breathing and the occasional sound of the crew loading the trucks. Cas felt the stretch as Dean pressed another digit inside of him. He leaned down again, giving his taut arms a rest. He brushed his lips against Dean's and then moved down to the sensitive patch of skin beneath Dean's ear. He flicked his tongue into the shell and Dean bucked under him. "Damn..." Dean hissed. 

  
He could feel Dean's hard shaft pressing into his belly, slick with arousal. "I'm ready," Cas whispered and winced as Dean removed his fingers. Dean rolled them over and Cas became pliable as Dean pulled him to his knees, plastering his body behind him. The heat from Dean's chest warmed his back and he felt Dean's cock between the cheeks of his ass. Dean moved his hips so that his length moved up and down, catching on his rim with each pass. Dean was kissing the back of his neck and then his hands were on Cas' chest, tweaking his nipples, softly at first, but increasing the pressure. Cas rode the line between pleasure and pain. Each pinch of the tender nub had him moaning and pressing his ass backwards, needing to be filled. "Please."

Dean's hand moved away from his chest and Cas heard the sound of foil ripping. He was clean and he was sure Dean was too. He reached his arm up and over his shoulder to tug on Dean's hair, bringing his head close to Cas'. "No condom." He felt Dean stiffen, but it was just for an instant. His hands and mouth were back and more ardent than before.

  
The next sound he heard was the cap of the lube being opened. Dean moved away for a few seconds and the slick sound of a wet hand on smooth flesh filled Cas' ears. "You sure?" Dean asked as he rubbed the head of his cock against Cas' entrance.

  
"Yes." He'd never been more sure. This would be a first for him. He'd never had unprotected sex in his life, but this was Dean. This was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

  
The head of Dean's cock pressed into him. It breached the tight muscle and Cas bit down on his lower lip, willing his body to relax against the intrusion. "God, Cas, you feel amazing." The slow slide of Dean's shaft filling him made Cas tremble. When Dean's hips finally rested against Cas' ass, he tightened his arms around Cas' torso. He could feel Dean's hot breath on his neck. He was panting and Cas could feel the tension in Dean's arms.

  
"Fuck me, Dean." Dean set the pace, slow and easy until Cas' body adjusted to his thick cock. "Yes...yes...yes..." Cas gasped the word with each snap of Dean's hips. "Harder...Dean..."

  
Cas let his head fall back onto Dean's chest as his lover's cock thrust into him over and over at a brutal pace. He was close now, his hand stroking his shaft faster and faster. Dean whispered obscenities in his ear and he was so turned on...so ready for release. When he cried out Dean's name, Dean thrust deep and hard, biting down on the back of his neck at the exact moment he orgasmed. Cas saw stars. He literally saw stars.

  
Cas' body felt boneless and Dean had to hold him up as he chased his own release. "Cas...Love you...feel so good...close...fuck..." Dean's body jerked and Cas could feel the pulse of his cock as Dean came inside of him. They clung to each other for a short time and then Dean eased his nearly flaccid penis out of Cas' tender hole. Cas let his body fall forward onto the mattress and Dean fell beside him. Dean rested his palm on Cas' sweaty lower back. The quiet was comfortable and Cas let his mind wander back to the moment he saw Dean on the stage.

  
"Dean, why did you join me on stage tonight?" Now he knew why Gabriel wouldn't let Meg perform tonight. She would find out about it, if she wasn't watching from the concert floor. For her sake, she better keep her thoughts off of social media.

  
Dean didn't respond right away, but Cas knew he was still awake. Finally, he spoke. "The song, our song, was getting lots of radio attention and I knew you would never sing it on stage with anyone else. I just thought your fans would like it. I thought you would like it."

  
"I loved it, Dean. Were you okay..." Cas stopped talking. He knew Dean had gotten pissy about everyone protecting him and he didn't want to fight. Not now.

  
Dean sighed heavily and then turned on his side to face Cas. "I'll admit I was scared as fuck, but being up there with you...yeah, I was okay." Dean let a finger trace patterns on Cas' bare shoulder. "Before...in my other life, I finished a concert and had to hear how I could have done better from my dad. I chased away those feelings with booze and bar fights. Tonight...tonight was different. I knew I did a good job. You showed me how proud you were of me and that means everything, Cas. You mean everything. And this..." He waved his hand over their naked bodies. "...this is the way I'd love to end all of your concerts."

  
Cas met Dean's eyes. "About that." How would Dean take the news? Would he think Cas was moving too fast? He already knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life making Dean happy. Dean was looking at him quizzically. "I've been thinking about cutting back on my tours and just focus on writing songs and releasing a CD once a year."

  
Dean sat up and turned over so he could lean against the headboard. "Is that what you really want, Cas? You're good on stage. You got millions of fans wanting to see you and hear you sing."

  
"I've got one fan that I live for and I'd rather spend my time with him." Cas held his breath and closed his eyes.

  
Fingers brushed at his hairline. "That fan would love nothing more. But...that fan doesn't want you to give anything up for him."

  
"I'm not giving anything up, Dean. I want to spend my days...and nights on the ranch with you."

  
"I think Lady Gaga would like that."

  
"I'm sure she would," Cas replied, relishing of the feel of Dean's hand in his hair.

  
"And I could probably get on board with the idea of a roommate," Dean drawled.

  
"I'll try not to squeeze the toothpaste in the middle."

  
"Yeah, that would be a deal breaker," Dean said dryly, right before Cas shoved him off the bed onto the floor. If the wrestling and tickling led to another round of sex, Dean didn't seem to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you get a chance, listen to HOUSE RULES by Christian Kane and just to remind you, the song that Dean and Cas "wrote and sang" together is BRAND NEW MAN by Brooks and Dunn.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit short, sorry about that.

Traveling with Cas was an eye opening experience. Who would have thought that Cas was a cuddler. Not that Dean was complaining, but he'd never admit it to anyone else. They lay in the bed and talked between taking brief naps and heavy foreplay that turned into mind-blowing sex. Every few hours, the bus would stop at a rest area or chain restaurant off the interstate so they could stretch their legs and eat.

  
Zar turned out to be a funny guy. He left them alone most of the time, but during their stops he talked to Dean and at one point the two of them teased Cas unmercifully about the horse buying incident. Cas' pout was freakin' adorable and Dean made it up to him later that afternoon.

  
They pulled into Tallahassee around ten o'clock. Traffic was light at that time of night, and Zar drove the bus right to the airport. Dean packed his bag while Cas sat on the bed strumming his guitar. Neither spoke until Dean hefted the duffle onto his shoulder. "Guess this is it." Cas laid the guitar on the bed and stood up. He placed his hands on Dean's hips and rested his chin on Dean's shoulder.

  
"I hate this. Saying goodbye to you..."

  
"Shhhh, you only have a few more stops before Nashville. And then you'll be flying out to spend time with me," Dean whispered as his palms rubbed up and down Cas' back. Since when was he the strong one?

  
"I know." Cas pulled away and they left the bedroom. Through the tinted windows, Dean could see that the bus was getting a lot of attention. Cas followed his gaze. "Shit. I'm sorry, Dean. We should have parked at the venue and called you a cab. The bus kind of stands out."

  
"It's okay, Cas. I'll be fine." Dean continued towards the door, Cas trailing along behind him. He shook Zar's hand. "You take care of him."

  
"I will." Dean nodded and turned into Cas' arms. They shared a kiss and with a sigh, Dean stepped off the bus. He could see dozens of people using their cell phones to take videos and pictures. He was good. He would be fine. He didn't respond to the calls to get his attention. When he got to the glass doors leading into the airport he turned and saw the bus make it's way through the throng of bystanders. The large C on the back standing out in the lights from the terminal building.

  
The door shut behind him and he pulled out the envelope Gabe had given to him before they left Baton Rouge. He checked in and hurried to the TSA line. "Excuse me, I saw you get off Cas' bus. Are you the one he's in a relationship with?" Dean eyed the young man and didn't see a threat.

  
"Yeah." He kept his answer short. He wasn't sure how Gabe wanted him to handle things like this. He didn't want to say or do anything to put Cas in the social media spotlight again.

  
"I just want to say, I think you and Cas are great. I wish more celebrities would come out." Dean sensed a troubled teen.

  
"Cas is the one who is great. He's the one who made me step outside of my comfort zone." The line moved forward and Dean shuffled a few steps. He motioned the boy to keep walking with him.

  
The teen looked down at his feet. "I read all the stuff they were saying about you. I don't care. I still think you're cool and brave."

  
"No one's ever called me brave before. I don't feel brave. Stepping out on that stage for the first time in fifteen years... man, I was scared shitless."

  
"I saw the YouTube videos. It didn't show." The boy pulled a tattered notebook from his backpack. "Will you autograph this for me?" He flipped over a few pencil drawings until he got to a blank page. Dean gladly took it and the offered pen.

  
"Who should I make it to?"

  
"Kirk."

  
Dean scrawled his signature and then paged back through the sketches. "You're a really good artist, Kirk." The young man blushed and took the notebook back when Dean held it out.

  
"Thanks," he mumbled, unable to meet Dean's eyes. "I should go." He took a step backwards and got ready to turn, but Dean acted without thinking. He put his hand on the boy's arm.

  
"Would you like a picture?" The kid's eyes grew huge and a grin appeared. He pushed his long, stringy hair out of the way and nodded.

  
Dean dropped his duffle on the floor and pulled the boy into a half hug. The younger man held out his phone and took a picture of the two of them. As he finally walked away, Dean called out, "Be brave, kid."

  
Thankfully, no one else approached him as he passed through the metal detectors and made his way to his gate. After he sat down to wait, he called Cas. "Hello, Dean."

  
"I miss you already." And damn if he didn't sound cheesy as fuck.

  
"It won't be long before I'm home with you," Cas said, his voice low and husky. Dean leaned back, relaxing, a smile on his face.

  
"I love you." Dean's flight was called as the words left his mouth. They said their goodbyes for the second time that night and it wasn't until Dean was buckling himself into his seat that Cas' words came back to him. 'It won't be long before I'm home with you.' Contented, Dean leaned back and closed his eyes. He needed to get some sleep.

  
When he landed, Dean saw Benny's truck waiting for him at the entrance of the terminal. He got in and slung his bag to the floorboard. The sun was just coming over the horizon. "Enjoy your trip?"

  
"Very much," Dean said with a yawn. "You see the video?" Gabe had told him that he arranged for their song to be filmed and released on YouTube. He'd even sent a text with the link to it so Dean could send it to his family.

  
"Bobby, Sam and I watched it together."

  
"And?"

  
"And what? You don't have even ask if you were good, Dean. We are all proud of you. How's Cas, by the way?"

  
"Cas is good." Dean responded and looked out his window. The Texas landscape flew past. He took a breath and released it slowly. "He'll be coming here after the tour."

  
"I figured as much," Benny's slow, Cajun drawl was oddly quiet. Dean turned to look at his friend.

  
"You okay with that?"

  
Benny's eyes left the road for an instant and met Dean's. "Does he make you happy?"

  
"Yeah, he does."

  
"Then that's all I need to know. He's family." Dean held out his fist and Benny bumped it.

  
"Family."

  
The days passed quickly. He missed Cas and talked to him everyday, but it was time for the calves to be culled from the herd and either tagged to keep or checked out by a vet to get them ready for sale.

  
He'd marked his calendar so he could count down the days until Cas' arrival. Cas sounded excited about his visit and the closer the time came, the more Dean thought about their future together. While Cas had a life in Nashville, he'd talked about giving up touring and just writing music. Dean wondered if he'd be happy with a quiet life on the ranch. He knew he was putting the cart before the horse, since Cas hadn't said he'd want to move to Texas. Dean just had to make him see that they were really good together.

  
Dean was supervising the loading of a half dozen calves into a stock trailer when his phone rang. He pointed to his phone and waved at Benny. Benny nodded and Dean stepped inside the shade of the barn. "Hey, Babe."

  
Cas went on to tell him he was getting ready to fire Meg. He didn't sound happy about it and Dean questioned his decision, but Cas was dead set on it. Dean was secretly happy about it. Over the last few weeks, Cas had admitted that he'd had a short thing with Meg and the green-eyed monster had raised his ugly head. He didn't let Cas know, but he'd punched the side of the barn and scraped his fist pretty bad. Bobby had cleaned and taped it, all the while calling him an idjit. He knew it was stupid to be jealous of something that was long over with, but he'd be a lot happier when she was gone for good.

  
Meanwhile, he woke daily and placed a red 'x' on the calendar.

  
***

  
Twelve days later, Cas finished his tour of the southeastern seaboard and the trucks and buses headed inland. In the wee hours of Friday morning, Zar drove the bus through the gates to Cas' house. Exhausted and ready to sleep in his bed, Cas waved goodbye to his friend and unlocked the door. Once the alarm was turned off, he stretched and headed upstairs. He'd unpack and go through his mail later. All he wanted to do was sleep.

  
Cas woke Saturday around noon. He stared at the ceiling. This house had never been home to him. Even though he and Dean had talked briefly about him staying at the ranch for a few weeks, nothing was written in stone about their future. In Cas' perfect world, he'd sell this brick monstrosity and move to Odessa permanently. Many of the great voices of country music lived away from Nashville. Garth Brooks lived in Oklahoma. George Strait lived in Texas. Keith Urban lived in LA. It could be done. Nashville was just a few hours away by plane if he was needed. He rolled over on his stomach and grabbed his phone off the nightstand.

  
**Text to Dean/12:03 – Made it to Nashville.**

  
Before he could put it down again, it rang. Cas smiled at Dean's name on the screen. "Hello, Dean."

  
"Hey, Babe." Cas could hear the smile in Dean's voice and his cock showed interest. He let his palm rub over it before squeezing his balls gently.

  
"I'm lying in bed," Cas said, his voice dropping lower.

  
"I'm standing in a corral full of agitated cattle, so do not go there." Cas laughed huskily and then swung his legs off the bed, his half hard cock forgotten.

  
"Why did you piss off the cows, Dean?" Cas could hear the lowing of cattle now and an occasional shout.

  
"The mamas have got to let go of their babies and they aren't happy. Guess I wouldn't be either."

  
Cas stood up and stepped into the bathroom. He stood over the toilet and relieved himself, knowing Dean couldn't hear with all the noise in the background. "Dean, you sound busy, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

  
"Thanks, Babe. I'm up to my ass in alligators. I'll call you tonight. I love you."

  
"I love you too." Cas stared into the mirror at his nude body. Being without Dean was driving him crazy. Before he got into the shower, he called Gabe.

  
"Howdy, Caskatoon. What do I owe the pleasure of a call on your first true day off in months?"

  
"Can we meet for dinner tonight?"

  
"Uh oh, sounds ominous. Let me guess....hmmmmm... you want to spend more time with the love of your life and move to Texas to live among the natives."

  
"Gabriel, a simple yes or no would have sufficed."

  
"Sure, want to meet at Sambuca's?"

  
"Seven okay?"

  
"See you there." They said their goodbyes and Cas got into the shower. He dressed and spent the rest of his afternoon taking care of household business.

  
That evening, he drove to the restaurant and sent Gabriel a text letting him know he was there. Thankfully, Gabriel was already inside and seated. The hostess showed him to the table and he sat across from his brother. He'd sent a text to Dean that he'd call him later. He wanted to have something positive to say before they talked.

  
An hour later, the two brothers had a game plan. Gabriel assured him that he would handle all the details. The next order of business was Meg. "I have set up a meeting with her on Monday. I can do this for you, Castiel. No need for you to be there," Gabriel said soberly.

  
"No. I need to do it. What time?"

  
"Ten o'clock sharp. I've already talked to the lawyers and they don't have any issues other than we cannot accuse her of anything without proof."

  
As soon as he got into his car to head home, he called Dean. He didn't tell him about all the plans, but he did let him know he'd be in Odessa by Wednesday at the latest. He had three weeks to show Dean he was serious about a future together. Dean sounded tired and Cas wished he was there to rub Dean's back and give him a slow blowjob.

  
Before Cas left for the building that housed the offices of Cas Novak, he called Dean. "I'm heading to the office to fire Meg."

  
"You okay with it, Cas? I mean... I know she was a bitch about leaking the photo and trying to start shit, but she's been with you a while now, right?"

  
"Not as long as the others. She's really good, I'll give her that. Her voice is great and she harmonized with mine easily, but I won't ever be able to trust her again."

  
"I get that. Good luck, Babe."

  
He made sure he was there well before Meg's appointment time and waltzed into Gabriel's office after stopping to say hello to Claire and the rest of the staff. He'd just sat down and gotten comfortable when Gabriel's secretary informed them that she had arrived.

  
Meg was dressed in tight-fitting jeans, a t-shirt and a leather jacket. She looked surprised to see Cas. "Have a seat, Meg," Gabriel said politely. She sat and wouldn't meet Cas' eyes. She crossed her legs.

  
"Is this a contract negotiation?"

  
"Sort of," Gabriel hedged and Cas saw his opening.

  
"I've decided that you are no longer a good fit with the band, Meg. We are terminating your contract."

  
She looked furious. "On what grounds?" She looked quickly at Cas and then back at Gabriel like he'd take her side.

  
"If you read your contract, you'd know we don't have to have a reason," Gabriel supplied and passed over a copy of the contract with the clause highlighted in yellow.

  
"This is about everyone accusing me of leaking that picture of you and your boy toy, isn't it?" She stood up and crowded into Cas' personal space. He stood as well and towered over her.

  
"First of all, Dean isn't a boy. He's the man I'm in love with, and it would be wise of you to remember that before I blackball you to every musical act in Nashville. Second, I don't give a good God damn about the leak. I'm sure you were the culprit, but it turned out for the best. Your plan backfired on you, Meg." He saw Gabriel shake his head because Cas crossed the line and pretty much accused her of the leak.

  
She leaned both arms on Gabriel's desk and focused on him. "I will sue him for sexual harassment." Gabriel held up a hand when Cas took a menacing step towards the petite woman. Cas stopped, fuming at how far she was willing to go.

  
"You could, but I'd rethink that, Meg. Cas may have had a little fling with you, but you also slept with Harry, Ed, two of the road crew, one of the sound guys, one of the truck drivers, and if I searched long enough, I could probably get the names of all the concert promoters, dee jays and even a fan or two. You even tried to get Luc to sleep with you and he's happily married. So, do you really want to go there?"

  
"You bastard. Both of you can go straight to hell," she shouted. Gabriel stood up and came around his desk to stand by Cas.

  
"Now, my brother is being very generous. He's not going to go public and tell everyone you're a slut and he's willing to give you a month's severance pay. We won't give you a reference though, you're on your own there."

  
Meg's face was bright red and her fists were clenched at her side. Cas watched her take a few deep breaths and he thought she'd leave with her dignity still intact, but she disappointed him with her final outburst. "Just so you know, you weren't worth it. Hopefully, you're better in the sack with men. Of course, with Winchester's past, I'm sure you're all he can get. Who else would want a washed up drunk..."

  
"Severance pay is now off the table," Cas said coldly, a slight smile touched his lips.

  
"You fucking..."

  
"Uh uhm," I'd stop while I'm ahead," Gabriel interrupted, stepping towards her. She flounced her hair and slammed the door so hard a picture fell from the wall. Cas looked down at the shattered glass.

  
"I always hated that picture." Both men burst out laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always loved Meg's character on the show. I didn't want her paired with Cas, but I thought of her as a good friend to him and at the end, she came through for our boys. I usually write her in a good light, but for some reason, in this story, I wanted to paint her as a bitch.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know - there is a NSFW picture at the end, so if you are reading this in class, on the subway and sitting next to your children - BEWARE.

The last of the calves were on the way to the sales barn and Bobby went along to handle any negotiations. Dean's part-time help and Benny were out fixing a broken irrigation line. Dean sat his hat on the hood and glared at the old pickup. The radiator was leaking and he couldn't get to it without having to take the motor apart. He crouched down and stuck his head under the truck to see if there was a small chance he could see any signs of fluid. The sound of an engine reached his ears and he straightened. A blue sedan was coming up the driveway. Wiping his hands on an already dirty rag, he waited for the car to get closer, praying it wasn't one of Cas' over-zealous fans. They'd been lucky so far.

  
The car stopped and with the glare from the sun, Dean still couldn't see inside the vehicle. The door opened and Cas stepped out. "Surprise."

  
Stunned, all Dean could do was stare for a few seconds. "You aren't supposed to be here until Friday."

  
"Hence the word 'surprise'," Cas exclaimed, using air quotes. God, he looked good. Dean strode towards him and they wrapped their arms around each other. "I missed you so much, Dean," Cas whispered against the damp skin of Dean's neck. "I just couldn't wait to see you."

  
Dean pulled back enough that he could kiss Cas and then he gazed into his eyes. "I missed you too."

  
"Well, you might get tired of me before my time runs out." Dean didn't want to think of Cas leaving when he'd just gotten here.

  
"Never."

  
Since Bobby was staying over in Fort Worth, Dean and Cas had the house to themselves. Dean had quit work early to shower. He wasn't surprised when Cas stepped in behind him. Dean reached back and palmed Cas' cock. It was already half hard. "Horny?"

  
"Always," Cas murmured, nuzzling the back of Dean's neck. "You're all I've thought about...touching you...kissing you..." Cas' hands drifted up and down Dean's ribcage. Dean's own cock was showing interest. "I got myself off night after night – the whole time wishing it were you." Dean closed his eyes and let his head fall back to rest on Cas' shoulder. "I want to take you apart." Cas fingers combed through Dean's pubic hair, tugging at it, causing Dean to gasp, the pain and pleasure shooting straight to his dick.

  
The hot water beat down on Dean's chest and Cas' hand began to stroke him. "Cas..."

  
"Shhhhh." Cas's cock was pressing into the cleft of his ass. "Let me." Dean's breath was coming in loud gasps punctuated by soft grunts of contentment. "I want you to come for me, Dean. Let me hear you."

  
Dean whimpered as Cas increased his pace. Cas' other hand squeezed and tugged at his balls. The combination of Cas and the hot water was making him lightheaded. Cas' tongue swirled in his ear. "You are so beautiful," Cas said softly, the gentle puffs of air sending him closer and closer to the edge. "After you come, I want you on your knees, Dean." Yes, Dean wanted to taste Cas. He wanted to show him how much he loved him.

  
"Fuck..." Dean felt the white, hot coil in his belly. "Cas. Cas. Cas." His body jerked as Cas' hand drew out every drop. He could hear Cas' saying something in his ear, but he was lightheaded. Cas helped him ease to his knees, turning him away from the spray of water. Cas' heavy cock was in front of him and he leaned in, his mouth open to receive it, but Cas gripped his hair. Dean watched in rapt fascination as Cas jerked himself off inches from his face. When his eyes drifted north, Cas's eyes met his, the normally light blue eyes now a stormy sea. "You gonna come on my face, Cas? Mark me? Make me yours?" Dean kept his voice low and husky.

  
Cas was breathing hard, his hand moving up and down his thick shaft faster and faster. "Yes," Cas croaked out and then his moan seemed to echo off the shower's walls. Hot cum splashed onto Dean's lips, cheeks and chin. He could feel it slide down his neck and he smiled as his tongue darted out to lap it up. "Jesus, Dean," Cas cried out and slapped his palm on the glass door to keep from falling. Dean ran his hands over Cas' muscular thighs, feeling the slight tremble under his palms.

  
Dean groaned as he stood, he was getting too old to stay on his knees in a shower stall. He faced the now lukewarm spray and rinsed his face. When he was clean again, he turned off the water and taking Cas' hand in his, stepped out onto the mat. He passed Cas a towel and they quietly dried themselves off.

  
Ten minute later, they were downstairs. Cas, dressed in a pair of Dean's Dallas Cowboys sweats and an old gray t-shirt, followed Dean into the kitchen. "Dean, do you mind if I go see Gaga?" Dean straightened up from where he was staring into the fridge. He grinned.

  
"Sure, I think she missed you." Dean reached into the crisper and pulled a carrot out of the cellophane bag. "Give her a treat." Cas took the carrot, kissed Dean softly on the mouth and walked out the back door. Humming one of his own songs from long ago, Dean began seasoning the pork chops he'd decided on. From the window, he could see Cas walking towards the barn. Dean shook his head – the fool was barefoot.

  
When he got back, about fifteen minutes later, he was smiling. "How's your girl?"

  
"She's good. I'd like to go for a ride tomorrow, if that's alright?" Cas asked, his hip resting on the counter next to Dean.

  
"You don't need my permission, Cas. She's your horse."

  
"You do realize you've never cashed that check."

  
"Huh? Really." Dean turned to the stove again. The check was in the top drawer of his desk. Why hadn't he put it in the bank? Changing the subject, Dean indicated the fridge with a nod of his head. "Why don't you fix us something to drink. There's lemonade, sweet tea and root beer. We can go shopping tomorrow and get you some beer or wine if you want."

  
"Sweet tea is fine. What do you want?"

  
"Tea." Dean plated the chops while Cas poured their drinks. As they sat down to eat, Dean thought of how domestic this was and how he'd be perfectly happy to do simple things like this with Cas for the rest of his life. Cas would get bored though. They'd play house for three weeks and then Cas would go home to Nashville. Eventually, their relationship would lose the spark and the calls would become more and more infrequent.

  
"Dean." Dean look up from his stare-fest with his pork chop. "Dean," Cas said, louder. Dean shook himself out of his funk. "Where did you just go?"

  
"Nowhere. Right here, man, just eating my dinner."

  
"Right," Cas replied, voice dripping sarcasm. "What were you thinking about?"

  
"Nothing, Cas," Dean responded with a huff of annoyance. Cas was working his jaw like he was pissed. What a great way to start their time together. He'd fucked everything up already. Cas exhaled slowly.

  
"I'm not going to push, Dean. But if something is bothering either one of us, we should talk about it before it grows into something we can't fix."

  
***

  
With Cas' mind made up, he got everything done and let Gabriel handle the rest. At the airport, Gabriel turned to him. "You're sure about this."

  
"Yes."

  
"You want me to sell the house? Should I be planning to announce a wedding?" He knew Gabriel was being sarcastic and chose to ignore it.

  
"Dean hasn't asked me to stay in Odessa, Gabriel. You will be the first to know if I decide to sell the house."

  
He'd gotten an earlier flight out. Two days earlier. It was his turn to surprise Dean. The flight was uneventful with only a few people recognizing him in his baseball hat and aviators. When he pulled through the gate and started down the long dirt driveway, he felt like he was coming home. He felt more alive here than he'd ever felt in his cold house back in Nashville.

  
Cas saw the shape of a man's nicely shaped ass under the front end of a pickup. He'd know that ass anywhere. As he got closer, he watched Dean straighten to look at the strange car. He licked his lips. Dean was shirtless and a sheen of sweat covered his chest and stomach. He got his heart rate under control and got out of the car. "Surprise."

  
Dean looked shocked and for a second, Cas thought he was upset that Cas had come a couple days early. Then a smile touched his lips. "You aren't supposed to be here until Friday."

  
After the initial surprise wore off, Dean helped him with his bags and led him up to the house. They enjoyed a pleasurable shower and Cas would be seeing visions of Dean's face covered in his cum in every fantasy for the rest of his life.

  
As Dean fixed them a meal, Cas walked down to the barn to see his horse. She seemed to recognize him and reached her graceful neck over the stall door to greet him. He fed her the carrot and rubbed the area between her eyes. "I missed you, girl. I hope Dean took good care of you." She nudged his chest after she finished her snack. "There isn't any more. Don't be a pig." He'd never had a pet of any kind growing up and as an adult, he'd always been on the road with no time for an animal. He didn't know what he was missing until Dean stuck him with this horse.

  
"So, do you think you would like me to move here? I could see you everyday." He ran his hands down her velvety neck. "I just need to convince Dean to ask me to stay. Any suggestions?" He asked the horse softly. She rubbed her soft mouth over his shirt, pulling at it. He laughed. "I should have named you Miss Piggy."

  
Back inside, Cas brought up the subject of the check. Gabriel was the one who questioned it after his accountant brought it to his attention. Cas had to confess about the purchase of a forty thousand dollar animal. As expected, Gabriel laughed his ass off. Cas had given the invoice to the bookkeeper right after he'd gotten home and apparently, Dean never cashed the check and when asked, Dean changed the subject. He'd have to get to the bottom of it so he wouldn't be blamed for screwing up the books.

  
The meal looked amazing, but Dean was just picking at his food. He looked like he was a million miles away. Cas had to say his name twice before Dean met his eyes. Both of them got a bit testy with each other but in the end, Dean didn't trust him enough to talk to him about what was bothering him.

  
Silently, they cleaned the kitchen with Cas loading the dishwasher while Dean wiped off the stove and counters. "I need to go out and lock up the barns," Dean announced after the room was clean again.

  
"Do you want me to go with you?"

  
"No, why don't you just unpack or turn on the TV." Dean didn't wait for his response and Cas felt like hitting something when the door shut behind him. He marched up the stairs and his eyes were drawn to the bathroom. They'd enjoyed themselves and now, they were barely speaking. What was going on in Dean's mind? He stood by the window and from that vantage point, he could see the rest of the ranch buildings. He watched as Dean shut the large doors to each of the barns and checked the locks. He knew Dean only locked them now because of Cas' fans. As Dean made his way back to the house, he looked up and Cas knew he saw him silhouetted in the window. Cas put his hand on the glass and Dean looked away. He felt a stab of pain somewhere near his heart. He didn't know how long he stood like that staring into the twilight.

  
"Cas." He didn't turn. "Hey..."

  
"I think it's best if I sleep in the guest room tonight," Cas said, not taking his eyes off the night sky. He could still feel Dean's presence behind him, but he didn't speak. Cas pulled himself together and turned. Dean was standing there, looking like someone had just slapped him. Cas took a step towards his suitcase.

  
"Don't." The word came out broken. Cas stopped, but didn't look up. "I'm sorry."

  
Cas' hands tightened into fists. He was so frustrated. "What are you sorry for, Dean?"

  
"Can't we just forget it?" Cas rounded on Dean then.

  
"Forget it? Forget it, Dean, this is my first fucking day here. We are...I thought we..." Cas raked his fingers through his hair. "Why won't you talk to me?"

  
It was Dean's turn to get angry. "You don't get it, Cas. I've opened up to you more than anyone besides Sam and Bobby. You know all my secrets. You know my weaknesses. But..." The word hung in the air between them. Cas understood how fragile Dean was and he kept his mouth shut. Dean swallowed audibly. "What if..."

  
"Damn it, Dean. I love you. I want to be with you." Somehow, they'd gravitated towards each other like moths to a flame. They were only a couple of feet apart. Dean chewed on his lower lip and looked down at his feet.

  
"How do you want to be with me?" The questions was whispered. Oh. Cas thought he understood. He needed to know if Dean wanted permanence and in his own way, Dean let him know.

  
"Forever." Dean's eyes showed surprise and disbelief. "I want us to be together always, Dean, as hokey as sounds. I can record my songs here. Gabriel can run things from Nashville. He doesn't need me. I just need to know if that's what you want." He'd given himself three weeks to win Dean over, funny how he'd spilled his guts on the first day.

  
Dean stepped closer and the smile on his lips was tight and unsure. "I can't have you giving up all that for me, Cas. You have a home and a career in Nashville."

  
"My home is on a bus most of the time, Dean, and God, I'm so tired of it. I have a house in Nashville, a cold and empty house." Cas moved forward a few inches. They were less than a foot apart now.

  
"So...we're going to do this?" Dean still sounded uncertain.

  
"I want that." Dean lifted his hands and placed one on Cas' neck and the other at his waist. He pulled Cas against his body, resting his chin on Cas' shoulder. Cas felt more than heard the sigh of relief. "Don't keep things from me, Dean."

  
"'Kay." Cas pressed his palm against the back of Dean's head, holding him close. They stayed in each others arms for a long time. Cas just listening to Dean's breathing. It was Dean that finally pulled back, meeting Cas' eyes. "I do love you."

  
"And I love you." Cas used his body to nudge Dean towards the bed. Dean's soft chuckle made him lift an eyebrow.

  
"What is so funny?"

  
Dean pointed to the clock by the bed. "It's barely seven, Cas."

  
"I wasn't planning on sleeping for a couple of hours, Dean. Now, kindly take off your clothes."

  
***

  
On the way to the barn, Dean's mind worked overtime. What had he done? He should have just made something up instead of shutting Cas out. He threw the bolt of the first barn a bit harder than necessary. _Right, Winchester, lie to the man you love._

Disgusted with himself, he finished locking up and feeling like a man facing a firing squad, he started towards the house. Halfway there, he happened to look up at his window. Backlit by the bedroom light, Cas stood there watching him. As their eyes met, Cas lifted his hand and put it on the pane. Feeling like shit, Dean looked away. Once inside, he mounted the stairs, his hand gripping the rail so tight it almost hurt. His bedroom door was open and Cas was still at the window. He didn't even react when Dean called his name.

  
Cas' words ripped his heart out. Suddenly, it was clear. If he didn't come clean, he could lose Cas, but he could lose him anyway if Cas didn't want the same things. And like the moron he was, he deflected. He said he was sorry and told Cas to forget it.  
It seems Cas was just as stubborn as he was – like a dog with a fucking bone. The words burst forth, Dean's frustration evident. "What if..." He stopped. This was worse than anything he'd ever faced. Cas was either going to refuse to hitch his wagon to a recovering drunk and washed up singer or he was going to say he wanted the same things Dean did. He had a fifty-fifty shot and he just couldn't do it.

  
"Damn it, Dean. I love you. I want to be with you." It was with those angry words that Dean noticed he and Cas were standing closer than before. And then a few whispered words were all it took. Cas wanted to be here...with him. They wanted the same thing. While they didn't mention marriage or anything like that, they both wanted permanence and right now, that was enough for Dean. 

  
Dean stripped off his clothes quickly and waited for Cas' next move. Cas, still fully clothed, cupped Dean's balls. He brushed his lips across Dean's. "You are so damn stubborn." Dean smiled and snagged Cas' bottom lip between his teeth. He pressed down until Cas moaned and then let go.

  
"Pot, this is the kettle, you're black." Cas chuckled softly before taking Dean's mouth in a scorching kiss. Dean tugged at Cas' sweats, yanking them roughly down his thighs. "Need you naked," Dean said, his voice rough with need. Cas obliged and soon they were a tangled mess of arms and legs on the bed. Cas used his knees to spread Dean's legs. Dean closed his eyes and let himself be manhandled. He felt the velvety slide of Cas' shaft against his own. Cas' hands disappeared from his skin, but were back within seconds, slick with lube. With eyes locked on each other, Cas pumped them both, his long fingers snug around their cocks.

  
With his heart racing and the two of them gasping to get enough air, Cas brought them off within seconds of each other. Dean's stomach was a mess of their combined cum. He knew he should be surprised at anything Cas did, but when he began to lick Dean's belly, Dean moaned at the sight. Cas was going to be the death of him. "Jesus, Cas...I love you...damn, I love you so much."

  
Cas looked up, his lips and chin covered in their cum and Dean hauled him up and shared a deep, dirty kiss.

  
Waking up with Cas was something he didn't think he'd ever take for granted. Cas was always grumpy when Dean's alarm would sound in the mornings. They got into a routine. Dean would go downstairs and fix his coffee, bringing it back upstairs to drink it while sitting on the edge of the bed watching Cas sleep. He knew it was kind of creepy, but he couldn't help it. After he finished his first cup of the day, he showered and dressed. Bobby usually had breakfast ready by then and the two of them would eat together.

  
Cas usually drifted out of the house around eight-thirty or nine. He would find Dean and ask what Dean wanted him to help with. Sometimes, they'd saddle their horses and ride the fence. Most times, he, Bobby and Benny had their daily chores down to a science and he really didn't have anything for Cas to do. Those days, Cas would ride Gaga around the ranch or remain inside playing his guitar and writing music.

  
It was during the evenings when they were inseparable. Cas helped him fix dinner and afterwards, they'd watch television or Dean would find a movie on Netflix. It seemed that Cas never took much time to see any movies, so Dean took it upon himself to give Cas a pop culture education. When they went to bed, the sex ranged from slow lovemaking to some of the raunchiest sex Dean had ever had. Cas introduced him to a whole new world. The first time he rimmed Cas, he was nervous. Barfing during sex would probably count as a big turn-off. He was surprised that he enjoyed doing that for Cas. Knowing he was responsible for Cas forgetting the English language made him feel powerful. They tried some light bondage and Dean found he liked being tied up. They'd even gotten each other off in the barns, the tack room and a few times on Dean's desk. Thankfully, no one caught them.

  
One day blended into another and Dean found himself craving a drink as the days to Cas' departure were marked off the calendar. It was the Wednesday before Cas was to head back to Nashville and Dean pulled Benny aside. "I can't do this," he whispered, all the while looking around the corner to make sure Cas wasn't around.

  
"Do what, brother?"

  
"I'm..." Fuck, what would Benny think of him?

  
"Dean." Benny placed a hand on his shoulder and met his eyes. "He loves you and just because he's gotta get back to Nashville doesn't mean it's over. Have you talked about it with him?" Leave it to Benny to get what was bothering Dean.

  
"Sort of." Benny rolled his eyes. "Okay, so he says he wants a future with me and he wants to give up touring."

  
"And..."

  
"And what? Fuck, Benny, he says he wants to be here on the ranch with me, but what if he gets back to Nashville and decides..."

  
"Stop it, Dean. Stop talking yourself into a meltdown. If he says he wants a life on the ranch with you, then give him some credit. Sure, he's got a life in Nashville and he's got to take care of business, but he'll be back. I have faith in him. Do you?"

  
Did he? How could Benny have faith in a man when Dean was sweating bullets? What did that say about him? Then he turned away and glanced out of the barn doors and there was Cas with Gaga, walking towards them, a smile on his face. The answer came to him. "Yeah, I have faith in him. He loves me."

  
"Yes, he does. I don't see how," Benny replied, his voice and expression showing Dean he was teasing. Dean punched him on the bicep, before moving out to meet Cas. He reached for Gaga's bridle.

  
"You have a nice ride?"

  
"Yes, I finally figured out how to get to the creek." Cas seemed so proud of himself. It's only taken him almost three weeks to find it by himself. Dean waited until Cas dismounted before pulling him into a hug.

  
"Wanna go out tonight?"

  
Cas squinted at him. "Out? Like leave the ranch?" Oh, right. If they went out to a restaurant or bar, Cas would get swamped by his adoring public.

  
"Forget it. Stupid idea."

  
"No, not a stupid idea. I just don't like sharing you with anyone else. I love our nights together cooking and watching TV."

  
"I just figured you'd be bored with all that."

  
Narrowing his eyes, Cas wrapped his fingers around Dean's upper arms. "Dean, I could never be bored as long as I’m with you."

  
"Yeah, but in Nashville..." Cas hand covered his mouth so fast, Dean couldn't even react.

  
"Nashville is in my past. You are my future. I could live the rest of my life on this ranch with you and I would die a happy man." He took his hand away. "Now, if you want to go out, that's fine, but if you are doing it because of me, you can just forget about it."

  
Dean shrugged. "Well, I did have a craving for some ice cream from Frosty Treats." He'd never tell Cas that moments before he was craving a drink. Thankfully, Benny helped him see the error of his ways.

  
They quickly showered and Dean pulled the Impala out of the shed. If they were going on a date, he's taking his baby. They drove through the Wendy's and got burgers. Dean wasn't big on fast food, but he had an idea. He drove to Comanche Trail Park and pulled up next to the pond. Cas looked around them and then grinned. They got out and sat on the hood of the car. "This is nice."

  
"It's not much, but it's quiet this time of day."

  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Cas asked quietly, not looking up from his hamburger.

  
"What?"

  
"Dean." The tone was there and Dean knew he'd made a promise to Cas.

  
"I'm just afraid you will get back to Nashville and realize that life on a ranch is kind of...not your thing."

  
Cas inhaled and exhaled...loudly. "What are you doing?" Dean asked, concerned.

  
"I'm counting to ten. Be quiet, I'm only on five."

  
"Sure, just take your time." Dean found himself counting the five remaining breaths. "You good?"

  
Carefully, balling up his trash, Cas nodded, his eyes on the small flock of ducks eyeing them from a few yards away. "Just so you know, I called Gabriel last week and told him to list the house. I am going back to Nashville, and notice, I didn't say 'home', to sign some papers and pack up a few things. I will have to deal with some contracts and have a meeting with both my band and my label. I am hoping to have everything taken care of in less than two weeks. I will have to return when the house sells and probably a few times a year after that. You, Dean Winchester..." He poked his finger into Dean's chest and yes, it hurt. "...need to understand that I mean what I say. If I did not feel that I could live my life with you, I wouldn't have said it. Of course, I may be having second thoughts because you are one of the most infuriating men I have ever met."

  
"But you love me."

  
"God, help me, yes, I love you."

  
They held hands on their way to the Frosty Treats and each got a large cone. Dean claimed a picnic table and they sat hip to hip as they licked their ice cream, both making dirty comments about tongues and dicks, until they were both giggling like school children.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end. I have a few folks that I'd like to thank. First Sega, for editing this as I wrote it. She's the bomb. And Angi, she was always there when I needed a sounding board or an idea when I drew a blank (that happens a lot). And Tiffany, she offered encouragement the whole way through and kept me "interested" with her late night pictures.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the ride. I am leaving for a writers' retreat tomorrow morning and won't be back for five days so you won't hear much from me since our remote cabin does not have wi-fi. I'll be focusing on my first DCBB while in the mountains of Georgia. 
> 
> My next story for you will begin sometime next week. Dean and Cas on a gay cruise. Should be fun, huh?

Cas wiped his mouth and grinned up at Dean. His boyfriend had a blissed out expression, but his eyes were still darting around nervously. "I can't believe you actually did that," he whispered like he was expecting the airport security to come at them with guns drawn. Cas sat up and adjusted his pants. His dick was straining against his zipper and it wasn't very comfortable.

  
"Just wanted to give you something to jerk off too while I'm gone, Dean," Cas said, his voice raspy. The semi-public sex might have made Dean nervous, but it made him hot too and Cas' throat was going to be a bit sore for a while.

  
After that, their goodbye was poignant and sweet. The trip was long and since he'd left his aviators and baseball cap at Dean's, he'd gotten lots of notice. He kept his smile throughout each and every fan photo, but by the time he got into Gabriel's SUV, he was mentally and physically exhausted. They stopped for dinner and Gabriel assured him that everything was in order. He'd be away from Dean for two weeks, that's all.

  
The first week, he spent packing up the things he wanted to keep and arranging for the shipment of his piano and other things. Gabriel was handling the sale of the rest of the furnishing along with the house itself. He was still debating whether to have his car shipped or drive it out to Texas, but he was leaning towards shipping it.

  
The band was pretty cool with his decision to stop touring and while the bigwigs from his label weren't happy at the loss of income, they didn't have a choice but to go along.

  
Eleven days into his return to Nashville, Zar showed up at his door. "Just wanted to stop by before you leave and say goodbye." Cas really looked at his old friend and saw dark circles under his eyes.

  
"What's going on with you?" He asked, tugging his driver into the house.

  
He got a shrug in response. Cas narrowed his eyes. Gabriel had assured him that Zar and all his other roadies had new jobs already. No one was going to be unemployed by Cas' decision. Zar was walking around the living room, now devoid of the piano and stacked with boxes awaiting the moving van due in a few hours. "Zar, are you okay?"

  
"I suppose so. Met with my new boss."

  
"Who is it? Anyone I know?"

  
"No...yes...maybe. Some up and comer named, Amara."

  
Since Cas kept up with the country music scene through Facebook and CMT, he'd heard of the woman. Good voice, but said to be a bitch. "Zar, if it doesn't work out, please let me know. And you are always welcome at the ranch. Maybe Dean can teach you to ride." Zar snorted at that, but his shoulders didn't seem as tense. Cas realized that he was leaving behind a lot of people he cared about and thought of as friends.

  
On his nightly call with Dean, he let it slip that he'd miss Zar and Gabriel. "You know, Cas, they can come out and stay anytime they want."

  
"I know," Cas said, sighing as he laid back against the headboard. He looked around at his bedroom, stark without the photos and other personal touches he'd added over time.

  
"Second thoughts?" Dean asked, his voice empty of emotion.

  
"No even one," Cas assured him. "Being with you is the only thing I need, Dean."

  
"I love you, Babe."

  
"Not half as much as I love you." The bantered back and forth about who loved who the most, a silly game they played before they hung up each night. It lightened Cas' mood and he slept easy.

  
Once he was back at the ranch, their lives settled into a pattern. Cas wrote music, kept up with the business side of Novak Enterprises and drove to the studio once or twice a week to try out new songs with a few of the musicians he'd gotten to know in the area. Their evenings were spent together, going on rides or watching television.

  
Their song continued to stay high on the charts due to a lot of airplay and no one was surprised when it was nominated for Duo of the Year for the CMA awards. Dean was pleased, but nothing was said about him going to the event. As November came and went, with a traditional Thanksgiving held at the ranch, Cas began to wonder if life before Dean had been fulfilling at all. Sure, they fought. Even little arguments turned into heated rows because they were both loud and outspoken, but they made up, usually with sex first and then calm discussions afterwards.

  
Christmas drew closer and life on a working ranch got busy. Dean came in late and ate standing up in the kitchen. Bobby, who'd moved out back in October to live with Ellen and give them some privacy, usually left around the same time Benny did. Cas offered to help Dean, but it was mostly paperwork that kept Dean in his office after everyone else went home. Those were the nights that Cas took care of Dean. Drawing him a hot bath, even though Dean bitched about real men not taking baths. Sex was often times lazy and drawn out.

  
Cas learned that Dean was like a child when it came to the holidays. The house was decorated beautifully and when he found out Cas wanted to learn to bake, it was on. Saturday and Sunday afternoons, Dean taught Cas to make cookies and Cas took pride in the fact that he was more artistic than Dean.

  
"Is that a moose?"

  
"No, it's a reindeer, Cas. Can't you see the red nose?"

  
"Oh, yes, but Dean, the antlers are a bit out of proportion, don't you think?"

  
"You've just never seen a real reindeer, Cas. Those antlers are massive."

  
"I have seen an actual reindeer, Dean and don't remember their antlers being this...blobby."

  
"Blobby isn't even a real word," Dean said petulantly and carefully packed his top-heavy cookies in the plastic container. Cas tried to hide his smile as he wrapped his arms around Dean.

  
"Your reindeer are perfect, Dean."

  
"Yeah...whatever." Dean picked up one of Cas' angels. "You didn't even put a halo on them and why did you paint his wings black? That's not Christmasy, Cas."

  
"You are really competitive, aren't you?" Cas asked, taking the cookie out of Dean's hand and biting the top off one of the dark wings. "Admit it, I'm just better at decorating cookies than you are."

  
"I will admit nothing," Dean said, his lips drawn up in a perfect pout. Moments later, Cas was kissing that pout off Dean's lips while Dean's hands wrapped around their erections. Thankfully, the cookies were put away by then.

  
By mid-March, Cas was more comfortable with the work on the ranch and he spent almost as much time in the saddle as Dean. Spring would be a busy time as the foals and calves would be arriving. Dean still hadn't mentioned attending the CMA awards with him and Cas didn't see any reason to push him.

  
It was the following Sunday evening that Gabriel called. "The CMA folks want to know if you want to perform the duet," Gabriel opened with in lieu of a hello.

  
"No, Dean hasn't mentioned even going, so I don't see that happening, Gabriel." Dean was upstairs showering after their moonlight ride and Cas was sitting at the dining room table looking over his emails while he chatted with his brother.

  
"We have until next Monday to give them an answer. Have you even asked him about going?"

  
"I told him we were nominated and he was pleased, but he didn't say anything about going and I'm not going to push him." The two brothers talked for a while longer about business related topics and then Cas hung up. Dean walked into the kitchen, his back to Cas as he went straight for the fridge. He turned with a root beer in his hand.

  
"How's Gabe?" Dean was already rubbing his thumbnail over the label, still not looking at Cas. Cas stood and moved towards Dean. When Cas reached for him, Dean moved away. Cas watched him pick up the kitchen sponge and wipe at a non-existent spot on the counter.

  
"Gabriel is fine. Spill." Dean looked up then and seemed to have an inner dialogue with himself for a few seconds before tossing the sponge in the sink.

  
***

  
Dean finished his shower and headed down the steps in his socks. The house was still a bit cool to be barefoot and Cas made fun of his old slippers. He was going to slide into the kitchen like Tom Cruise in Risky Business when he realized Cas was on the phone with Gabe. He wondered what Cas meant when he said he didn't see it happening. He stayed where he was, just in the shadows. They were talking about the CMA awards. Cas' conversation turned to business stuff and Dean leaned against the wall. He heard Cas say goodbye and took a deep breath. Cas still walked on eggshells around him when it came to the music industry.

  
He entered the kitchen and went straight to the fridge. He asked about Gabe, but Cas' response told him his lover knew something was up. Again, that damn promise about sharing what was bothering him made him speak.

  
"You want me to go to Nashville for the CMA, don't you?"

  
"Dean, I..."

  
"Just answer the question, Cas. No need to beat around the bush. A simple yes or no will suffice."

  
"Yes." Cas leaned against the center island and met his eyes without blinking.

  
"Okay, so, why didn't you mention it?" He'd managed to peel the label off the root bear and now had a small pile of paper shavings on the countertop.

  
"I didn't think you would want to go. You knew about the nomination."

  
"Sounds fair," And it did. When Cas and Gabe told him about their duet being nominated, he'd been happy for Cas. It didn't dawn on him that Cas would want to include him. But that was stupid, wasn't it? Of course, Cas would want him to be a part of it. He took another swig of root beer and for a split second, wished it were Scotch – a nice single malt. "Let's do it then."

  
"What? Sing our duet at the awards? Dean, that's great." Cas was suddenly in his personal space and twirling him around the kitchen. Sing?

  
"Wait, what do you mean sing?" The elation on Cas' face fell.

  
"Gabriel just called. The committee wants us to sing our song live at the CMA." Dean felt his heartbeat quicken. Singing onstage at Cas' concert was nerve racking in itself, but live. Live in front of millions? Whoa. "Dean, it's okay, we don't have to. We can go and just enjoy ourselves."

  
"Let me think about it." Dean had to think about it. A lot.

  
The next day, his crew had just finished mucking out all the stalls and getting the broodmare barn stocked for foaling season. Dean pushed his hat back on his head and scratched his belly. He'd lost his shirt about two hours ago. The temperatures were in the high eighties today. Ben had come over to ride that afternoon and Lisa just picked him up, so Dean unbridled the horse and held out a bucket of sweet feed to the mare. As he stood there, looking down at the horse, an epiphany came to him. Cas gave up his life in Nashville to be with Dean. What was one night? Dean was a recovering alcoholic, not some newborn colt that can't even stand on his own. He gave the horse a swat on the rump and yelled out to Benny that he was headed to the house. He had a boyfriend to surprise with his news.

  
When April arrived, wildflowers were blooming in the pastures and new calves were running around. Foals were already on the ground and many more were expected. "We got this, Dean. Just git, will ya," Bobby said for about the fifteen time that morning. Their bags were packed and waiting by the door. Dean was just checking the barn one last time.

  
"Fine, but if you have any problems, just give me a call. I'll have my phone..."

  
"We know," Benny and Bobby said in unison. Dean stuck his tongue out and headed to the house. Cas was dressed in his usual jeans, but he was wearing a Winchester Quarter Horses t-shirt. Somehow he and Benny had talked Dean into getting those printed up. Seeing it on Cas made him forget his reluctance. Perched on his head, was a baseball hat with a rooster on it. He smirked when Dean rolled his eyes.

  
"Like my hat? I do love cock."

  
"Only mine, I hope, and where did you get that anyway?"

  
"Only yours...well, I'm partial to my own cock too. Gabriel sent it to me." Cas picked up his bags and pushed past Dean. "Hurry up or we're going to be late for our flight."

  
"Figures." Gabe had a weird sense of humor.

  
They touched down in Nashville and Gabe met them at the airport. Fans cheered as they walked through the baggage claim area and Cas stopped to sign autographs and take pictures. Dean stayed off to the side with Gabe, but several people pointed and asked him for his picture too. Gabe put an end to it after about ten minutes and dragged them out of the terminal.

  
"The band has practiced on the Bridgestone stage and there will be time for a soundcheck tomorrow morning. You have everything? Tuxes, guitars, etc, etc, etc.?"

  
"Yes, Dad," Dean said under his breath and Cas snickered. Gabe gave them a dirty look before pulling into traffic. They were staying at the Gaylord and after they got checked in, the three ate a quick meal at one of the many restaurants downstairs. Dean found that he wasn't nervous. Sam, Bobby and Benny would be watching from back home and he would show them all he was okay with being in the spotlight. Just as long as Cas was at his side.

  
The next morning was busy with interviews, events planned for the celebrity attendees and the soundcheck. It went off without a hitch and Dean tried to pretend the arena was filled with thousands of people. His peers and many others in the music industry. Well, Cas' peers anyway. Dean wasn't nervous at all, but he really was glad he'd left this behind. It might be fun to get behind a microphone, but his home was on the ranch. He was just lucky enough that Cas felt the same way.

  
Cas and Dean took the stage right after the announcement of the winner of the Music Video of the Year Award. "And here performing their hit duet, Brand New Man, nominated for the Vocal Duo of the Year, put your hands together for Cas Novak and Dean Winchester," host Brad Paisley said into his microphone. Both men waved to the crowd and took their places in front of the band. Luc began the opening chords and after a quick glance at Cas, Dean looked out at the audience and started to sing. Grinning at each other, they finished the song and clasped hands before bowing and remained in place until the curtains closed. Dean swung Cas around, laughing. He'd done it. They could still hear the cheering.

  
Gabe gave them cool cloths to wipe the sweat and a young man came up to give their faces a bit of powder so they'd look okay when the cameras panned the crowd as they named the nominees later in the show. They changed shirts and donned their tux jackets and bow ties. Both kept on their jeans and boots. Right before they made their way back to their seats, they put their matching Stetsons on their still damp hair.

  
"And the nominees for Vocal Duo of the Year, Florida Georgia Line," the presenters paused as their picture flashed on the screen and a snippet of their hit single played. "Brothers Osbourne." And down the list until, "Cas Novak and Dean Winchester".  
Dean saw the cameras on them and he looked up at the huge screen onstage. It was a picture of the two of them on their horses, taken at the ranch. He looked at Cas, who just smiled and whispered, "Charlie took it."

  
"And the winner is..." The presenters wasted a few minutes fighting over the envelope and making canned jokes. When it was finally opened, he read, "Cas Novak and Dean Winchester." Their song played as the two men took the stage, still holding hands. Cas accepted the award and nudged Dean towards the microphone. Shit. Cas was the one who was supposed to do the acceptance speech. After a second of panic, Dean cleared his throat.

  
"Cas and I...we just want to thank everyone for requesting this on the radio. This song was a labor of love...really it was. We fell for each other because of this song." The audience had quieted and he felt Cas' hand in his. "Cas wouldn't take no for an answer. He showed up at my ranch in his big fancy bus and thought he'd just snap his fingers and I'd fall all over myself to sing with him." The crowd laughed. "But I didn't make it easy for him. I made him buy a forty thousand dollar horse in order for him to even get to talk to me." More laughter and looking out, Dean saw all the smiling faces and he felt a bit stronger. "Because he wouldn't take no for an answer, he showed me that he believed in me..." Dean blinked and looked at Cas. Pride was all over Cas' face. "He believes in me and I want to spend the rest of my life living up to that." Flash bulbs popped around them and the noise was deafening. Cas looked stunned.

  
One of the presenters, a singer named Kelsea, leaned into the microphone. "Did you just propose?" Cas covered the microphone, a pissed off look in his face. Still trying to protect him. Dean pushed his hand away.

  
"I guess I did."

  
All eyes turned to Cas and blushing, he just nodded and mouthed the word 'yes'.

  
The picture of their kiss was all over social media and made the front page of CMA Magazine.

  
Later that night, after all the photos were taken and the champagne bottles were emptied, the two men reclined against the headboard in their luxurious suite. Cas stared at him in wonder. "I still can't believe you did that."

  
Dean shrugged shyly. "I knew I wanted that...a life with you...but I planned on being a bit more romantic. Bended knee and all that..."

  
"It was perfect, Dean. For you to do something that personal in front of all those people...it means something. I love you so much."

  
"Love you too, Babe."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One minor mistake. The CMA awards actually airs in November. I mis-read the website and somehow got April and I'd already finished it before I realized my mistake. So, in Fran's world it happens in April - sorry. Just call this artistic license.

**Author's Note:**

> The Supernatural characters don't belong to me, but I like to take them out and play with them on occasion.
> 
> As you know, Cas and Dean are fictional people and could not write or sing songs, so I use creative license to help them along for the sake of the story. As the story progresses, I will give credit to any and all artists and songwriters. I hope you will give the songs a listen. 
> 
> Chapter One songs include Driving My Life Away, it was sung by the late Eddie Rabbit and co-written by Rabbit and David Malloy, and I Can't Help Myself, also sung by Rabbit, co-written by Rabbit and Even Stevens.


End file.
